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Title: Everything You Saw In Me
Author: Jules
Part: 1/1
Pairing: TimberNick
Rating: PG (some language and smooching)
Disclaimer: Fiction for entertainment purposes
Warnings: Bigroupal warning, slash warning, AR (alternate reality) warning
Notes: Wasn't going to write a story for my challenge but I did anyways. The song I picked was Something More by our very own Canadian Idol Ryan Malcolm! Ooh, and I know Something Like You is an NSYNC song.. but yeah, close enough. And there was/is no NSYNC in this AR so technically Justin could have sang it. *sighs* It's my favourite song from Celebrity so yeah! LOL

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I don't think that I can tell you what this means to me
But here I am, it's so hard to believe
That I'm standing here, that I've come this far
But you always said, have faith in who you are
I wanna take this time to thank you for the love you gave
From this moment, you've got to know

The lights were bright, too bright and he could barely see anything except the dots flashing behind his eyelids. They were there when he opened his eyes, they were there when he shut them, he was almost certain that they would be there tomorrow morning when this moment was long gone and but a memory to over thirty thousand people, give or take a few hundred. There was a nest of butterflies in his stomach, all fighting for dominance and probably the remainders of the dinner he hadn't thrown up minutes before getting his cue. His knees were shaking, probably loud enough for everyone in a one hundred feet radius to hear and there was a disgusting layer of sweat forming on his hands, under his arms and probably down his back.

Despite all of the overwhelming signs of anxiety and anticipation, Justin was having the time of his life. He was fulfilling every single dream he had entertained since he was old enough to realize what dreams were, and it was because of that he was relishing the discomfort. He was grateful for the urge to throw up, the desire to turn and run back to the hotel room he'd been in less than three hours earlier and the assault not only on his eyes at the moment, but his ears as well. If he felt all of these things, it was because he was there, living his dream. And it was all worth it. All worth it and then some.

After taking a deep breath, Justin opened his eyes and blinked the bright dots away. On cue, the lights dimmed enough for his eyes to focus and the dots to turn into blurry, fuzzy circles slowly fading. He blinked a few more times for good measure before letting his lips curl into what seemed to be his trademark smirk. The noise raised ten decibels as screams filled the air. With the lights dimmed Justin could see the first twenty or so rows of people, eyes all focused on the stage, their attention all directed towards him. Him and him alone. There were women of all ages, daughters, wives, grandmothers, mothers and sisters. Women of all cultures and races, women of all classes all watching him with awestruck eyes.

As Justin searched he took note that there were a few men, not a lot but a few. Most were probably there for their daughters or girlfriends, both for which Justin was grateful. Fans were fans, an audience was an audience, and as long as they walked away entertained, feeling as though they had gotten a show worthy of the price of the ticket they'd paid for, he was happy. There were, however, a few fans of the male persuasion that weren't there for a girlfriend or a daughter. Or a sister or any female friend. They were there for him, pure and simple.

Those fans always made Justin smile a little wider. Brighter. More genuine.

He appreciated all fans, but he couldn't lie and say he didn't have a soft spot for homosexual male fans. He got that, he lived that for so long and knew what they felt inside, how they felt and what it was like to be them. Justin made sure to be a little more enthusiastic in their general direction, and judging from the smiles on their faces, he knew they appreciated it.

The music started up and the opening bars of Like I Love You began to play, jolting Justin back into the present. To where he needed to be, physically and mentally. He had two more songs to do. The first encore had been a rousing success, a surprise guest of Christina Aguilara coming out to sing a song with him had not only shocked the crowd but put them in a party mood. Now he just had to deliver his biggest hit, and then his new single and the show would officially be finished.

His show.

His first show.

And once again he was hit with the overwhelming realization that he was there in that moment, doing exactly what he was doing, which was standing in front of a sold out crowd of fans, HIS FANS, performing his music. It was all something he'd never really believed would happen. Not when he'd informed his mother and father he was moving from Memphis Tennessee to New York City to get a recording contract. At the time, everyone had told him he was crazy. Certifiably insane for even thinking he'd be able to be noticed in such a huge city. Not that he didn't have the talent for it, they all agreed that he did, it was just a virtually impossible thing to do, especially when you knew no one on the inside, no one to give you a hand.

Somehow, amidst all of his thinking and over thinking, Justin managed to make it through Like I Love You. He'd been rehearsing day and night for this tour and thankfully he was pretty much able do the moves on autopilot. And with the song being his first single, he'd sang it enough times that it was engrained in his head. His mind wandering as he moved, he wondered if he would ever be able to get it permanently erased from his head. It seemed to haunt him and Justin knew that it was just the beginning. Hopefully, he had a long career ahead of him and Like I Love You would forever be known as his first single.

