Table of Contents

Everything You Need: Chapter 13

Sunday Day 13

Justin's eyes bugged out and he felt his head throb even harder, as if he needed reminding of how much he'd drank the day before. "What are you talking about? Start my day, I'm tired."

Nick didn't care how much Justin pouted, they were not going to sleep. "I only have seven more hours with you, only six if you consider the fact that I'm going to have to leave you at the gate at noon. So I'm not spending my last few hours with you for god knows how long sleeping." Nick stood up, bringing Justin with him. The younger man's legs were wrapped around Nick's waist and he walked them to the shower.

"But..."

"You can sleep on the flight home baby. I want to go out for breakfast, walk through the streets holding your hand and just spending my time with you."

Justin slid out of Nick's arms and went to the walk in closet to get their towels. While he was doing this, Nick adjusted the temperature of the shower and stepped in, waiting for Justin to join him. When they were both under the spray Nick kissed Justi slow and luxuriously. He turned the younger man to face the glass wall and pressed him against it, sliding in behind him. "I'm going to miss you J. Miss you because you complete me. You make me whole and without you, I'm lost."

Justin could feel Nick's hands on his hips, sliding to his ass and shivered. He knew exactly what was coming next. "I know baby, I feel the same way."

"Just want to show you one last time how much I love you." Despite having cum only half an hour earlier, Nick was hard again, although it wasn't as immediate and desperate as before. This was him wanting to show Justin how much he loved and cherished him. He separated Justin's ass cheeks and nudged his already stretched opening with the head of his cock. "Ready J?"

"Yes Nicky, love me."

Nick bent his knees and thrust into Justin's body slowly, feeling each inch descend into his lover. Nick's hands moved from Justin's waist to where his hands were braced against the shower wall and he threaded their fingers together. He placed a kiss to each of Justin's shoulder blades before thrusting in and out of his body with practiced ease and a loving pace. Vaguely, Nick could hear Justin whimpering "love you... love you Nicky..." with each thrust. It hit his heart in an overwhelming crush of love and adoration and Nick found a release sweeter than anything he'd known. It was that of pure love, not sexual gratification. Nick wondered if Justin would be able to see the tears through the spray of the shower. When he turned the younger man around after pulling out and kissing him softly, he could see that Justin did notice his emotional state.

Justin reached up and stroked Nick's cheek gently, kissing each side before finally resting on his lips. "Lets finish in here and get me ready babe." It wasn't something he was looking forward to do, but the quicker he went home, the quicker he would be able to come back to visit. They exited the bathroom and headed into the bedroom where while Justin dressed and packed his bag, Nick made the bed. With a sigh, Justin stood and looked around the room. It was amazing that after only two full days there he had so many memories already. Enough to hopefully last him until he was back. It was in that exact moment he knew he had done the right thing in bringing Nick up early, coming with him. He would be able to lay in his bed in Toronto and picture Nick curled up in his large queen sized bed. Or watching TV on the couch, or cooking dinner in the kitchen. Or even showering. What Justin didn't know was that at that exact minute, Nick was thinking the same thing.

They had taken four rolls of film during the course of their mini vacation, each getting two rolls. When all four had been finished, they were put into their respective containers and jumbled all around so that they couldn't tell which were from where. Justin picked one, Nick picked, Justin picked a second and Nick got the final roll. Justin would get his two rolls developed and make doubles sending his copies to Nick in a care package, while Nick was to do the exact same thing for Justin.

Nick paused for a moment as Justin stood in the sliver of sunlight streaming in through the window. The sight of Justin standing so beautiful before him nearly took his breath away. He looked absolutely gorgeous, Nick couldn't take his eyes off of him. Before he could continue with what he was doing, Justin turned around and caught him staring. "What are you staring at?" He asked shyly, looking down at his clothes. "Do I look okay?"

Nick blushed at being caught staring and shook his head. "Just taking you all in. Remembering for when I'm here alone and all I have is Chris to keep me company." Justin approached and he opened his arms in welcome, pulling his lover to his body. "I don't know what I'm going to do without you J."

Justin could hear the hitch in Nick's voice and buried his face in his tee shirt as he held onto him tightly. "You're going to work so fucking hard, make an unbelievable movie and then be home with me so you can make another two unbelievable movies. You know how silly we're both being right now right? I'm upset because I'm leaving you here, but I'm going to go home and tomorrow I'll be at Fatone's, learning how to be a restaurateur. I'll be so busy that I won't have time to jerk off let alone think about how much I'm missing you. And it's the same with you. Chris is going to get here later tonight and tomorrow you start working. You're going to be working so many hours and be so exhausted and busy that you won't even remember to miss me. Then the next thing we both know, I'll be coming back to visit and we can start this all over again."

