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Title: Everything You Need
Author: Jules
Parts: 13
Series:  Sequel to As Fate Would Have It
Pairing: TimberNick (with a side of Basez)
Rating: NC 17
Disclaimer: Fiction for the purpose of entertainment. Not to be taken literally or as actual truth.
Warning: Slash warning. AU Warning
Notes: Thanks to Danielle for the beta, you rock girl!   Thanks to Rhonda, Kris, Missy, Di, Kat and Danielle for keeping my sanity this past month.  Without you girls, this story would not have been written.

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13

Chapter 1
Tuesday - Day 1

He could feel the butterflies starting to get restless in his stomach. Up until that very minute he hadn't been nervous about returning home, but now that he was there, sitting in the back seat of the airport taxi it was becoming increasingly real. Justin leaned his forehead on the cool window and watched the scenery pass him by. Familiar streets that he hadn't paid witness to in almost six months, areas of town that he had once visited on a daily basis had become almost foreign to him in his absence. Justin was finally home and it hadn't been until he had seen the CN Tower live and in person that he realized how much he had missed it.

Technically he wasn't supposed to be home for a few more days. Friday to be exact, but he had gotten restless and decided that there was nothing keeping him from returning home early. No reservations to make at a hotel, no schedule to keep, and truthfully, he was going crazy alone in Los Angeles. Within five minutes of his loneliness Justin had phoned Nick's travel agent and booked a flight for earlier in the week and he was going to come back on Tuesday. He hadn't told anyone he was coming in earlier, figuring that it would be better as a surprise. Here he was, sitting anxiously in the back seat of the taxi as it drove him to his home. One of them anyways. After the festival had ended a year prior, Nick had indeed bought a condo, just outside of Yorkville. Justin had remained living in his apartment with Erik until it was time for Nick to leave for New York to start filming his new movie. At that time, they decided that since most of Justin's things were already there, he may as well just move in officially. When Nick had finished filming, instead of going straight to LA, he came up to spend time with Justin. It was during that time they realized that it was pointless trying to ignore the obvious. Nick didn't want to live without Justin, and Justin didn't want to live without Nick. Things were going to have to be altered slightly in regards to their living situations.

After much convincing, Justin agreed to take a year off and just relax. He had never really been given the opportunity to just do nothing and be free. At first he hadn't wanted to rely on Nick that way, living off of him and not pulling his own weight, but Nick had assured him that it wasn't a problem. He had more than enough money for Justin to be able to take some time off and decide what he really wanted to do with his life. With a long, tearful good bye to everyone that had meant everything to him, Justin agreed to go with Nick to Los Angeles and spend some time down there. Nick's family wanted to meet him and it had been longer than usual since Nick had been home. After working for almost two years straight, Nick had decided to take a much overdue break. What had been intended to be a short vacation had rolled into more as that had been six months ago. Justin hadn't expected to be gone for quite that long, and it was the longest Nick had gone without working since he'd done his first movie almost seven years earlier. It was just the past week that Nick had gone back to work, signing a contract to star in a new movie that would begin filming the week after the festival was finished.

Justin hadn't expected to be away so long without at least a visit home, but it just seemed that things were so much different in Los Angeles than they were in Toronto. There was always something to do down there, an event to attend or a trip to take. Days turned into weeks, which turned into months and six had passed by without him seeing anyone back home. Phone calls had been made, but they were different than being able to take the people he loved most into his arms and holding them close to him, seeing them when they spoke or just being able to sit with them and relax. It wasn't until Nick had gone to New York for a few days with his personal assistant Chris to go over the details of filming that Justin realized how much he missed home. He loved Nick more than life itself, and had been happier than he ever thought possible the past year, but it couldn't take the place of his friends and family.

"Mr Timberlake, we're here." The driver's voice startled Justin out of his reverie and he grinned, looking up at the beautiful building. Justin paid the driver before stepping out and throwing his duffle bag over his shoulder. The concierge of the building had seen him through the window and a bellhop met him at the front doors with a cart to place his other bags on. Nick had definitely found a posh building to buy his condo in, services including not only the concierge but a bellhop to assist residents up to their rooms if the need be.