Silence decended over the band and Justin knew it was his time to talk. He'd asked to have a moment before the final song played, a moment to talk to the audience and make a special dedication. Management had suggested he not dedicate the song to anyone, to play up the available and looking for a soul mate angle, but Justin couldn't do that. Not anymore. He couldn't deny himself, or the world the whole story behind his success, the reason he was there on that stage in that arena performing for them. Yes, it would be a great disappointment to a lot of his fans, but he wasn't the type of person to hide who he was. To Justin, only people who were ashamed of themselves hid, he wasn't ashamed so he was certainly not going to hide anything.

He had a right to his own life.

"Good evening Memphis, how are ya'll doin tonight?" Justin had picked his hometown for his first concert for two reasons; one because he'd always dreamed about performing at the same venue he'd seen all of his favourite artists play, walk the same halls, perform on the same grounds as legends he'd grown up respecting. His second reason was more selfish, to prove to everyone who had told him he couldn't do it, that he wouldn't amount to anything, that he could, and he did. It was the final stage in saying good-bye to the boy he was and hello to the man he had become. He knew that everyone who was anyone in Memphis would be there that night, and Justin wanted to rub it in their faces that he'd done the impossible.

The crowd roared and Justin felt the goose bumps cover his skin. He paused dramatically which only caused them to scream louder and longer. Justin couldn't help but laugh, it was vastly different being on THIS side of things. When he'd waited long enough he continued.

"Well, I just wanted to thank everyone for coming out and spending this time with me. I appreciate your support and love you as much as you guys profess to love me. You do love me right? I think I heard something like that."

The audience roared in response, Justin felt it through his whole body down to his toes.

"Well, there's someone in particular that I wanted to tell I love them. Without this person, I wouldn't be standing here in front of you. Without him I would have been on a Greyhound bus from New York back here to Memphis long ago and probably working at the Eat N Park making hash browns and burgers for ya'll. So this is going to be my newest single, it's called Something Like You. Nickolas, I can't even tell you how much you mean to me, how proud of you I am and how grateful I am that God brought you into my life. I wrote this for you, baby. I love you."

Justin hadn't been exaggerating, it had been Nick that had made Justin who he was. They'd met two months after he'd gotten to New York. They'd been living in the same run down building just doors down from one another and they'd both been doing laundry at the same time. It was then they got to talking, and realized how much they had in common. It took two more months for them to realize that with the high rent they were each paying, they could probably get something at least a little better by combining their funds and moving to a different neighborhood. Three months after that, they were officially roommates.

It took less than six months after moving in together for the status of roommates to change to lovers. Boyfriends. Justin had found his soul mate. Nick was the most amazing, beautiful and wonderful person he'd ever met. In the beginning it had seemed too good to be true, but as time passed by, Justin realized just how good things were. Nick was studying to get his BA at NYU and Justin had forgone university trying to make it big singing. On days that Justin was hell bent on packing it up and going back home to Memphis, Nick reminded him why he'd come to New York. He'd told Justin one night that if you didn't have to work for your dreams, then what was the point? It meant more when you had to earn it because it made you appreciate the rewards more.

Rejection after rejection left Justin feeling hopeless, but it was Nick who would, despite his heavy coarse load on top of a part time job, always be there to cheer him up. Sometimes Justin would come home to flowers and candies laid out on the table for him, sometimes it would be Nick laid out on the bed for him, but it always ended with Nick whispering how much he loved Justin, how proud of Justin he was and how he knew one day that Justin would have everything he dreamed of and more. It was an unabashed and pure love and unwavering belief that Nick had for Justin. At every possible moment he could, Nick told Justin that he deserved everything he wanted, deserved the sun and the moon on a silver platter and if he had anything to do with it, Justin would get it.

Justin had never really known whether or not to believe Nick, but he always appreciated the optimism and his uncanny ability to make even the bleakest days shine bright. Little did he know that Nick would be right in the end.

I never wanted something more, and I've never felt so sure,
'Cause now I've got this chance to be, everything you saw in me
And even more than I ever dreamed before,
As long as you are here with me
I know that I can be something more

The day had started off like every other day that week. By the time Justin rolled out of bed Nick was long gone. He worked a few hours in the morning at a coffee shop, went to classes and then went back in the afternoon to work the rush hour when people were leaving their offices. Some days Justin wondered how Nick did it every day, putting in upwards of eighteen hour days at least six days a week. And through it all Nick remained smiling, never once complaining which was one of the reasons Justin was so proud of his lover. Justin had the same routine every morning.