Nick couldn't help but laugh, knowing how right Justin was. "I know. It's just..." Justin nodded and they both grinned.

"I know."

Their mouths came together in a sweet kiss, lasting until Nick's stomach growled between them. "I think it's time to get something to eat."

"Come on Nicky, lets go. I'll bring my bag with me so we don't have to come back here before going to the airport."

Justin took one last look around Nick's flat and smiled, already counting the days until he returned. Within half an hour, they were at a favourite cafe of Nick's, perusing the menu to order breakfast. Just as Nick was about to ask Justin what he was going to order, his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Nicky, your boy still in town?" Robbie's voice drifted through the line making Nick laugh.

"Yes. Flight leaves at one, gotta be at the airport by noon. What's up?" When Justin flashed him a curious look he mouthed 'Robbie' to him. Justin nodded and smiled.

"Where are you two? I was hoping to see you two together before he left. I just dropped all my gear at home and was about to go for breakfast."

"Well Robert, you're in luck. We're just sitting down to order breakfast ourselves and we're not too far from your place. Unless you've moved?"

"Nope, still same shabby flat that you'd remember," Robbie said. Nick could hear him opening and closing a door, most likely that to his flat. "You at..."

"The corner of Cobblestone and St. James." Nick knew Robbie would know the place.

"Jesus Nicky, I only ever go there when you're in town. What is it about this place that you love?" Robbie started his car and laughed at the scolding Nick gave him.

"Why are you driving? It's like three blocks away."

"But the airport is fucking far Nicky, and your boy is going to have to get there somehow. I've reserved my whole day for you and the kid. I'll be there in ten, order me a coffee, strong and black."

Nick hung up the phone and shook his head in disbelief. Justin simply stared at him, waiting for him to speak. "Well, let me just say that hell has frozen over."

"Why? What's wrong?" Justin asked, smiling at the waitress that had just arrived.

"Can I take your orders?"

"Large orange juice and a coffee please," Justin ordered before looking at Nick.

"I'll have an iced tea and two large coffees." The waitress gave him a strange look.

"Sir, the refills are free."

"Oh I know, but a friend is meeting us here and he's going to want a large coffee. He'll be right pissed if it's not here and waiting for him."

She nodded in understanding before walking off to fill their drink orders.

"So Robbie's coming to join us?" Justin asked, unsure of how he felt about that. Nick had said he wanted to spend their last bit of time together, and he had assumed he'd meant alone, but he's invited Robbie to join them.

"Yeah, he wants to come and see you off. Had called to ask us to breakfast, which is something he NEVER does after a big night like last night. He usually goes straight home to bed and doesn't talk to anyone until at least Monday. You must have made a big impression on him for him to call. I'm impressed."

Justin simply rolled his eyes and tossed his napkin at Nick. "Shut up. He probably just wants to make sure I get off okay today so that he knows he can have you all to himself."

"Or he's hoping that you two haven't shagged yourself useless and maybe we could go to my place and have a bit of fun before your flight takes of. What do you say?" Justin and Nick looked up to see Robbie standing above them, lips curled in a cocky grin.

"You wish Robert, you had your chance. Now I've seen the light."

Robbie shrugged and sat down, choosing the seat next to Justin instead of next to Nick. Moments later the waitress came by with their drinks and asked if they were ready to order. Once the formalities were out of the way the three men smiled at each other, no one knowing where to start. It was Robbie that spoke first.

"So Justin, how did you enjoy the party last night? Did you have fun?"

Justin grinned and nodded his head. "Amazing. I've never been to anything like it before."

"I don't believe that they don't have all night raves in Toronto. Just not possible."

"Oh I'm sure they do, I've just never been to one before." For some reason, sitting in this relatively quiet cafe with Nick and Robbie seemed almost natural. Nick's foot brushed up against his leg under the table and Justin smiled, brushing back. They made small talk about the night before until their meals came, all three men digging in heartily.

"So, I never did hear the actual story of where you two met. I heard what the rags said about it, but I only ever believe 80 percent of what I read in the paper. Did you really meet in a hotel?"

Both Nick and Justin nodded. "I worked as a receptionist check in clerk at the Four Seasons in Toronto. Nick came in and was staying with us for the film festival last year and that's how we met."