Within ten minutes he was in their living room, opening up windows and curtains as to air the place out. While they'd been gone he'd asked AJ and JC to take care of the place, which by the looks of it they had been doing quite well. No dust had collected and except for it being slightly muggy inside, the place was perfect. It took only a few minutes to unpack his clothes and set everything away before he was in the kitchen taking stock of what they had in the cupboards. Although Nick would be leaving the day after the festival concluded to fly out for filming, Justin had decided to stay in Toronto a little longer. Once he had everything the way he wanted it, Justin checked the clock to see that it was just after six p.m. He was starved and knew exactly what he wanted to do.

When Lance and Josh had hooked up during the festival Justin hadn't been surprised. The two were exactly what the other was looking for and it was a casual affair. What had surprised him was that it had continued after the festival was over. With all things considering, Justin had expected the romance to fizzle out and both men to move on, but that hadn't been the case. Lance had flown in a few times afterwards to visit Josh, and had even invited Josh to premieres and parties with him in New York and Los Angeles, each time all expenses paid. Although they both claimed that it was still just casual and not serious, Justin could see differently. It took Lance about seven months and a suggestion from Nick that if he was going to be visiting Toronto so often, perhaps he should get his own place and realize that he and Josh had gone past casual to exclusively dating. Nick knew of a good building to buy a condo and could give him a few numbers. Within the week a three bedroom condo, a few floors up from Nick and Justin was purchased and Lance had taken a weekend to go up and move in. All new furniture was bought and the place was beautiful a touch of both Josh and Lance evident in the decor. One night while talking, Lance had suggested to Josh that he move in with him since they both knew that he would be spending time there whenever Lance was in town, to which AJ followed soon after. Lance was out of town for weeks and months at a time, so AJ living with Josh would be good company, plus considerably cheaper then where he was living at the time. The year had seen many changes that no one could have predicted.

Justin's lips were curled into a grin that he knew wouldn't be leaving any time soon. After taking a quick shower and changing into fresh clothes, Justin grabbed his wallet and keys, and headed up the elevator to the sixteenth floor. The butterflies returned for a few seconds before he knocked on the door, thankful that he could faintly hear music coming from inside, someone was home. He'd been afraid that in not letting them know he was coming home, no one would be around. "Just a second." Justin heard Josh's voice call from the door and a pitter patter of puppy feet could be heard over the hardwood floors. Justin let out a nervous giggle as the door opened.

There was silence except for the dogs nipping at his feet, Josh's eyes open wide with surprise. "Hey, you busy?"

"Holy fuck!" Josh exclaimed, his own lips turning into a wide grin. Justin took in his friend's appearance for a few seconds noting that his hair had gotten longer and was now streaked with blonde highlights. He was still as thin as he'd been the last time he'd seen him but his muscles were more defined and he looked happier than Justin had ever seen him. "You said Friday! Lance said Friday!" Josh grabbed a hold of Justin's hoodie and pulled him inside and into his arms for a tight hug. "What are you doing here so early?"

Justin laughed and hugged the older man back. "I know, we were supposed to fly in Friday, but I got bored. Nick's been gone since Saturday and I've been going crazy at home alone. So I put the dogs in the Kennel that Nick uses and he's going to bring them when he comes. I hate traveling with them and he'll kill me if I do anything to them. So yeah, put the dogs away, booked a flight and flew in. I missed you guys and I know that once he and Lance gets here we'll be all too busy for anything else, so I just wanted some us time. Just me and you guys."

"Shit yeah. That's fucking awesome J. Does Aje know you're here?"

Justin shook his head. "Nah, I didn't tell anyone. I wanted to surprise you." Justin leaned down to pick up one of the dogs that had been biting at his ankles, smiling into the familiar face. He'd been there the day that AJ had gone to buy his dogs and they were practically his babies too. He gave the animal a few puppy kisses, enjoying the attention the dog was giving him.

"Mission accomplished kid." Josh pulled Justin in for a hug around the excited puppy and clapped him on the back. "It's so good to see you. You look good."

"I know. Sorry I couldn't make it to Lance's party last month. I was all set to go and then I was so sick..."

Josh nodded and smiled sympathetically. "I know. Nick was saying that you'd caught something from his sister or something. It was the flu from hell multiplied by like a million?" Justin nodded and Josh continued. "Even he wasn't going to come but he knew how important it was to Lance."

"Yeah, and so his mom came over and took care of me while Nick was out. It was awful and then by the time I was feeling better, you'd already come back." They sat at the bar in the kitchen talking until Justin's stomach growled loudly. He remembered that he'd been hungry and they both laughed. "So where is Aje?"

