Title:Dirty Little Secret

Author:Jules

Part:1/1

Pairing: Nick/JC

Rating:ummmm I guess R

Feedback:If you wouldn't mind... - mailto:slash_me_baby@yahoo.com

Disclaimer:This is all fiction made up for entertainment purposes. I'm not making any assumptions on anything.

Warning:Bigroupal warning. Slash warning.

Dirty Little Secret
by Jules

JC Chasez was the last person Nick had expected to run into. Especially in an obscure recording studio on the farther side of LA. And Nick Carter was the last person JC expected to walk into the studio that he was certain that no one except for him and a few other aspiring artists knew about. But as they stood face to face, staring into each other's eyes, shock clearly displayed in their depths, they realized that life wasn't playing tricks on them and they were both there. Gawking stupidly at one another. Too shocked to say anything. Well that was until JC opened his mouth and, 'what the fuck are you doing here Carter?' came out.

Nick was instantly on the defensive, a wall put up behind his clear blue eyes. "I came to bake a cake Chasez. What the hell do you think I'm doing here?"Nick stormed past him shaking his head in disbelief. He had been about to say something corny like, 'fancy meeting you here' or 'I thought I was the only one who knew about this studio', but JC's instant hostility killed that thought before he'd had a chance to say anything.

JC closed his eyes, his pulse racing. He hadn't meant to be so rude, but he hadn't figured anyone would stumble upon him in a recording studio. Especially when he was supposed to be off doing something else... anything else. Just not recording. Alone. "No need to be a prick about it Nick. I just didn't expect to see you slumming it in these parts of LA. Especially when your CD was already released."

Nick chuckled, rolling his eyes. "Like you fucking care. I'm here to do a few tracks for B sides."It was then that Nick realized where he was and who he was talking to. "Wait a second. What are YOU doing here? In a recording studio in the middle of nowhere? Where no one would ever think to find you?"His lips curved into a smirk and he crossed his arms over his chest. When he saw the panic in JC's eyes he allowed a chuckle. It appeared that Joshua had something he was hiding.

"None of your fucking business."

"You know, I can just ask a few questions and find out for myself JC. So either you tell me or I do some asking..."Nick let his sentence run off, allowing for JC to finish the rest in his head. He saw a look of contemplation cross JC's face and then their eyes met, daggers being shot in his direction. Nick knew that whatever the story was, it was definitely good.

"Fuck you Carter. You're suck a prick you know."

"That's been established Chasez. Now ...what are you doing here in a recording studio. Alone. Without the rest of NSYNC? Or a better question yet, do THEY know you're here?"The expression he was met with was all the answer that Nick needed. He just wanted to hear the other man say it.

JC sighed and rubbed his forehead with his hand. "Shit. Fine. I'm working on my own solo CD."He raised his eyes slowly, not wanting to see the expression on the blonde's face. Knowing what he would find there. Just as he had expected, he was met with a cocky smirk and amused eyes. "Are you happy now?"It was as if JC had witnessed the exact second that Nick processed what he had said, the smile faltering and his jaw dropping slightly.

Nick had expected that answer, but didn't actually think that was the reason why he was there. And judging from the fear hiding behind the annoyance, the other guys didn't know that JC was doing this. The smile once again found it's way to his lips and Nick's stomach fluttered. "And they don't know."

"No they don't."JC's voice dropped and he hated what he was just about to do. But he had no other choice. "And I would really appreciate it if we could ....well you know ...keep it between us."There was a lump in his

Nick laughed, clearly surprising JC as the older man jumped in reaction. He didn't know where the laugh come from, but suddenly he couldn't stop. The harder he laughed, the more animosity he could see in JC's eyes, the tighter his lips got. Wiping his eyes and grabbing his sides, Nick got his laughter under control.

"What's so funny Carter?"