Robbie turned his attention to Nick, who was smiling fondly at the memory. "And I bet you took one look at those baby blues, that hot bod and said 'damn, I want to shag that boy into the ground.' Didn't ya Nicky?"

Nick filled his mouth with his pancakes, ignoring the question.

"Yeah, I can just see it now. Love at first sight. Meeting for quickies behind the desk. Late night romps when no one's looking."

"You are so crass. What is wrong with you?" Nick laughed at the innocent smile on Robbie's face.

"I'm just saying. It was probably lust at first sight, for both of you."

Justin nodded his agreement. "It was for me. I wanted to jump him the minute I looked up and saw him standing in front of me."

"Figures, you two are perfect for each other. Makes me sick you know. It's completely disgusting." There was no tone in his voice to indicate he was serious.

Breakfast was just what Justin needed to be content in leaving Nick in London for four months. He knew that Chris would be in later that day to watch over his lover, but even knowing that Robbie would be there to take care of him if need be was comforting. It was in the brief touches, the looks that were passed between them and the easy air surrounding them that showed Justin how much the two men cared for one another. It was on a deeper level than raw sexual attraction, something that put Justin's mind at ease.

"So where are we off to now?" Robbie asked, putting on his sweater.

It was then that Justin remembered that although he'd only brought the one bag with him, he still had everyone's souvenirs back at the flat. "Shit, the suitcase. I was going to bring that with me and I'd put it under the bed so I wouldn't forget."

"And you forgot?" Nick asked. When Justin nodded, everyone broke into laughter.

"It's fine, we'll go back to your place and pick it up. It'll take a few minutes."

The forgotten suitcase was retrieved and the three men spent the rest of their morning driving through the country side. "I'm sure you boys have only come out of the flat in between shags for food and foreplay for more shagging, so Justin probably hasn't seen much of the country side. We don't have enough time to show you a lot, but enough for you to be able to go home and tell your mates what a beautiful country side we have over here."

"You're not going to have to worry about me bragging about it here, I don't think I'll be shutting up about it. I'm wondering what I can do to convince everyone I know to uproot out of Toronto and move here. It's so fucking beautiful." Justin sighed, looking out the window at the landscape around him. "Thank you for getting us in last night Robbie, and thank you for today. I really appreciate it."

"Well Justin, here's the deal. Next time I'm in Toronto you can show me around. Take me to all the hot spots and show me a good time. If he's lucky, we'll even let Nicky come along."

"Hey hey. Watch it Rob, he's mine. Go find your own man." Nick felt Justin's hand on his shoulder and raised his to link their fingers together. He brought Justin's hand to his mouth and kissed it softly.

"Can't I just borrow him for a while?" Robbie met Nick's eyes first, then Justin's, neither sure to whom he was speaking. He received a resounding "NO" from both of them.

"Rob, if we're going to get there in time, she should head to the airport now. I just want to make sure everything goes smoothly."

"I know I'm going to sleep the entire flight home. I'm so fucking tired," Justin admitted, letting out a huge yawn. He settled against the back of the passenger side seat, wrapping his arms around Nick's shoulders.

When they reached the airport, Robbie got out and leaned against the side of his car, lighting up a cigarette. He took a drag and grinned. "You kids do your thing, I think I'm going to stay out here and miss the dramatics. I'm sure you want some time alone to cry and moan about how much you're gonna miss each other. Besides, it's been hours since my last fag and I'm in withdrawal. I know Nicky here hates them and I'm not quitting any time soon, so I might as well get it out of my system before I have to drive him home."

Justin gave Robbie silent thanks. He offered his hand to shake, which the older man accepted and used to pull him close. "Thanks for everything Robbie, take care of him for me."

"You got it kid. Have a safe flight and hopefully I'll see you in a few weeks."

Justin pulled away and followed Nick into the airport, looking back at Robbie who was watching them wistfully. He slid his right hand into Nick's left as they made their way through the busy airport to the international terminal. He felt his stomach knotting up and his hands trembling. He wasn't sure if it was from the impending flight or just that he was leaving after such a great weekend.

"Can you come in with me?" Justin asked softly, tugging on Nick's arm. They had checked in the suitcase, citing the backpack as a carry on.

"Do you want me to? You're boarding in about forty minutes." Nick leaned in to nuzzle Justin's cheek.

"Will Robbie mind?"

Nick laughed. "You know he'd probably kick my ass if I went out before I saw you board the plane. He'd march me back in and embarrass me in front of everyone telling them what an awful boyfriend I am. So no, he won't mind."