"Work. He's covering for Joe tonight. He has a meeting with Briana's teacher. First day and all. She's in junior kindergarten now eh! So Alex is working for him until he can get back in to close up."

Justin couldn't believe that Joey's daughter was already in kindergarten. He could remember when she'd been born, and it just seemed that time was passing by so quickly. He'd only been gone six months but it just hit him how fast time passed. "Wow. Kindergarten. She's growing up so fast. So.. you got plans tonight?"

Josh shook his head. "Not anymore J. Let me just make a phone call." Josh headed into the bedroom to make his phone call, leaving Justin to play with the dogs for a few minutes. Before long he was back and had thrown on a Jean jacket. "So, you wanna go to Fatone's?" It was like he knew exactly what Justin was thinking.

"You know I do. I'm so fucking hungry.."

"Plus I know how bad you want to see Alex."

Justin grinned. "Yeah, that too. So that's cool? You don't mind? I mean, I don't want to interrupt whatever else you had going on tonight." Justin laughed when Josh rolled his eyes and gave him the finger.

"Screw you J, you know that you come before any other plans that I have. Well.. unless it has to do with Lance, but even then... it's been too fucking long since I've seen you and although I never thought I would admit this, I actually miss you."

"Thanks, I love you too jerk." Justin stood and watched JC turn everything off and close up the condo to leave. "You're just saying that because it was me that introduced you to him. Had I not been working and made Nick fall in love with me, he would never have invited me out and I wouldn't have brought you guys and you'd have never met Lance." When they were finally ready to go they headed down to ground.

"Yeah yeah. Like you need a bigger fucking ego kid." Josh's tone was laced with annoyance but his eyes were twinkling. "How you wanna go? Drive?"

"Does Aje have a car there?" Justin asked.

"Yeah, I think he took it this morning. Had some errands to do throughout the day. Why?"

"Well, we're gonna end up staying until he's done. You realize that right?" Justin paused as Josh nodded and laughed.

"Yeah, I figured."

"So there's no point in taking two cars afterwards. So lets just take the subway up. I fucking miss Toronto Transit." Justin nodded when Josh looked at him strangely. "I do."

"You do realize that people are as stupid here as when you left right? Everything that used to piss you off about the TTC still does exist!"

Justin laughed and pulled the other man towards Bay Station. "I know but I've been away from it for so long that it won't annoy me as much. Not yet anyways. I'm just so damn happy to be back home that I don't even care. Plus tomorrow I'll swing by mom's house to get the Navigator, so..."

"Listen to you. Got a house in every major city. Luxury cars..." Josh teased, lightly punching Justin's shoulder.

"Fuck off. You don't know how much it freaks me out sometimes. Last year this time I was barely making rent every month at eight bucks an hour, and now it's a whole other fucking world... and besides, if I don't have the car ready and waiting for his royal highness, he'll throw a hissy fit. Which, despite what people think, is not all that attractive. Nick in a pissy-boy mood is not as fun as it appears to be." Both men broke into laughter at the truth of the situation. "You know how possessive he is about his dogs and his cars."

"Not to mention his boyfriend," Josh winked making Justin blush. They both knew how true that statement was as well.

They slowly made their way through Yorkville towards the subway station, Justin taking the time to look at everything and see how things had or had not changed in the few months since he'd been home. As they were walking down Cumberland Justin heard whispers behind them. Stopping he turned around to see three girls giggling and pointing at him. Josh paused to see what Justin was looking at and noticed the girls as well. "What the?" He turned to see that Justin wasn't surprised in the least by their presence.

"Uhhh, Justin?" One girl said softly, nervous about approaching. "Justin Timberlake right?"

Josh watched as Justin's cheeks took on a slightly pink tint that followed up to his ears. Although he looked slightly embarrassed by the attention, he was gracious and kind to the girls.

Justin smiled and nodded, motioning for them to approach. "Yep, I'm Justin."

"Oh my god, I told you it was him. Of course he's going to be here. He lives here and Nick's supposed to be coming to town too," one girl said to the other in a loud whisper. "Do you think Nick's here yet?"

"No. I heard he wasn't coming in until Friday."