"I don't know. I mean, I don't know what's funnier, the fact that you think I'm actually going to tell people that I ran into you and talked to you long enough to find out that you are secretly recording a solo CD. OR, and this is a big or Chasez, or the fact that you think people actually care that you're recording a solo CD. THAT is what is so funny."

JC's eyes narrowed and he fought against the urge to reach over and deck Nick. He got a visual of the look on the blonde's face as his fist connected with his jaw and felt a smile tug at the corners of his lips. "Well fuck you too Carter. It's not like we can all record a two bit, half assed attempt at rock music, or whatever it was that you classified your CD as. Perhaps you're just a bit bitter because you should have stuck with singing cheesy pop songs to 12 year old girls who don't know any better. But then again, I don't know what was going through your head when you tried to go solo. Not that there's much of anything going on up there."

Nick's smile was gone instantly and they were left glaring at one another, feeling nothing short of complete hatred for the other man. "So I'm going to ask you one more time. Please don't fucking tell anyone that you saw me here and what I was doing. I wanted to keep it on the down low as long as possible. Of course, you came and fucked it up but it's nothing I can change now."

Nick felt his whole body tense and he stretched his neck from side to side. His eyes wandered to the wall behind JC, his expression not changing. "Don't worry Chasez. I'll keep your dirty little secret. Not that anyone cares anyways."

As much as he hated it, JC felt a tremor of relief spread through his body and he took a deep breath. Without saying another word, he spun on his heel and walked in the opposite direction towards the studio he had been working in for the past month and a half. He barely heard Nick calling behind him.

"You can at least say thank you pretty boy."

"Fuck you Carter."JC mumbled, slamming the door behind him. This was definitely not one of his better days.

*********

It wasn't until much later that night that Nick fully registered what JC had said to him. About him. And he felt his blood boil again. It wasn't as if he'd expected his CD to be a masterpiece, but it was better than the shit the older man had been saying about it. It wasn't a two bit attempt at rock, and he was better than singing love songs to fucking 12 year olds. Slamming his fist into the cabinet he was searching for cereal in, Nick let out a loud scream.

"Fucking Chasez. Thinks he's so god damned wonderful because he's all artsy and shit."Grabbing his bowl and spoon, Nick continued into the living room thinking nasty thoughts about their interaction that day. He refused to let himself think about how the light had reflected off of JC's hair, making it shine beautifully. Or how his cheekbones were perfectly defined, leading to a long graceful neck that looked perfect for licking and sucking. He had been prepared to be nice to the older man, but as soon as he was met with the attitude, his defenses went up and he figured that JC was just like the others. Well the others except for Joey. Joey had never really done or said anything cruel or biting to Nick, so he didn't mind him all too much. And up until this afternoon, JC had been pretty cool to Nick as well. But apparently that had been just a façade since clearly he too disliked Nick.

It was a shame, because really Nick respected JC's musical talents. How he could write the most inspiring music to beautiful lyrics. A skill that Nick was working on but still hadn't perfected quite yet. Now though, now all Nick could think about was the biting remarks and the contempt that the other man had looked at him with. And if JC wanted a fight, that's what he'd get.

******

Across town, JC was still fuming from his run in with the youngest Backstreet Boy. If he really thought about it, JC knew that the argument was his fault. Nick had looked genuinely confused at his initial hostility and that's when his demeanor changed and he moved to the defensive side of things. And JC didn't blame him, because he would have reacted the same way. But he hadn't had to be so cruel about it. What got him the most upset was the laughter and comments surrounding his CD. He knew that he wasn't Justin and couldn't coast through a solo deal like he had. Justin had everything practically handed to him from the minute he could speak enough words to ask for it. Everything came easy to him and as much as JC wished the same were true for him, it wasn't. He didn't have the connections that Justin did, the talent that Justin did, and in all honesty, he didn't have the sex appeal. And no matter what, out of the group, Justin was the golden boy,

and the rest of them, no matter how hard they tried to deny it, they were just the back up singers. The 'supporting' vocals to Justin's greatness.