They headed through the concourse to the strips of stores hoping for last minute purchases. Nick bought Justin as much junk food and magazines that he could fit into his bag, insisting on spoiling the younger man, even going as far to buy him a small stuffed shark and naming him Nicky. "This is for you baby, so you can sleep with it and it's like you're sleeping with me."

"In that case," Justin started, looking at the array of stuffed animals on the shelf. He found a tiger and added that to their pile. "This is for you. You can call him Timba Lake. He'll be Timba the Tiger." He punctuated the sentence with a low growl and cocked an eyebrow.

"You're lucky I'm already in love with you because if I wasn't..." Nick broke into laughter as Justin punched him on the shoulder.

"Fine, I'll put it back."

Nick scrambled to grab the exact tiger that Justin had held up to show him, cuddling it into his arms. He missed the sly grin that appeared on Justin's face as a result. They took their time getting to the gate, so by the time they did arrive Justin only had a few minutes to before he could board. Nick took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I told myself I was going to be okay with you leaving. And I know in a day or so I will, but for right now it sucks."

"I know Nicky." They sat down on the uncomfortable chairs and Justin rested his head on Nick's shoulder. Both men were exhausted and it was heightening the emotional atmosphere around them. "But we're going to be just fine. I'm really excited to go home and start work tomorrow."

"You are going to have to call me and let me know how everything went. Give me full details."

"If they don't work me to the bone and I collapse from exhaustion. I know how many hours that Alex puts in there. It's more than a full time job for him, it's his life and I want to be successful with it. I want to make him proud."

"No mater what you do he's going to be proud of you. Knowing him and how close the two of you are, he's probably ecstatic that you're going to be working together at the restaurant."

They heard Justin's flight being called over the PA system. First class was being seated and all members could now proceed to the gate.

"This is me babe," Justin whispered, standing up. He pulled Nick into his arms and kissed him passionately, trying to memorize his taste and the feel of their lips together. His body shivered at the feel of Nick's tongue delving deep into his mouth and he pulled away regretfully. "If I don't go now, I won't." With trembling hands, he cupped Nick's face and looked directly into his eyes. "Nickolas. I love you. Be careful, be safe and stay out of trouble," both men smiled and Justin giggled. "If you ever need to call, no matter what time it is, call me."

"Same here babe, just page me or call and leave a message. I'll get back to you as soon as I can." Nick stole another kiss and laughed as Justin tried to bite his tongue. "I love you." He held up the stuffed tiger and waved a paw at Justin. "Timba says bye too."

"I'm in love with an idiot," Justin joked, rolling his eyes. He got out his boarding pass and passport as he approached the woman standing at the gate.

"Yes you are. Phone me when you get in babe. I want to make sure you get home all right."

"Of course Nicky. Tell Robbie I say good-bye, and tell Chris I say hey."

Justin passed through the gate and took one last look over his shoulder, imprinting the vision of Nick watching him go into his mind. It wasn't until he was in his seat, on the far side of the plane that he realized he was really leaving, and Nick wasn't joining him. He opened his backpack immediately, extracting the shark from it's bag and held onto it. It was then that he noticed an envelope that hadn't been in his bag earlier. Nick's handwriting was clearly evident upon first glance and Justin grinned despite the sadness he was feeling. He should have known that Nick would get the last word in.

He wanted to tear the envelope open immediately but restrained himself. He had to read whatever it was that Nick left for him when they were safely in the air. The last thing he needed was to have his lover tell him something moving enough to get him back off the plane and into his arms, refraining him from leaving his side. Not that it would have been Nick's intention, but Justin wasn't sure that he had the strength to leave right now. Thankfully the plane was quickly filling up and it was almost time for take off. He would read Nick's note when they were off the ground.

It was nearly an hour later that they had taken off and Justin was leaving London behind. His eyes were drooping and for the second time in less than a week, Justin was functioning on no sleep. Thankfully he'd gain the five hours he'd lost a few days earlier and have much more time to sleep before starting work tomorrow. He turned down the offer of something to drink and curled up against the window, Nick's envelope in hand. He carefully peeled the flap back and slid the contents out. It appeared to be letters to him, some in Nick's handwriting, some composed on the computer. The top letter was an introduction of some sorts, dated the day before.

Justin,

Baby. You're in the other room and I've got to make this fast so that you don't come in and ask what I'm doing. Because then I'm going to have to lie to you and when you read this, you're going to be pretty pissed off. So just stay in the other room for a bit longer and be a good boy.

That made you sound like a dog. Oh god, you're going to kill me by the end of this letter. HAHA.