Justin tried to hold back laughter as he listened to the girls talk, figuring that they thought he couldn't hear them. He turned his attention back to the first girl when she began to approach him. In one hand she had a camera, in the other she had a sharpie and a notebook, both hands trembling slightly.

"Do you have a moment Justin? Are we bothering you?"

"Sure. We've got a few minutes. No bother at all. What can we do for you?" Justin smiled warmly at the girls, wanting to put them at ease. They all looked a little anxious. It surprised him every time when people approached him like he was someone special. It wasn't as if he was the star, he was just with Nick. But somehow that automatically made him autograph and picture worthy as well. He had an idea of what they wanted but didn't want to assume and make a fool of himself, so he waited. The first girl pulled out a magazine and Justin recognized the cover. It was from a few months earlier when they did a piece on Nick. Inside there had been a pull out picture of Nick and him attending a party, their first LA party together. Justin had been more nervous than he'd been at the movie premiere and the whole night passed in a blur.

"Would it be okay if I got your autograph and a picture?" When Justin nodded and grinned, he saw the other two girls jump and scramble to get their cameras and pictures ready. He flashed Josh a look of disbelief and saw the older man grin.

"Would you like me to take the picture for you?" Josh asked, reaching for her camera.

"Yes please."

"Us too?" Josh turned to the two silent girls and nodded. He watched them give an excited jump and squeal softly.

"So... when is Nick coming down? He is coming right?" One of the girls asked, lightly grabbing Justin's arm in her excitement. He laughed and nodded his head, handing her picture back to her after signing it.

"Yes, he should be down sometime on Friday. I haven't spoken to him in a few days but he's supposed to be here for a party on Friday night."

One of the girls let out a worried gasp and she stepped in closer. "You haven't spoken to him in a few days? Everything's okay though right? You're not fighting or anything? I will die if you guys break up, you two are just the cutest couple in the world."

Josh let out a loud laugh causing everyone to look at him. "It's cute for the first ten minutes, then it gets nauseating."

"Shut up ass. No one's talking to you." Justin laughed, rolling his eyes. He turned his attention back to the girls and shook his head. "No. We're not fighting. He's just been really busy working out the details of his new movie. We're fine."

The girls let out a collective sigh of relief. "Good. I mean, I was heartbroken last year when I found out he was gay, but I think you guys are great together."

"I know. At first I was upset because it meant he couldn't marry me and live happily ever after, but then I realized that I'd rather he be with you than some skanky ho. So it's cool," one of the other girls spoke honestly.

Justin chuckled and nodded enthusiastically. "I'd rather him be with me than some skanky ho too. But thank you girls. I know he appreciates your support and love and I'll definitely let him know that you'd been asking about him."

The girls started to squeal and giggle. "Okay Justin. Thank you so much." Josh waited until they had turned the corner and were out of ear shot to comment.

"What the fuck was that?" His tone wasn't angry, just surprised.

With a shake of his head and a chuckle Justin responded with, "it's insane man. I understood it when we'd be out together and people would ask if I'd be in the picture with them and him sometimes, but all of a sudden it's been happening while I've been out alone. I mean, they still ask for a picture with just him, which I totally understand, but when they want ME in there with him? It's whack man, I'm not anyone special."

"You're special to him."

Justin dropped his tooney and quarter into the box and followed Josh down the stairs to the platform. "Yeah, I guess so. But still. Not that it's always like that. Sometimes I get fans of his come up to me and say mean things to me, but now I just brush it off."

"That sucks. I know once that I was down visiting Lance, we'd been walking to a restaurant somewhere and some guy had said something to me while Lance was talking to a friend we'd run into. Nasty and disgusting things. I think Lance was as angry about it as I was hurt."

"The thing I don't understand is how people don't know that you two are together. I mean, I hear the gossip when I'm out about the guy that Lance has been sometimes bringing to functions here and there, but it's like ... not a big deal. You know? No one suspects, but with anyone else it's this huge scandal."

"I know. It's great. For us anyways. We're low key and no one really pays much attention, but I think that it's different for you because Nick has always been a leading man in movies. He's the $25 mil a picture actor that could do pretty much anything and people will flock to see it."

It took less than a half an hour before they were walking down the narrow street to Fatone's. Since the film festival the year before when Nick and Mandy's movie had decided to dine at the restaurant, word had gotten around about it and they'd become one of the major players in fine dining in Toronto. AJ had told Justin countless times that they were so busy that there was often a waiting list for reservations, sometimes up to weeks in advance for whatever table could be cleared. As they walked in the front door Justin couldn't believe how busy the small restaurant was.

