Title: A Series of Firsts

Author:Jules

Parts:12

Rating:PG to NC 17

Pairing:Nick/Kev

Feedback:Yes Please - mailto:goddess_julie@just-in-dreams.com

Disclaimer:This is fiction, created for the sole purpose of entertainment. I am not making assumptions on the past and present, nor the sexual orientation of these men.

Notes:I don't know exactly how things went down and the guys got together. I know that AJ, Nick and Howie were the firsts and then Kevin and Brian joined last, respectively. It's my story and so I'm making things how I want them to be. How they fit. So if it is wrong (which I'm sure it will be) just go with it. That also goes for a lot of other details. Some are accurate, some not so much

Dedication:To the ladies who mean so much to me. You're always there when I need to be cheered up, when I'm down or just when I need to vent a little, providing me with a shoulder to laugh, cry or rant on. For that, I am eternally greatful. Thank you.
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A Series of Firsts
by Jules

First Meeting

Kevin got a call from a friend of a friend saying that these kids were looking for a few guys to start a singing group. He'd been trying for god knew how long in Orlando to make it big, and had only successfully managed to land a gig at Disney. To people who didn't live anywhere in the area it sounded like the perfect job. To people who knew the real deal, it wasn't anything to be all that proud of. Everyone who was trying to make it big in Orlando worked at Disney. It was like a prerequisite or something. But when Kevin heard about these kids, two of whom he was sure he'd heard of before at auditions and stuff, he got a feeling in his stomach. A nervous, anxious feeling and it had been so long since he'd actually felt that feeling that he decided to act on it. See where it would lead. The friend gave him the name of the kids, Alex McLean, Howard Dorough and Nicky Carter as well as Alex's phone number. "Call him man. They're looking and they're serious. It's your key out of this hole."

Kevin kept that phone number in his wallet for a week, unsure if he could make the call. After checking things out, it was confirmed that he had in fact met Alex and Howard at a few auditions. Apparently Nicky had been at a few of the same calls as he'd been, but Kevin couldn't place the name or the face. That could have had something to do with him being 12. Twelve to Kevin's 21. In the end, Kevin finally sucked up his jitters and phoned the number he'd been given, talking to someone who had introduced herself as Denise, Alex's mom. He went to see them and auditioned, singing something off of the top of his head. They had a pow wow in the kitchen, which wasn't all too far from the living room giving him ample opportunity to hear everything they were saying about him, and returned a few minutes later, all wearing giant smiles. He was in.

That was the day he first met Nick, but it wasn't entirely too memorable. Except for the fact that he'd just joined something that would change the rest of his life. He had been so worried, so nervous that anything other than performing was out of his mind. Denise sent Nick and Alex out to the store to get pizza, giving him, her and Howie a chance to talk. What they were expecting from the group, what her role would be and how exactly they were going to tackle getting a fifth and then finally a contract. Names were thrown around and they got a fifth guy, who looked nice and sang okay, but didn't really have the heart and drive that they did. At this point, someone, Kevin wasn't entirely sure who, got them a meeting with a man named Lou Pearlman. The name meant everything to anyone who knew anything about pop music. But if people didn't know his name, they knew the names of five other white boys that had made a huge splash in the music industry, New Kids on the Block. Although having a fiery end, New Kids had broken ground in the industry for pop music and after learning from the mistakes made with those five, Lou was ready to try again. And he wanted to try with them. Kevin, Alex, Nick, Howie and Phoenix. But as time went on, it was clear that not everyone was ready for the long hours and dedication it would take to be famous. So Phoenix left and they were once again faced with the task of finding a fifth to complete the group, because as Lou drilled it into their heads, the magic number was five, not four.

Kevin made a call and his cousin was flown in from Kentucky. Auditions were had and no discussion was needed, he was in the group. They were finally a group. Backstreet Boys to be exact. Their dreams were all going to come true and after working for it for so long, Kevin finally allowed himself the time to sit back and enjoy it. It was just the five of them. Contracts were drawn up and signed, rehearsals began and the reality

was sinking in. It was then that he took a look at his band mates. Brian he'd known his entire life and although he wouldn't admit it to anyone, he was ecstatic that he was in the group with him. He was family and Kevin felt just a little less alone with him there. Howie was the oldest after him and someone Kevin could talk to. They had so much in common and he just had a strong head on his shoulder. Alex was a lot younger than he was, but mature beyond his years. He'd been the male of the house since birth practically and had taken the protective role with his mother to heart. As young as he was, he was equally as dedicated and driven, something that Kevin noticed even before they'd joined the group. And Nicky. Little Nicky. He was the youngest and most of the time acted that way. There were nine years separating the two of them and for the most part, Kevin was annoyed with his immaturity. His childishness. They didn't clash so much as just kept away from each other. Nick had a lot of growing up to do and he wasn't entirely sure that it should be him to help him with that. That's what his parents were for.