So, you're reading this, which means you're on the plane going home. Which means that I'm still probably standing at the window at the airport with my hand up against the glass and already missing you. I miss you right now and you're still here, so I can only imagine what I'm going to be feeling tomorrow.

I wasn't sure when I was going to give these to you, or even IF I was going to give them to you. A lot of what you're going to find here are letters I've written to you over the course of the past few months. Most are recent, from when I was in New York and you were in Toronto, and then when you were in Toronto and I was there too.. you just didn't know I was writing them. But read them in the order that I've put them. They are in chronological order, from oldest to latest and you can see just how much my love for you has grown.

I'm proud of you for doing what you feel you have to do, no matter how much it's killing us. And I think that this time apart will only be best for us. So go home and get the condo ready for me because I'm going to be home before you know it.

Justin wiped a tear from his eye and held the letter to his chest affectionately. Nick had said home. Up until that point he'd always just said 'Toronto' or 'the condo' as opposed to home, being LA. When he'd gotten his emotions in check he continued reading.

So give your mom and dad a big hug and kiss for me. Give Josh, Joey and Alex my best and remember that I love you more than anything. Don't forget about me and if you're going to find someone else, make sure they're hotter and richer than me. I don't want you dumping me for some ugly poor jerk.

And with that Justin was laughing, garnering curious stares from other passengers.

Take care and get some sleep baby. Knowing us we are going to be up all night tonight at Robbie's party and then spend the whole morning having enough sex to last me until the next time I see you. By then I'll probably have carpal tunnel and my wrist is going to be useless.

Take care Jus, I love you.

Love, your Nicky.

Justin grinned and quickly scanned over the letters that were so neatly stacked together. His eyes were drooping and he could barely stay awake. Making a decision, he slipped the stack back into the envelope and slid it into his backpack again so he could read it when he was more alert. Pulling a blanket he'd gotten from a flight attendant over him, Justin closed his eyes and thought of his lover.

Nick sighed as he lost sight of Justin's plane. He waited another ten minutes before starting through the airport. Just as he knew he would, he found Robbie standing in the same position he'd left him, considerably more cigarette buts surrounding his feet than when he'd left.

"Kid gone?" Robbie asked gently. Nick nodded. "You okay?" Nick nodded again.

"Yeah."

"Good. You can come shopping with me. I need to pick up some stuff."

"I don't think so.." Nick just wanted to go back to his flat and sleep. To crawl into the bed that he'd shared with Justin for the past few nights and get some rest.

"I do think so. I know you haven't slept yet, but you've stayed up longer. You're going to go back to that empty box of memories and mope because your baby cakes is gone. I'm not going to let you."

Nick let out a sigh of resignation, he wasn't in the mood to argue so he complied.

"I'd be pretty bummed though too you know. He's pretty special. But then so were you. I don't know why I didn't see it." Robbie stared at Nick, studying his features. "He brought something out in you that no one else has been able to. Not even me, which hurts more than I think it should."

Nick managed a weak smile, grateful that Robbie had been with him for this. He hadn't wanted to do it alone but had no other choice. "We never would have worked Rob."

"Because I wouldn't let us. Don't pretend you had a choice in the matter, you made due with what I gave you. I wouldn't let you have everything, couldn't let you have everything. I still haven't decided if I regret that. I see you with him and think that could have been me."

Nick stopped breathing for a moment, unable to comprehend the situation at hand. He had no idea what Robbie was trying to say. "What? Where is this coming from? Especially after all this time?"

Robbie shook his head and continued driving. "I don't know. I saw you yesterday, see you right now and it's different. You're different. You always had the possibility of stealing my heart but I wouldn't let you. Kept you at an arm's length for that reason."

"Huh." Nick exhaled, mulling over the admission lingering in the air. "Really!"

"Really. I did love you you know, do love you."

"I know. I love you too. You know I do."

Robbie stopped the car and pulled them to the shoulder of the road. He braced his hands on the steering wheel and was looking into the horizon, as if deliberating on something important. Nick couldn't tear his eyes off of the older man, waiting for an explanation. Finally he turned to look him in the eye. "Then lets try this again. I think we'd be so good for each other. Lets give it another go, what do you say Nicky?"

Nick's eyes nearly bulged out and his jaw dropped. He was stuttering over what to say when Robbie burst into laughter and shook his head.

"You always were the most gullible kid I knew Nicky. Fuck that was classic."

Nick's shock turned to anger and he punched Robbie's shoulder roughly. "You're an asshole, you know that. Here I am, thinking you're fucking serious when you're saying this shit and you're dicking me around."