It wasn't as if he was completely ugly, he knew he wasn't. But it was more than that, and JC knew deep down that he didn't have it like Justin did. Hell, he didn't even have it like Nick did and that's why he had taken what the blonde had said to heart. For as much shit as Nick got for his weight and appearance, he was beautiful. Even JC couldn't deny that and he noticed it a lot more than he probably should have. For Nick to not want to talk to him was one thing, but to be embarrassed to have a conversation was a whole other issue and for Nick to not even want to admit to talking to him was a slap in the face. Not to mention him saying that no one would care if he recorded a CD. That was what pissed him off the most and caused him to lash out at Nick's record. He was thankful that Nick hadn't caught on to the fact that he knew what his CD sounded like. He would have had to listen to it to know what the music sounded like, and he wasn't sure how he was going to explain that yes, he had gone out and bought Now or Never.

Nick's laugher was ringing in his ears, reminding him of the hurtful words and scorn that he had been met with that afternoon, and as the night went by, JC got more and more angry. He was thankful that Nick had agreed to keep his recording a secret, and somewhere inside he knew that the blonde would keep his word. But not thankful enough to put up with any shit that he might find thrown his way. If Nick Carter wanted a fight, a fight he would get.

*******

Surprisingly enough, they didn't run into each other for a few weeks after their initial meeting. It seemed that when they hadn't wanted to see one another, they did, and now that they were both itching to meet up again, they didn't. Neither could explain why the sudden interest to see someone they hated had surfaced, but both told themselves that it was just to make it clear that they didn't like each other. To inform the other that they hadn't been thinking about what they'd said that day a few weeks earlier, even when in fact, that's exactly what they had been doing. Replaying the conversation over and over again.

The next time they did meet up was at a club in downtown LA. Neither had known the other was still in town and as their eyes met in the smoky VIP section, both men felt a flutter in their stomach. Simultaneously they told themselves that it wasn't anything except for contempt. Contempt and anger for the other man. That's what the butterflies were for. Nothing else.

Neither man were *really* fooling themselves, but they dared not think about it too much.

"I thought maybe you'd gone by now."JC said coolly, pretending not to care either way. "I mean, it's not like you live here or anything."

"Sticking around with AC for a bit. Relaxing. Why? You saying you care or something?"There was a hint of annoyance in his voice and Nick was proud of the fact that he didn't let off how affected he was by the other man.

"Not the way you think I do. The faster you're gone, the faster I can stop worrying that I'm going to see you everywhere I go. Just the thought of running into you makes me want to never leave my house."JC realized how deep his dig had hit by the way Nick's eyes flared, the heat that generated between them.

"Yeah. Well I guess then I'm doing all of LA a service then."They both stopped at that, simply glaring at one another.

"You know what? I don't need to fucking take this. Not from anyone, especially you."JC couldn't help the bitterness that accompanied his last sentence, nearly spitting it out at the younger man. He was shocked when he felt a hand grip his arm tightly, turning him back around.

"What's that supposed to mean? Not from me?"

"Just what I said Nick. I don't need to take this shit from you. You hate me, fine. You want to be a fucking prick because you're this pretty boy pop star that everyone loves and you think that no one will question it. That they're all kissing your ass so much that they don't' realize what an asshole you are. Fine. You keep thinking that, but I'm not everyone else, and you don't impress me."

"I never fucking said I was trying to impress you. And you're one to talk. You think you're better than me."It was a statement, not a question. Nick knew how stupid people thought he was and as much as it upset him, it pissed him off just as much. "You think you're smarter ...well fuck you and your hypocracy Joshua."He'd had enough. The longer he stayed and fought with him, the more upset Nick was going to get and he would end up saying and doing something he would regret later. So the best thing for him to do was to leave. "I'm out of here."

