Category Archives: Bodily functions

I don’t read women’s magazines anymore.

There was a time, during my teens, when I devoured teen mags and then “graduated” to Cosmo and other women’s magazines. Looking back it strikes me as strange that I enjoyed reading them so much, because I never was interested in all those beauty and fashion tips. I guess it made me feel grown-up, part of the glamorous world of confident, adult women. And all those articles on how to combat cellulite, how to get the perfect tan or shave without getting irritated skin, made me think that, if I just tried hard enough, I could have a sexy, smooth body like those women in the photos.

And then I grew up. Or rather, I grew into myself. I gained weight – first all on my legs, so I changed my diet and lost it again, but then again more evenly, turning my decidedly pear-shaped body into more of an hourglass. A very pale hourglass with bumps and veins and hair in places beauty magazines (and porn films) make us believe women shouldn’t have hair. But really, I’ll never get rid of my big butt and thighs (short of liposuction), I’ll never be tan (believe me, I tried, resulting in painful weeks spent looking like a lobster), and what the hell is wrong with hair anyway?

I must admit, in summer I still shave my lower legs, and I’m lucky in a way that here in Switzerland (or at least in my circle of friends) having a ‘bush’ is the norm, so I never felt pressure in that area, but I’ve mostly embraced my body the way it is. I don’t judge women who prefer to look differently¹, who enjoy primping and shaping their bodies, but I hope they do it for the right reasons, not because they somehow got the impression that their natural body is disgusting.

I’m probably a 1 on the Kinsey scale², but I find women beautiful. As with men, their attractiveness often doesn’t have much to do with the way they look, but rather with the way they meet the world: open and honest and confident in their self-worth. Seriously, is there anything sexier than a happy smile one someone who looks as if they love the way they are?

That’s something I enjoyed about the burlesque class I took last year – it was a bunch of women of different shapes, ages and ethnicities, strutting our stuff, cheering each other on. Wobbly bits, sweaty faces, wrinkles and all, we all felt sexy in that room, for once unafraid of the judgement of the mirror.

Since I’m a cis woman¹, once a month I menstruate². There are of course cis women that, for a variety of reasons, don’t, but for most of us this is a regular (or semi-regular) occurence from the time we hit puberty until menopause.

From age 16 to 26 I was on hormonal birth control pills because of my skin and to lessen the horrific cramps I had as a young teen, so I only really started experiencing natural hormonal changes when I was in my late 20s. And I loved it! Seriously, it felt like a revelation to suddenly be able to sense my body changing, going through the cycle of ovulation and menstruation. I especially enjoyed the periods of horniness around the former – and I was lucky in that these days I only experience managable discomfort at the beginning the latter.

It made me pay attention to my body in a completely new way – I bought myself a vibrator, and I got interested in alternative menstrual products³. In a way, being more aware of my female body made me a better feminist: I noticed that I had considered my menstrual cycle as an aberration from the norm, as something to be controlled – which is silly, considering that over 50% of the world’s population menstruate. So really, talking about your cycle and the way you experience it, should be completely acceptable and normal, but obviously, in our society the male body provides the norm, with us poor females having to deal with being different/weaker/hormonally challenged.

Until then I had thought myself quite enlightened – after all, even at 14 I made a point of not hiding my sanitary pads⁴ at the cash desk of the supermarket, and I scolded my brother for flinching at the mention of tampons. Still, I had treated my menstrual cycle as an inconvenience, the less thought of the better. I’m not saying I’m not ever complaining about my PMS symptoms or that I’ll never go back on hormonal birth control (actually, I used the NuvaRing last year), but allowing myself to really experience my cycle (including syncing up with a flat mate) gave me a whole new perspective and appreciation.

What about you? What’s your relationship with your cycle like?

Bodily functions will talk about my experiences with my female body.