Robbie was laughing so hard he had difficulty trying to fight off Nick's assault. "You should have seen the look on your face mate, hilarious."

Nick pouted, crossing his arms over his chest and staring out the window. He jumped when he felt a hand on his leg.

"Nicky, I was serious about everything except us getting back together. I do wish I had have let you in more, given you a chance for more. And I do love you."

Their eyes met and Nick felt a sense of closure regarding their relationship, their romantic relationship anwyays. Up until that exact minute he had constantly wondered exactly how the older man felt about him and whether it was his fault things hadn't progressed any further than it did. As casual as he'd always felt their relationship was, there was always that doubt, and with one sentence, Robbie had quelled all of his fears. "So it wasn't me then? It wasn't something I did or didn't do to make you not want more with me?"

Robbie's features softened and his eyebrows knitted together. His head tilted to the side and he cupped Nick's face gently. "Of course not. Did you think all this time it was?" Nick nodded, slightly embarrassed.

"I guess a part of me did feel that way. I hadn't realized it until this weekend. Yesterday and today, being around you again and watching you with Justin. I can see the jealousy, but can't figure out why you'd be jealous."

"Because you're beautiful and special and I was a moron for not realizing what I had when I had it. Don't think that you didn't mean the world to me Nicky, because you did. You meant more than most, which is saying a lot."

And Nick knew he was right, in Robbie's world that did mean a lot, which gave him a sense of satisfaction that his efforts with the older man, their relationship had been everything he'd felt it was. He took a deep breath as the older man pulled back onto the road and headed towards town again.

"But I did tell the pretty boy that if he hurts you, he'll have me to deal with." Their eyes met and a moment of tenderness and love passed between them.

"What did he say?" Nick could just imagine Robbie warning Justin about hurting him, trying to be all menacing and serious. The image made him chuckle and he wondered why the younger man didn't tell him of their conversation.

"He didn't say anything, didn't need to." Robbie started the car and pulled back onto the road, heading further into town. "You done good kid, you got yourself a good bloke. You're not going to find anyone better Nicky. He loves you, you should have seen him when you left last night to get our drinks. I danced up on him and he backed off, thought I was coming on to him."

"Were you?" Nick raised an eyebrow in curiosity. When he saw the other man grin he shook his head and laughed. "You are so bad Robert."

"I wasn't trying to get with him Nickolas, you know me better than that. I don't do that to my mates, never have never will." Nick had to admit that was the truth, as much of a whore as Robbie was, as many people as he cheated on and with, it had never been at the expense of someone he truly cared about. "But I was trying to see what he'd do, whether he would go with it or back off. He passed." They rode a while longer in silence, both men reflective on the events of the past 24 hours.

It was Nick that spoke first, "I'm really glad that I phoned yesterday. I wasn't sure if I should call. It's been a while..."

"You know you can always call me Nicky. Don't matter how long or what shit's gone down, I'm always here for you."

Nick wasn't so sure before, but after the night before and their talk today, he knew. And it was a great relief to know that the older man was there for him if he ever needed it. "Thank you. That means a lot to me."

"So, when does he land?"

"He should be in Toronto by seven tonight. But I have to pick Chris up at nine..."

"You need a ride?"

Nick shook his head, grinning at the other man. "Chris will have a fit if I show up with you right off the bat." When Robbie started to laugh Nick continued. "You know it's true. He'll jump to all sorts of conclusions and then things will get ugly, he'll have to call Justin to make sure that I'm not cheating on him without him knowing about it..."

"Because you'd cheat on him if he knew about it?" Robbie joked, nodding as Nick rolled his eyes.

"Fuck you, you know what I mean. And it's not that Chris doesn't like you, he just never really saw what I saw in you. Thought I was .."

"Wasting your time with an asshole who didn't appreciate you!" He phrased it as a comment, not a question because they both knew it was the truth.

"Yes."

"And I was. Except I did appreciate you, just took it for granted, that's all. I just hope that the kid doesn't do the same, although judging by the way you two look at each other and are always all over each other, I don't think that's an issue."