The first person that Justin recognized was Howie behind the bar, mixing half a dozen drinks simultaneously. He grinned at Josh and they headed through the crowded dining area. Wearing a pair of jeans and a hoodie, Justin almost felt underdressed, but having spent so much time there and feeling so comfortable there it wasn't a major issue.

"Sweet D. Things don't change too much around here do they?" Justin grinned as the shorter Latino man looked up and chuckled.

"Pretty boy. I figured you'd be back soon. Hopefully snag yourself another man." Howie winked and loaded up the waitress' tray. Justin took a survey of the restaurant and noticed that there were a few celebrities in attendance.

"Nah, he's still training the one he landed last year." Josh pulled up a bar stool and sat down, helping himself to a glass of water from the pitcher on the counter.

"Yeah, I'll bet. Welcome back kid. Good to see you again."

Justin nodded and walked around the bar, grabbing himself a beer and pouring Josh a glass of wine. It was clear that Howie was more than busy with actual paying customers, so the least he could do was help himself to alleviate the work load. "Good to be back. How have you been?"

"You know, same shit. The restaurant's doing really well. Always busy, always something going on. So that's good."

Justin nodded as they listened to Howie talk while working. It was ten minutes later when Justin heard a familiar voice. "Excuse me, is there something I can help you with? Would you like a table?"

Justin turned around, a cocky smirk on his lips. "From what I hear I'll have to wait a few weeks for a table, and I'm hungry now. So I think I'll stay right here and you can have someone bring my dinner to the bar." He watched the professionalism slip from Alex's face and swiftly turn into that of shock and finally excitement.

"Holy fucking Christ. What are you doing here?" Alex pulled Justin in for a tight hug, refusing to let the younger man go.

"I came for something to eat bro. I'm fucking starved. They gave me some mystery meat shit on the plane that I was afraid to even smell, so I haven't eaten all day."

Alex groaned and punched Justin on the shoulder as he let him go. "No dip shit. What are you doing here? In Toronto? You're not supposed to get here until Friday."

Josh rolled his eyes and nodded. "I said the same thing. Fucking kid, thinks were just sitting around waiting for him to arrive and grace us with his presence."

The three men stared at each other before breaking into laughter. "Aren't you?"

"Well yeah, but that makes us sound pathetic," Alex snorted. "God it's good to see you kid. What the fuck were you thinking staying away for six damn months?"

"Didn't mean to. Just got busy.. was sick for a bit. Time passes bro. But I'm here for at least a few weeks. Nick's gonna be in England filming for a while, then he's heading out to Vancouver for a bit too. But when this movie's done he's got another one he's going to be filming, and they're shooting here for four months I think. So... we're gonna take things as they come. I might just stay here and go visit him for a weekend or a week here and there."

"Good. Listen though, I'm here till about nine or so. Joe just phoned and said that he'd be here around that time. So you gonna hang around for a bit?"

Josh and Justin exchanged glances and nodded. "Yeah, we're gonna eat and then wait for you to be done. Then maybe go out for a few drinks. What do you think?"

Something caught Alex's eye from across the restaurant and his eyebrows furrowed for half a second. Hitting the button on his headset he spoke to someone in the kitchen to make sure everything was fine. After speaking to the person on the other side he sighed. "There's a minor emergency in the kitchen. You two okay to sit at the bar or do you want a table?"

"Yeah, you got our booth in the back?"

AJ grinned and the two men followed him to the back. It was the booth that they'd spent hours and hours at, drinking and talking while Alex and Joey were working and would come back whenever there was a break. "It's always free. Now you two want your usuals?"

Both men answered affirmative and Alex left them to attend to the kitchen. Dinner was served and Josh and Justin chatted and relaxed, waiting until someone interrupted and joined them. "Well, if it isn't the movie star's girlfriend!"

"Jealous?"

"You know it curly."

Justin grinned and pulled the other man into a half hug, patting him on the back enthusiastically. "Joseph. How have you been brother?"

"Fatherhood is a bitch man. My child is four going on thirty." All three men laughed as Joey shook Josh's hand across the table. "School started this week and so I brought her in. I think I was more traumatized than she was. I was standing there making sure she was okay and she turned to me and said 'it's okay Daddy, you can go now. Come get me later," and didn't even look back. Where does the time go?"