He didn't mean out of the club, just out of the situation, and with that, Nick stormed off down the stairs and up to the bar, ordering two shots of something strong. Both doubles. He threw them back, barely noticing the

burn down his throat, as it was nothing compared to the burn under his skin. Where JC had seemed to situate himself quite comfortably. Damn he hated that man. Almost as much as he wanted him. Shocked by his mind's voice, Nick ordered a few more shots, figuring that he needed a bit more alcohol to quiet that voice. That would definitely get him into trouble that he so didn't need right now.

JC watched Nick storm off with silent surprise, not expecting THAT reaction from the blonde. He'd heard of Nick's temper and figured that he would have stayed to continue the argument, throwing a few punches before he left. Clearly, this was a new Nick. Mixed in with the anger and resentment, laid unspoken lust and desire and JC shook his head trying to clear his head. There was just something about Nick that got his blood boiling and he ended up saying things that he knew weren't true, but still he said them. It was as if he had to do something, anything to get the excess energy out of his system and lashing out was the only way he could cope. Nick elicited such a wide range of emotions in him, that all he could do was ride them out, unable to control any of them. Watching Nick throw back a few shots reminded JC that he needed a few drinks to settle his nerves as well. "Fuck him."JC muttered to himself, trying not to think about doing just that. Fucking Nick Carter.

The better part of an hour, and dozen drinks found them both on the dance floor, staying respectively far away from the other. Nick was grinding up on some blonde, where JC was dancing seductively with a red head, both painfully aware of the others' presence on the floor. Nick had been on the dance floor first and the second JC was in his sight, that was all he could focus on. He knew that the brunette hadn't noticed him dancing, because the moment that JC saw him, a look of shock and lust had flashed in his eyes. Well that was until JC remembered that they hated each other and a look of contempt replaced it.

And there they were, both dancing with nameless girls, watching each other intensely, eyes never wavering. JC tried not to drool over the sight of Nick's broad chest and his muscular arms, accented perfectly by the tight shirt he was wearing. And he didn't notice the way Nick's jeans were tailored to fit him snugly, showing his perfect ass in the dim lights of the club.

On the other side of the room, Nick forced himself to stop watching the way JC's hips would move seductively against the girl's, thrusting just enough to make her grin and hold on tightly. He wouldn't allow his eyes to linger on the way JC's hair stuck to his neck and cheeks, the sweat only giving his skin a healthier glow making Nick wish that it was him making the older man that hot. And the way JC would sometimes close his eyes, losing himself in the music while his lower lip would get caught between his teeth. Nick groaned and fought to concentrate harder on the girl in front of him, kissing her passionately to erase the image of JC in his mind.

The moment he saw Nick lean in to kiss the girl in his arms, JC growled and did the same with the woman he was dancing with, wanting to show Nick that he wasn't the only one that could score. And so it continued, both keeping one eye on the other, while trying desperately to win some predetermined challenge that neither were too sure what the rules nor the stakes were. That was enough for both men, as they turned to focus their attention to the women in their arms, and whispered invitations to accompany them home.

Nick blamed JC the next morning when he woke up with a splitting headache and a warm body clutching him in a death grip. If it hadn't have been for the older man, he never would have drank that much and sure as hell wouldn't have brought ...whatever her name was home. Sitting up, he grumbled as the blonde beside him woke up, watching him with love filled eyes. "You have to leave."He muttered, wincing at the sound of his voice.

"Why Nicky? I thought we had a good time last night."He turned to see the pout on her lips and cursed himself for putting himself in this situation. For JC forcing him into this situation.

"Because I have shit to do and you can't stay here. Last night was ..."he let his eyes roam over her still nude body and stood up, turning his back on her. "...last night. Get dressed and I"ll call you a cab."

She was out by the end of the hour and Nick found himself in the shower, still cursing JC and whatever hold it was that he had over him. He was midway through the second piece of dry toast and his first cup of tea when he gave up on trying to eat anything substantial. Instead, he popped 3 Advil and made a phone call. Once the desired information was handed over to him, Nick grabbed his car keys, wallet and headed out the door. Vowing to set things right again.