Nick grinned as he looked out the window and up towards the sky, wondering how the man in question was doing.

~~~~~

By the time Justin got home he had slept for pretty much the duration of the trip, thankfully waking him up adequately because it was as if no time had passed. It was just after two when he arrived and was greeted by Alex and Josh at his gate. Justin's lips curled into a giant grin and he embraced his two best friends tightly. "What are you both doing here? It's good to see you but..."

"Well I had to drop Lance off, his flight left about two hours ago, and Alex was bored. Joey gave him the day off and ..."

"And I wanted to make sure you got home safe and sound," Alex finished grinning at the younger man. "So... how was it?"

Justin's smile told them everything they needed to know. "Beautiful. Wonderful. Amazing."

They headed towards the parking lot as Justin filled the two men in on the events of his weekend away.

"So you met his first real boyfriend?" Josh asked, sliding into the back seat as AJ drove and Justin was in the passenger seat. "How was that?"

"I was nervous as hell. No idea how to feel or what to think. He's a DJ right, so of course he's immediately ten million times cooler than me, a night clerk at a hotel. Or at least that's what I was when Nick met me. But then he got us into this all night rave party that we went to last night..." Justin paused when he saw the shocked looks on his best friends' faces. "Yeah, we went to an all night rave last night. I didn't go to sleep until I was on the plane."

"Impressive kid." AJ looked at him fondly, winking before averting his eyes back to the road.

"But Robbie's great. He hung out with us for a bit last night, then called this morning and we had breakfast and he took us around the countryside before my flight. It's funny, because Nick told me that it was pretty much Robbie that had set the pace between them, but I could see how he was watching Nick. How he was watching the both of us together and there was this wistful expression in his eyes. As if he felt regret about something." Justin jumped slightly when he felt Josh's hand on his shoulder from behind him.

"Just because he didn't want more of a relationship with him, doesn't mean that he doesn't care for him J. Odds are he saw how happy you made Nick and remembered how things were when they were together." Josh paused for a moment to weight out his next words carefully. "Are you worried about leaving Nick there with him?" It wasn't as though he was doubting Nick's sincerity and dedication to the relationship, but moreso just the situation in general.

Justin watched out the window, looking up at the sky. He'd thought the same thing over and over in his mind since Nick had told him the story of his past in London with the older man. He trusted and loved Nick with all his heart but there were just things that you couldn't help feeling. "No, I'm not. If he's going to do something he's going to do it. There's nothing I can do about it and I can't stay with him constantly, just in case. If I had to, then I wouldn't want to be with him. But I trust him just like I know he trusts me."

Just as they were reaching Toronto's downtown core, Justin remembered two small capsules in his carry on. "Can we stop by a photo shop? I have two rolls of film I want to put in."

"Just two?" Alex asked, laughing. He laughed harder when Justin turned an interesting shade of pink.

"Nick has the other two. We each got two rolls, and then we're going to get them developed and send the doubles."

"Oh god, you both make me want to throw up sometimes," Josh announced from the back seat causing for AJ to cackle.

"Because you and your boy are better right?" Silence fell upon the three men as they each agreed without words. Josh and Lance were just as bad, sometimes worse.

Within the hour, Justin was back at his condo, emptying out his bag and Nick's suitcase. He gave Alex and Josh their presents, glad to see how much they enjoyed them. "I saw them and they immediately screamed out your names guys."

"You didn't have to bring us anything," Josh said, clearly not willing to return the unnecessary gift. "But we're glad that you did."

They sat around talking for a few minutes later until finally Justin kicked the two men out. "You've picked me up and brought me home. Your job is done now. Alex, I'll see you tomorrow morning. What time do you want me to start?"

Alex stared at him for a moment before answering. "You sure you don't want a few days to get into the swing of things?"

Justin shook his head. "No. I want to start immediately. If I don't get some sort of routine started, nothing will get done and I'll end up moping around the condo missing him and feeling sorry for myself. So what time?"

"I'll be down to get you at nine."

"Good, see you then. Josh, I'll see you whenever." Josh and Alex took turns hugging him one last time before Justin had ushered them out into the hall and towards the elevators. Despite it being barely 3 in the afternoon, Justin had a lot of things to do. They'd already brought the dogs back down to his place and they were just as excited to see their master as he was to see them. "I'm going to call Daddy boys. You wanna talk to Daddy?" He received excited barks and yips in response. He would call Nick, and then take the dogs over to his parents house for some exercise so he could see them and bring them their presents as well. A few moments later he was listening to the phone ring, waiting for Nick to pick up.

"Hello?" Nick's voice was loud and clear over the line.

"Miss me yet?" Justin asked, feeling goose bumps cover his skin. He heard a sharp intake of breath before he got an answer.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?"

