Title:Against The Odds

Author:Jules

Parts: 16

Sequel:To Taking Chances

First Story Can Be Found At: http://boyslash.just-in-dreams.com/jules.html

Pairing:TimberNick

Rating:NC-17

Feedback:Would be appreciated - mailto:slash_me_baby@yahoo.com

Warning:Slash warning. Bigroupal warning.

Disclaimer:This one is about as true as the first part ...so you figure it out!!

Notes: Like this story? Want to read more of my fics? Join my very own yahoogroup dedicated solely to my fiction by sending a blank email to mailto:goddess_slashing_gods-subscribe@yahoogroups.comor visit http://groups.yahoo.com/group/goddess_slashing_gods/

Against The Odds
by Jules

Chapter 1

~Nick~

You think that things are so easy once everything is figured out. Like, you tell that person you've been in love with forever, that you like them and want to be with them, not having any clue as to how they are going to react. You bear your heart, your soul to them and find out that they've felt the same way that you have, for just as long. Life is great, God is good and you know that you're going to be happier than you ever thought. But then it's not like that and you have no idea why. I mean, it should be, but it's not. It's awkward and strange and just ...not bliss.

It's where I am right now and I'm so fucking scared. When I pictured how things would be after I told Justin how much I wanted him, how hard I've been crushing on him, I thought it would be awesome. The two of us together, happy, in love and everything I'd ever wanted in a relationship would be there for me. For us. Honestly? It's nothing like that. The silences are awkward and we don't know where to go from there. I can see it in how he looks at me, that he's always waiting for something. What it is, I have no idea. But it's there. The discomfort. I think we were more relaxed with each other before, which says a lot since we barely even acknowledged one another then. We were so scared around each other before, but at least we knew where we stood.

Or we thought we knew where we stood. I thought I was alone in my attraction to him. I thought he was straight where I'm clearly not. I thought that he would find me wanting him, being in love with him absolutely disgusting. So I played things off cool, not realizing that he was doing the same thing. I think about all the time that we wasted and it blows my mind. So with all that said, isn't it just natural that now we've got everything cleared up, that we're both bent and fucking nuts about each other, that we be happy? Shouldn't that be the way?

Yes!

Is it?

Hell no.

It's been about a week since that night at the club where we ran into Justin and Lance. Where I invited them up to hang with me and my friends, ultimately getting them back to my house where Justin and I finally grew some balls and did something about our feelings. It's been one of the most confusing and frustrating weeks of my life. This beats even coming to grips with my sexuality and all the shit that followed after that. I just wish I knew what the problem is and why there even is a problem.

That night, as we'd both decided that we weren't going to take it any further than kissing and sleeping, we also vowed that we were going to talk. Discuss everything when we weren't drunk and could fully process the situation. And I believe we both fully intended on talking about it. About us. But it never happened. Things came up and we just put the discussion off. That morning, we had breakfast and just hung out, the four of us.

Eventually, Beth had to leave and she took Lance with her. I wanted Justin to hang around so when we had a few seconds alone I asked him to stay. Told him I'd drive him back when he wanted to go.

Eventually it was just the two of us, and we went into the den to watch some TV and talk. It felt so good to lay there on the couch with him curled around me, our bodies completely entwined. Well, to be honest, one thing led to another and we ended up just kissing and touching one another for hours. Not talking about what we both knew we needed to talk about. I can't even describe how good it feels to be in his arms, to have him in my arms. It's just fucking amazing. The sounds he makes when I nibble on his lips, when my hand sneaks under his shirt and I stroke his back or stomach, tracing the muscles there. Whenever I tried to pull away and get serious about what was happening, he would make a noise or move something and a jolt of electricity would flow through my body. I couldn't get close enough to him, couldn't get enough of him.

"We need to talk." He'd moaned as the kiss broke at one point.

"I know baby.." I had responded through a lidded gaze. As soon as our eyes met, his mouth was on mine again, his tongue thrusting into my mouth thus putting the talk off for another day.

I drove him home the next day (Monday at this point) and I think that was when the distance was created. The uncomfortable silences and awkward glances. We hadn't really talked about anything, and we're both where we started, unsure of where we stood. Or stand really because it's Friday and still things are like they were then.

Has he told anyone? Does he want to? Is this just something casual to pass the time? Is he interested in a relationship? I have all these questions and don't know how to bring them up. I don't want to scare him off, but then I need to know what we're doing here. I don't do flings. One night stands. I am not about playing with someone until I find what I really want. When I hook up with someone, it's serious. It's something that I know I want to work on. And Justin is someone I want to be with. I truly believe that he's the same way, but I can't be sure. We never did talk about Britney or his fucked up relationship with her. Since Saturday, I've found out stuff I hadn't known about them, but it's something I think I should have heard from Justin. Something we should have discussed together and figured out. But then again, I could be blowing this out of proportion. Could be reading more into Saturday night than I should be. I mean, just because he's had a crush on me for years, doesn't mean that he's talking relationship. I mean, fuck. There are guys out there I've had crushes on but just wanted to fuck. Not that I would... Okay, I probably would but that's the fantasy. The dream. How do I know that Justin's not feeling that way for me. That I'm just someone he wanted to try out before deciding that I'm just not his type.

This is killing me. I left him a message about an hour ago and haven't heard back from him. I want to call again, but don't want to seem all obsessed. He's probably out doing something, not sitting at home fucking waiting like a pussy for someone to call. Like me.

I need to go for a swim, clear my mind. I'm probably freaking out for nothing, reading too much into things. Odds are that everything's okay, that I'm just making a bigger deal of things than I need to be. I just wish I knew where he was at, mentally and emotionally. Just so I know if we're on the same page or not.