JC stretched and felt the bed beside him, praying that his hand didn't come into contact with anything solid. With a sigh of relief he felt nothing but cool sheets and settled into his blankets farther. He'd almost brought the red head home with him but at the last minute decided that it wasn't anything he wanted to have to deal with in the morning. Well that, and the fact that she threw up halfway to the car and nearly passed out. At that point, he'd gone to get her friends and they'd taken her home, embarrassed at her display. No matter how bad he felt this morning, and he felt like shit, he was sure that she was feeling ten times worse.

Suddenly his mind drifted to Nick and everything that had gone on between them the night before. He wasn't all together too sure when things had changed, but they had gone from pure animosity to raw lust. He could feel it, and he knew that no matter how much Nick denied it, he felt it too. There was just something in

the air between them that had made him want the blonde like nothing he'd ever known before. But just as he was leaving, Nick had flashed him a knowing grin and pointed towards the blonde he was leaving with, indicating what he was going to be doing when he got home. Who he was going to be doing. And damn if JC hadn't felt at least a hint of jealousy. "Fucking Carter."He groaned into his pillow, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep and forget the past few weeks. Unfortunately, a ringing doorbell was preventing that from happening.

By the time he'd reached his front door, the door bell had rung about 4 times. Whoever it was was clearly impatient. "Shit. Give a guy time to get out of fucking bed..."He barked as he opened the door. The sentence died on his lips at the sight of Nick Carter, on his porch.

"No need to scream Chasez. I'm not fucking deaf."Nick winced, holding a hand to his head. The headache had lessened but not gone away, the half a bottle of rye he'd consumed the night before a violent reminder of why he shouldn't drink. Once the world stopped spinning, Nick opened his eyes to look at JC, both men caught in the moment.

"Wh...what are you doing here?"The fact that he was only wearing a pair of boxers painfully noticeable to JC as Nick's eyes wandered his wiry frame.

"Do you always answer your door half naked?"Nick couldn't help the grin and the way his stomach danced at seeing JC so ....not dressed.

"Fuck..."JC moved to slam the door, frustrated as Nick's foot prevented it from closing.

"I'm sorry. Fuck... Please JC. I'm sorry."Nick acted fast, following the other man into his house. He had no idea why he was there, he just had to see him. Find out what the fuck was wrong with him. He stopped when JC turned around, an exhausted look on his face.

"Why are you here Nick?"

"To tell you that I hope you're happy."

"Why would I be happy? You're here at ..."JC checked his watch, "...9 in the fucking morning on a Saturday. I'm way too hung over to be dealing with your shit and some girl puked all over me last night. Why in the fucking hell would I be happy?"

"Because you win. You win. Thanks to you I woke up this morning feeling worse than I think I ever have in my life. Found some blonde, who I'm still not sure if her name was Mandy, Candy or Sandy, and even that might be way off, in my bed latched onto me like a fucking life line. And I phoned everyone I could possibly think of just to find out where you live so I could come over here and see you. Why? I have no idea, but as I was trying not to throw up my toast and tea, I had this uncontrollable need to see you. So here I am. "

JC stood in his foyer with eyes wide and unblinking, jaw nearly on the floor. Nick's outburst was the LAST thing he was expecting. "Huh?"

"Yeah. Who would have fucking guessed it? Sure as hell not me. And it's all your fault!"

That caught JC's attention and he froze. "How is it my fault? WHY is it my fault?"

Nick ran a shaky hand through his hair and he bit his lip nervously. His mind was all in a jumble and the dull throb in his head wasn't helping. He knew that he was laying himself out on the line here but now that he'd started, he couldn't stop himself.

"Because .... You made me want you. All last night ...fuck, since that day we saw each other in the studio, I haven't been able to get you out of my head. Your face is all I see and your voice is all I hear. I don't' know why you hate me so much and ..."

"Nick.. come in."JC led him through the house into the kitchen where he started to brew a pot of coffee. If they were going to have this conversation, he was going to need caffeine. "I'm sorry."