Justin's lips curled into a slight grin and he rolled his eyes at his lover's theatrics. "Oh, I'm sorry. I must have the wrong number." Before he could pretend to hang up he heard laughter on the other end.

"You wouldn't hang up."

"I might."

"You didn't."

"So?"

There was a brief pause before Nick spoke. "Of course I do."

"Me too." The silence between them was deafening and as much as Justin had to say to his lover, he couldn't voice a single thought. "It's hard to believe it."

"What babe?" Nick stretched out on the couch and nodded at Chris who was mouthing Justin's name to him from the kitchen. The older man motioned for the bathroom and Nick figured he was going to go and take a shower, giving him some time alone to talk to Justin.

"That just this morning I was over there with you. That we were together, and now I'm all the way over here, alone."

"I know. After Robbie and I did some running around for him, he dropped me off here so I could get some sleep before Chris got in and the bed still smelled like you. I curled up with your pillow and when I woke up, I'd actually forgotten that you'd left. It wasn't until I went into the living room that I realized you were gone."

"How is Chris?"

"Good. He says hi, and that he's glad we had a great time this weekend."

"Guess what I did when I came home?" When Nick didn't answer he continued. "I went to get the pictures developed."

Nick grinned. "Yeah, we went by the photo shop but it was closed, so Chris is going to go by tomorrow and drop them off." He waited for a second before breaking into hysterical laughter. "We're so pathetic you know."

Justin joined in laughing in total agreement. "I know. I mean, if this were Josh and Lance, and I over heard them, I'd be making fun of him until the next millennia. You'd think we'd never been away from each other before."

"What did we do before last year J? I mean, damn."

They continued on with mindless conversation for a few more minutes, both men falling into easy discussion. Although they had just spent the whole past week together, pretty much every minute of every day, there was still so much for them to talk about.

"So, what's your plan for the rest of the afternoon babe? It's still early there right?"

"Yeah, not even dinner yet. I wanted to call you, hear your voice and tell you that I got home okay. Then the babies and I are going to go to mom and dads for dinner. I'm going to bring them their presents."

Nick's lips curled into a smile at the mention of his dogs. "How are our babies?" He heard Justin giggle before withdrawing the phone from his ear. There was a faint rustling sound as Justin whispered the names of their dogs. Moments later there was barking and panting into the receiver. Nick could imagine the dogs sniffing and licking at the phone. "Hey puppies.. how are my babies? Daddy misses you, yes he does." This continued on for a few more minutes until Justin pulled the phone away and came back onto the line.

"God, now this phone smells like dog. I'm going to have to disinfect it. They heard your voice and went crazy. They miss you so much babe."

"I miss them too." Nick heard the water from the shower cut out and he knew Chris was finished. They were planning on going out for a few drinks and all he had to do was pull on a sweater and his shoes. "Well J, Chris is out of the shower and we're going out for a few drinks and something to eat, so I should go and get ready."

Justin felt his stomach flip a few times. He stood up and went into his bedroom, grabbing the bag he was to bring to his parents' house. "I understand babe, I should get going too. Gonna head over soon."

"Give your parents my love babe. And remember how much I love and miss you. If you want, call me when you're going to bed."

Justin did the time exchange in his head. "What time do you have to be on set?"

"My call is for quarter to six."

"That should be about right. I'll probably be going to bed around midnight since I've got to be at the restaurant tomorrow, so that'll make it five there... Yeah, I'll call you just as I'm slipping into bed. So I'll say my goodnight to you now, and then you can say yours when you wake up."

"Night Justin, I love you."

"I love you too baby."

They hung up the phone, both men feeling a sense of apprehension settle over them, but also that of love and admiration. Nick was proud of Justin that he was going into business with his best friends, while Justin was proud of Nick doing his movie.

The next seven months were going to be infinitely hard for both of them, getting used to being apart for long periods of time, but it was made clear that Nick would visit him when he had the chance, and Justin was just itching to go back to England. As Justin pulled on one of Nick's hoodies, he brought the material up to his nose and inhaled, smelling the older man's cologne. It made him feel warm and fuzzy inside.

He'd come so far in the past twelve months, did many things he'd never expected to and been places he'd only dreamed about. He'd found the love of his life and at the same time, reinforced how much he loved and was loved by his friends and family. He knew that the time away from Nick was going to be hard, but he would do it. He could do it because even though they were apart, he could feel how much Nick loved him, and not only that, he knew Nick knew how much he loved him. As Justin gathered the puppies together and they headed down to the Navigator, the dogs estatic they were going for a ride, he knew that despite how much he'd done the past year, how much his life had changed, it was just the beginning, and he couldn't wait for Nick to come home so they could continue the ride of their lives.

Finis

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