"I hear you. When Josh said that she was going to school I almost had a heart attack. Congratulations on the success though eh? I hear that the restaurant is a major player now."

"Thanks. Last year's festival was huge for us. Brought us so much publicity and business, especially after Nick and Lance were raving about it." Joey checked his watch and stood up. "I should get back there. Aje is probably just itching to get out of here. So I'll see you guys later, and J, it's good to see you again bro."

"Yeah, you too man."

Before long Alex was standing before them, bag in hand and a tired smile on his face. "Lets' roll guys."

"How much for dinner?" Justin asked, grabbing his wallet. He looked up to see Alex staring at him. "What?"

"What do you mean how much for dinner? Fuck off. Let's go. I didn't open my own restaurant to charge my friends for meals. I opened my own restaurant so I could overprice everything so when my friends come for dinner, it's already covered." As they walked through the restaurant, Alex started pointing at people. "Thank him for dinner, and her... and them too. It's their overpriced meals that helped feed you tonight."

Justin and Josh giggled and Alex cackled as they stepped out into the cool September air. Justin felt better in that moment than he had in a long time. Just being home and with two of his best friends was exactly what he'd needed to get over the homesickness he'd been feeling. They climbed into Alex's car, parked in the reserved spot by the door. "So, where we going?"

Josh turned to face Justin in the back seat and smiled. "It's your first night back junior, where do you want to go?"

Justin looked out the window and shrugged. "I have no idea. It's been so long ... Lets go to Hemmingways. We can sit on the rooftop patio and just have a few drinks. Walking distance of the building and so we don't have to worry about driving."

"Good idea." Alex drove them back to their building and took a few minutes to rush upstairs to his place to drop off his bags and change into something clean. Justin and Josh headed over to Hemmingways to secure a table and told him to just join them when he was ready. In less than twenty minutes the three of them were sitting on the patio, Justin toasting with his Moosehead, Alex and Josh with their glasses of sangria.

"So, how are things J? Really?" Alex asked seriously. He covered Justin's hand with his own and squeezed lightly. Justin let out a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Good. It's been a wild year, but things are great."

"What about..."

Justin looked away and took a long swig of his beer. He'd known that his best friend would want to talk about it, but wasn't ready for the conversation all the same. When he looked back, he found himself staring into warm brown eyes. "It's fine. We're fine. Wasn't too sure for a little bit, but it's all worked out. Made us stronger."

There had been a few rocky weeks when Justin had first moved down to Los Angeles with Nick. Although Nick hadn't been officially outted in Hollywood, he'd still managed to have relationships with men without it being a major gossip piece. There hadn't been a lot, only a few really but the one right before Justin had been very emotionally charged and draining on Nick. It wasn't something that Nick talked about openly, so Justin had only been given the basics. That his name had been Ryan and it had ended badly. When Ryan had heard of Justin being in the picture and Nick having successfully moved on, he'd began coming around again. Showering Nick with attention and trying to work his way back into his life again. Where he wasn't willing to come out to be with Nick before, now that Nick was out and not a lot of backlash had surfaced he'd changed his mind and wanted Nick back. It was at the grocery store that Justin had found out the whole story and Nick's actions for the few weeks prior had been explained to him.

He'd been doing some last minute shopping and was in the check out line. A girl had approached him and asked if he was Justin Timberlake, Nick Carter's partner. When he'd answered yes she started to giggle and walked away. It was then that he'd noticed other people staring at him with amused expressions on his face. At first he wasn't sure why they were all looking at him like that, but with one look to that week's Enquirer, he knew. Nick's picture was splattered over the cover in a very comfortable and cozy picture with Ryan with the headline stating that although they'd been lovers before, now that Nick was out of the closet, they could be together again, in public. Justin couldn't fail to notice how happy Nick looked.

He was devastated.

It only got worse when he got back to Nick's and found three voice messages from Ryan, all telling Nick what a great time he'd had the night before and wondering when he'd like to get together again. He couldn't wait until Justin was gone so he could see Nick again and they'd have to do it on the sly, he knew of a good hotel that was out of the way and no one would find them at. They'd been managing quite well for the past few weeks without getting caught.