Time passed and Lou gave them the wonderful news of the CD being released and a tour starting in Europe. They hadn't been a group for too long at this point, but still it was the beginning of what was going to be the biggest trips of their lives. Denise would accompany them, designated the tour mom. Kevin thought that Jane Carter would also be coming, since her son was the youngest and ...well her son, but shockingly she declined saying that she had other business to attend to while they were in Europe. It was then that Kevin fully understood his role in the group. Big brother. As much as Denise could be the surrogate mother, the guys needed a positive male influence, someone that they could go to when too embarrassed to go to Denise. AJ, Howie and Brian were okay most of the time, having been old enough to be able to deal with being away from home for so long and everything that went along with their new lives. Nick was not as quick to adjust and was slowly withdrawing into a shell.

"Nick, can we talk?" Kevin asked one night on the tour bus. Everyone else had gone to sleep and they were somewhere in Germany. At least he thought they were still in Germany. After a while it all seemed the same. They'd been in Europe for 6 weeks at this point.

"Sorry Kev. I didn't mean to keep you up." Nick quickly scrambled to turn down the volume on the game boy he was playing. They'd been working like crazy and the last thing he wanted was to get Kevin mad and wake up the whole bus. Kevin was famous for his fits of rage, no one spared his wrath.

"No. That's not why I came in here," Kevin sat down on the couch beside the blonde. Within seconds, Nick's game console was on the floor and he'd curled up in a ball against Kevin's side. Instinctively, Kevin wrapped his arms around Nick's shoulder, letting him snuggle up beside him. "I just ....Nick..."

"What's wrong Kev? Did I mess up tonight?" Nick's eyes were so blue and he was chewing on his lower lip nervously. Kevin simply shook his head and smiled at the younger man. For as talented as Nick was, he was equally as frightened of messing things up. Of being sent home. The reason for that could have been Jane's warning as they were leaving the states, telling him that he'd better not manage to screw things up and get himself kicked out of the group. Because if they sent him home, he wouldn't have a home to be sent to. Kevin never could understand the Carter parents. He couldn't even fathom his own parents talking to him like that and gave Nick a lot of credit that he wasn't more dysfunctional than he was.

"Nah. You were great tonight Nicky. You're going to be a star." Kevin gently ran his fingers through Nick's soft blonde hair. Under the soft touch, Nick let his eyes flutter shut and relax completely in Kevin's embrace.

"We're gonna to be stars Kev. Huge stars."

"Nick. I just need you to know. If you ever need to talk about something...anything, you have to know you can come to me." Kevin paused and lifted Nick's face so that they were looking into each other's eyes. "Don't ever be embarrassed to tell me or ask me anything. I know that I'm always telling you what an annoying little shit you are," Kevin paused as they both chuckled and Nick blushed. "But no matter how much you think you'll annoy me, don't be afraid."

"Are you sure?" Nick's voice was soft and his brow furrowed. "I mean..."

"Anything Nicky. I'm always going to be here for you. You're my little brother and I want to take care of you." 'Someone needs to', he thought to himself silently. Nick nodded his head and began to fall asleep, Kevin's hand still stroking his hair softly.

Kevin thought that Nick would have ignored the offer. That that one evening on a bus in the middle of nowhere would have been the only time they would be like that, but he was wrong. Instead of curling up in his bunk, homesick and feeling alone which was what Nick had been doing on nights previous, Nick would now often creep into Kevin's bunk and softly ask if he could sleep in there. It was on those nights that the two of them would talk. Discuss their dreams, their hopes and their fears. Nick would wrap his gangly body around Kevin's and tell him things that he couldn't tell anyone else for fear of ridicule. Things that even his parents or best friends didn't know.

It was during those nights that Kevin realized that the feelings that were growing for this young man were not typical. They had all gotten extremely close and there was a bond, a brotherhood. And from that bond a love

was developing. But the love that he was feeling for Howie and AJ, and even Brian was different to that he had for Nick. He saw Nick's dedication to the group, the love and strength that he possessed. It had little to do with how beautiful Nick was physically and everything to do with how beautiful he was inside. Kevin wasn't sure what was happening, but he did know that his life was never going to be the same ever again.