Nick had no idea why JC was apologizing and felt his stomach drop. This wasn't going as he had expected it to.

"I don't' hate you. I just ... I was so fucking shocked to see you that day in the studio and I panicked. I didn't mean to be such an ass but ...."

Hope sparked in Nick's eyes and he felt his hands start to tremble. "What?"

"It's just that no one thinks that I can do this. No one thinks I have the power to do my own CD, just me and I wanted to do it on my own. No hype in case it didn't work and ...when I saw you I could just hear what

everyone would say. So I was a little defensive and attacked you. I'm sorry. But I don't hate you."

JC poured them both a cup of coffee and sat down at the table beside him, both men staring at one another nervously. He didn't fail to notice the relief in Nick's eyes and the way he smiled shyly. "You don't?"

"No."

"Then why...."

"I don't know. You said some things.. I said some things and I guess.... I just let my pride affect how I was acting. How I was reacting to you."

"I didn't mean any of what I said."Nick wanted it clarified, that JC knew that everything he had said was just talk. It was a long shot that JC felt what he felt, but he couldn't go any longer without telling him how he felt. How he *really* felt. He saw how stormy JC's eyes were and wondered what that meant, if anything. "I just want you to know...."

"It was good. Better than good actually. Fucking amazing."JC blurted out, blushing when Nick stopped talking to look at him.

"What?"

"Your CD. It was amazing Nick. You should be really proud."Now they were both blushing and neither would look the other in the eye.

"Thank you."

"Was that what you came here to say? That you didn't mean what you'd said and that it was my fault that you got drunk and took home some groupie?"JC's voice was soft and teasing.

"And that ...I ...Fuck this is harder than I thought it would be."Nick took a big gulp of his coffee and felt the haze lift from his mind. It was then that he allowed himself to actually look at JC and see how beautiful he was. "I'm not saying that I love you, because I don't know you well enough to say that much. But damn JC, I wouldn't mind seeing if I could. Love you I mean. I want to get to know you well enough so that it becomes a distinct possibility..."

JC choked on his coffee, unable to believe he'd just heard what he thought he'd heard. Nick Carter was interested in him? This had to be a joke. "Is this a joke?"

"Nah. Just something I've thought for a long time. But you usually make me so nervous that I can't say much of anything and I end up going home and wishing I could tell you how I feel."

It was then that JC took a good look at Nick and saw the honesty in his face, the hope in his eyes and he felt his stomach flip a few times. It was everything he hadn't let himself believe could happen. Everything he wanted but didn't dare to speak. And as he smiled, he reached his hand across the table to softly touch Nick's, watching the blonde's eyes light up and cheeks turn pink.

"I guess, I just wanted to tellyou that."Nick knew he was grinning like a mad man, but he didn't care because JC was smiling just as wide.

"Does anyone else know?"JC asked as he moved his chair closer to Nick's. He leaned in and they were sitting a few inches apart. Both men were tense with anticipation. Nick shook his head, their eyes locked in an intense stare.

"No. Just you."

"Good."With that, JC leaned in the remainder of the distance between them and fit his lips over Nicks', kissing him tenderly. It was soft and sweet, what they'd both been waiting for for what seemed like ever. And as quick as it had happened, since just the night before they'd been at each other's throats, it felt like it had taken them forever to get here. Weeks of anticipating, wanting, and possibly even longer than that. It felt as though they had been waiting for this forever and just realized how it was that they could get here. Now. "So.."he whispered as they pulled away, Nick's hands on his cheeks. "Does this mean it's like ...a secret?"

Blue eyes met blue and they both giggled, rubbing their noses together playfully. "I guess so."Nick placed a few soft kisses on JC's lips before pulling away again. "Can I trust you to keep it? My secret I mean!

"Yeah Nicky. I'll keep your dirty little secret."JC giggled, causing Nick to giggle as well.

Finis