Justin had no idea what to do. He had no real friends in Los Angeles at this point, the only people he knew were Nick's friends, Nick's family. Blindly, he wrote a note for Nick to check his messages, there were a few important ones he wouldn't want to miss, as well as piled the tabloid papers under the phone for Nick to find. With tears in his eyes, he locked the door and drove himself to the Four Seasons across town, booking himself a room and immediately taking a long bath where he continued to cry. When he couldn't cry any more, he crawled into the bed and fell asleep instantly, exhaustion setting in.

"I'd asked Lance what was going on, but he wouldn't tell me anything." Josh said softly. He poured more of the fruity wine into his glass and took a small sip.

"He didn't know. Nick didn't tell anyone, I didn't tell anyone. Except Alex when he phoned and I was crying. At that point I was ready to book the next flight out and come home. But he convinced me to go to a hotel and just relax for a bit. Not overreact too much."

"What happened? You never did tell me the rest."

Justin let out a shaky breath and felt his hands trembling. "Well, I'd fallen asleep in the hotel and midway through the night I woke up when someone was moving around in the room."

He'd woken up unsure of where he was. Looking at the clock on the night stand it was after three in the morning. The first thing he noticed was the stench of alcohol. "Nicky?"

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so fucking sorry and if you want to leave me I won't stop you but I love you so fucking much and I tried not to hurt you. I tried so hard not to hurt you.. and now you've left me..." Justin had been able to tell immediately that Nick was drunk, his words were slurring and his voice thick with inebriation. He'd been a little thrown off, Nick bombarding him with too much too fast. He moved over as Nick approached the bed. Before the blonde could climb off, Justin got up and helped him remove his clothing, stripping him to his boxers. It was clear they wouldn't be going anywhere tonight.

"How did you get here?"

"Car."

"Did you...?"

Nick shook his head. "Cab." Justin let out a sigh of relief. "I knew you'd come here. Four Seasons..." Nick laid back and flung his arm over his forehead. It was a few minutes later that the bed was shaking with Nick's sobs Justin couldn't fight the ache in his heart and laid down with his lover, pulling him close. "I'm so sorry..."

"What exactly are you sorry for babe?" Justin wanted to wait to find out why Nick was apologizing before getting too much more upset. He needed an explanation of what had gone on with Ryan, past and present. "Please tell me."

"The pictures. The phone calls. I mean, that picture was from like two years ago, just before he broke up with me. Before he dumped me and broke my heart. I know they say it was recent, but it wasn't because the only time I've seen him recently was when I'd stopped by Orion to see Kevin and he was there. I told him never to talk to me or contact me again and that's it."

"What about the phone calls?"

Nick allowed another round of sobs to wrack his body and Justin pulled him tighter. This was not what he'd been expecting and Justin was starting to believe him, that it was all fabricated by Ryan and the media. Nick had never given him a reason to doubt him before and Justin knew that deep in his heart, he trusted Nick with the world. "I don't have any idea what he's talking about. He said we got together last night, but I was at Mom and Dad's all night. I left there at midnight and was home by one. He's just trying to fuck us up. Come between us."

Justin pulled Nick's hands from his eyes and whispered for him to open them. When blue eyes met blue he smiled. "I believe you."

"I'm sorry."

"Nothing for you to be sorry for. Why didn't you tell me about this? How long has it been going on?"

Nick wiped the tears from his eyes and shook his head. Justin repeated the question. "How long Nickolas?"

"Since we got back to LA. He'd been phoning Chris even before that. That's why we had to change our cell numbers and everything else. I didn't even think of the house number because we're never there."

"You have to tell me these things. God, you've been acting so weird lately and I thought it was me. I thought you were having second thoughts about the two of us and..."

"Shit, Justin no. That's not it at all. How could you even think..."


"Well, when have you given me any reason to not think that? Suddenly you're all secretive, not telling me things, giving me strange looks every now and then. You're not lying to me, just leaving pieces of the story out. Everything was perfect and then one day you left the house normal, you come back different and seem so guarded. I really thought..."

Nick pulled Justin's face to his and kissed him deeply. It was sloppy and drunk, but Justin opened his mouth to allow for Nick's tongue to push through. "I love you. I'malways going to love you. Never forget that. You're the reason I get out of bed in the morning some days. You're my soul mate Justin."