Wake up.

Watch a half hour of TV.

Shower.

Get dressed.

Eat breakfast.

Watch more TV.

Go to the park.

Meet Nick between classes before going to work.

It was during his breakfast on that morning that the routine changed. The phone rang and Justin answered, pleased to hear Nick's voice on the other end of the line. "Hey baby," Justin said softly.

"You dressed?" Nick said quickly.

Justin looked down at his jeans and hoodie. "Yeah why?"

"You've got a meeting in fifteen minutes, wear what you're in. Just get down here NOW."

Justin's pulse began to race and his breakfast churned in his stomach. "What?"

"Get down to the coffee shop baby, do it. NOW. Don't ask questions just trust me."

Justin was out the door in less than two minutes, leaving all the lights and the TV on in his haste. The door was locked and that was all that mattered. Exactly fourteen minutes and forty-one seconds later he burst into the coffee shop three blocks away that Nick worked at. His eyes scanned the tiny shop, stopping at his boyfriend's blonde spikes and anxious expression on his face. He approached, surprised to hear the sentence uttered from the man who was standing with Nick.

"I'm impressed Coffee Boy. He made it, I didn't think he would."

Nick grinned, pulling Justin in close before kissing him full on the mouth. Justin was a little stunned and failed to return the kiss. "What's going on?" He asked when Nick pulled away. Justin was trembling from the rush of adrenaline pumping through his body.

"Well, a promise is a promise. I told you I'd listen if he could get here in fifteen minutes. You kept up your end of the bargain, now I'd be a bad business man if I didn't do the same." The man turned to face Justin, a warm smile on his face. "Hello, Johnny Wright, quite possibly your new manager. Well that is if you're as good as coffee boy here seems to think you are."

"Nick." Justin said, annoyed at the way this man was talking to and about Nick. "His name is Nick."

"I know." Was all Johnny said, amused. "Now sing."

Justin flashed Nick an awkward look to which Nick nodded at. "Come on, he's serious."

Justin's mind went blank before he opened his mouth and started singing the first thing that came to his mind. As if on cue, the whole coffee shop went silent and Justin's voice got louder, stronger, he could do this. He could feel everyone's eyes on him, but mostly he could feel Nick's. Justin could sense the pride in his lover, the love he was radiating and that only made him stronger. Justin sang until he was nearly hoarse.

Johnny looked stunned. "And you're not signed? You don't have representation?"

Justin shook his head. It was Nick who spoke. "Man, I told you no one will give him the time of day. He's got the pipes and they look at him like he's a leper. I don't fucking get it."

"I just don't believe it. He's exactly what I'm looking for." Johnny turned to Justin again. "Sing me something else, different genre."

Justin sang.

Johnny asked him to sing something else.

Justin sang again.

With each song, the patrons of the coffee shop applauded louder and longer.

Ten minutes later Justin not only had a manager, but he was going in to do some demo work. Nick had gotten him in the door, what he did when he stepped inside was up to him.

He'd wanted to make his Mama proud. He'd wanted to make everyone back home who said he couldn't do it not only proud, but jealous. But most of all he'd wanted to show Nick that he hadn't been wrong about him. No one had been more supportive or loving of him than Nick, the blonde never doubting for a second that he'd be famous one day. There were some days that Justin wondered if his faith was mislaid, that Nick was only feeling that way because he was biased.

It was there in the way Nick looked at him, the wistful look he'd get in his eyes as Justin would sing to him. It was there in the times Nick would drag him to Karaoke bars so he could practice in front of an audience, telling people that some day they'd be paying good money to listen to him sing, so they should enjoy it while it was free. As embarrassed as Justin would get on those nights, he'd be equally as touched that Nick believed in him THAT much.

Johnny handed Justin a card and wrote something on the back. "Here, when you call tomorrow morning, and call before 8 please, it'll be easier to squeeze you in if you call first thing. So when you call, mention what I've written on the back so they don't hang up on you. You would be amazed at how many people call saying that they were told to call to book demo time. Tell my secretary this, and she'll put you through to me." Johnny turned to Nick and smiled, shaking his hand. "Coffee Boy, you done good. I knew I've been nice to you for a reason all these years. I shoulda listened earlier. See you in the morning."