"And so we ended up staying at the hotel that night, and when Nick woke up and wasn't drunk, we talked about it more. He told me the whole story of him and Ryan and what was going on. I mean, I really thought he was cheating on me and he really thought I was going to leave him because of it. It was intense. Something I don't think either of us were prepared to deal with. We'd never really had a big fight at that point, and well considering both of our track records, we were both afraid that the other was going to walk and end things. Which scared the shit out of me because I was there, alone, barely any money and having no idea what to do."

"You know you could have called Lance right? Or Chris. That both of them love you like we do. You might not know them as well, but they do care about you J, trust me." Josh pointed out, looking deep into Justin's eyes. He saw the younger man process the information and nod.

"What happened with the Ryan guy?" Alex asked softly. He could see how much pain it was causing Justin to talk about it and remember. The last thing he wanted was to make it worse.

"Well, Nick's lawyers sat down with Ryan's and they had a little talk. And then other stories were coming out and Ryan was completely discredited. A few 'suggestions' were made by Nick's people and we haven't heard from him since." Justin paused to exhale and shook his head. "I love him so much guys. I never realized how much until that happened. It almost killed me. I was physically sick when I'd seen the papers not to mention hearing the voice mail. I threw up twice before I talked to you Aje, and even then it just hurt to breathe. Scared the shit out of me."

"Besides that, how have things been?" Josh asked, trying to steer the conversation away to a new topic.

"Good. His family are great. Didn't even blink when he introduced me to them. All his mother said was 'damn, and we thought his picture was hot, it's nothing compared to seeing him in person.' But I can't keep living off of him. I hate being dependent on him for everything. So I'm going to just take the next few weeks to think about things." He saw Josh and Alex exchange an odd glance and narrowed his eyes. "What was that? You two looked at each other."

Without blinking Alex began to speak. "We're just happy that you're okay kiddo. We've been worried about you down there all by yourself." He paused for the waitress to put another beer in front of Justin as well as adding another pitcher of sangria in front of him and Josh. "It's hard to let you go, but seeing you now, seeing that look in your eyes when you talk about him makes me feel better. That he's treating you right."

"He is. He treats me ... he's everything I've ever wanted Aje."

It was well after last call that Justin, Josh and Alex stumbled down the streets of Yorkville towards their building. The two older men turned down offers of nightcaps at Justin and Nick's place informing him that what they needed was water and their beds, not more alcohol. Justin let himself into the condo and headed straight for the fridge, downing a bottle of water in two large gulps. Grabbing for a second bottle, he took it into the bedroom. Stripping out of his clothes, Justin drank the water and took the phone from it's charger, dialing the familiar numbers to Nick's cell phone. He knew it would be turned off for the night but wanted to leave him a message all the same.

The room was spinning just slightly when he made himself comfortable on the bed, and he waited for the voice mail to kick in.

"Hey, this is Nick. I'm not answering because I'm busy. Leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can. Later."

"Hey baby.." Justin slurred, stretching out on the bed. "Just got home from drinks with the boys. Went to get Aje at work and then we went to Hemmingways. I don't even know how much I had to drink. All I know is that I'm here alone and missing you." Justin's hand found it's way under the sheets and brushed against his groin, which had swollen considerably throughout the night. He was drunk and horny, without his lover there to offer assistance.

"Fuck Nicky.. I wish you were here with me. In bed, on top of me, naked and hard and fuck.. my cock is so hard right now baby. I'm so fucking horny and all I want is you here to fuck me. Maybe if I asked you nicely you'd even suck me. Put that hot mouth around my dick, wrap those lips around my cock, lick me all over."

Justin's hand started pumping up and down his shaft slowly, gaining speed and momentum the more he spoke. Soft whimpers and groans were escaping his lips and his eyes were closed with visions of Nick clouding Justin's mind. "Fuck babe, wish you were here so I don't have to jerk off. Need to cum so bad. You're not even here and you get me so fucking hot." Without any warning, Justin felt his whole body stiffen and he was cumming all over his hand, a loud cry sounding through the room. He put the phone down beside him on the bed and reached on the floor for something to clean himself with. What felt like his tee shirt was in grasping range and Justin drunkenly wiped up his seed from his hand and chest. He sighed and fell back onto the bed, once again picking up the phone. "See what you do to me babe. I love you Nicky. Talk to you later."

Justin was asleep before the phone slipped out of his hand and fell to the floor.

Chapter 2

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