The moment Johnny was gone Justin turned to Nick. "What the hell was that?" He wasn't sure if he was upset or not, confused definitely. He hadn't known Nick knew producers and wondered why he hadn't said anything sooner.

"He's been coming in every day for years."

"Why didn't you say something? I would have come down to talk to him before..." Nick cut him off.

"You don't know Johnny, J. He never would have listened, hell he wouldn't have even stopped to get you out of his way..." Nick had to make him understand. "If he doesn't want to hear you, he won't. It's virtually impossible to get a meeting with him. You can't even begin to understand how many people see him in here and just start singing to him hoping he'll hook them up."

"Then how? When? What happened?" Justin wanted all the details.

"Every week I ask him if he's looking for new talent. Every week he says nothing, so I always say that I know someone, you. I'm not pushy when I bring it up, just sort of like 'oh by the way, I know a guy who can really sing.' I don't tell him that you're trying to get a contract and I don't tell him what our relationship is. Just that I know you. I make his coffee just the way he likes it and never give him extras. I don't want him to think that I'm trying to buy his attention. He gets that from people all the time, trying to pay for his coffee or buy him a muffin or square. So I ask him once a week, usually on Thursdays. Never more, never less. He always just looks at me and ignores me, or ignores my question anyways. He'll chat with me about anything except his work and talent. So today, same thing. He just looks at me and says 'Shit kid three years I've had to listen to this. Every damn Thursday, same one-sided conversation. When are you going to give it up?' I said I'd give it
 up when he gave me an answer. He said 'Fine, get them here in fifteen minutes and I'll listen. Can't be any worse than listening to you every week until I die.' Then I called you."

Justin couldn't believe that Nick had been at this for years. "Oh shit, you think he's pissed off?"

Nick shook his head. "I asked him that. I wanted to make sure he wasn't going to hold it against you that I'm a pushy motherfucker, he said no. He always thought it was funny that I'd bring it up without ever asking him for anything. I never once asked him to give you a listen, no one does that. They're too busy selling something to notice he's not buying. He said I intrigued him, that I must be so confident in your talent if I'm not doing the hard sell. Apparently he can tell by that sometimes whether or not the person is going to be good. If they're trying to convince you, then they know that they're not as strong a singer than if they just let the singing speak for itself. Do you know what I mean?"

Justin felt his eyes water and his hands tremble. He threw himself in Nick's arms, hugging his lover as tight as he could. "I can't believe this Nicky, that you've been working for three years at this. I don't know how many times I've gone down to this guy's studio and office to get him to listen to me. I never got past the front desk and now..." Before he could finish his sentence, Justin pulled Nick's mouth down for a long, emotionally charged kiss, sweeping his tongue deep into Nick's mouth. "I love you so much baby. I owe it all to you."

Nick kissed him back with as much passion and emotion, holding him as close to his body as he could. When they broke apart, Justin sighed. Nick kissed his forehead before speaking. You don't owe me anything Justin, you did this. YOU. It was your singing that got you the appointment tomorrow."

"But he never would have heard me if it weren't for you." They stared into each other's eyes for a moment until someone interrupted.

"Excuse me?"

Nick and Justin turned to look at the owner of the voice, unsure of what their reaction was going to be. "Yes?"

"I just wanted to say congratulations and good luck. You're really good. Much better than a lot of the garbage they're playing on the radio right now. And if Johnny Wright says you're what he's looking for, then you are definitely going places." The man gave them a nod and a smile before excusing himself and heading towards the door to outside.

Nick and Justin watched him go before looking at each other and letting out excited screams. They were jumping up and down, giggling and screaming, patrons of the coffee shop watching with amusement.

"Carter?" A yell came from behind the counter. Nick straightened up and calmed down, remembering he was supposed to be working.

"Shit. I gotta get back to work." He gave Justin a quick kiss on the jaw. "We're going to celebrate tonight. Call in sick for work or something."

"CARTER!" The voice yelled again, this time louder.

"Sorry Boss.." Nick scrambled to get behind the counter to where his boss was watching him, arms crossed over his chest.

"Get out of here."

"Huh?" Nick said, coming to a halt. "What?"

"I said get out of here."

Justin's heart was in his throat, his stomach churning. Surely Nick wasn't going to be fired, he hated to think that he was in trouble because of him.

"What's going on Howie? I still have..."

"There is no way you're going to want to be stuck in here with us when your boy just got a golden ticket to Hollywood. So rather than us torture you by making you work, we've given you the rest of the day off. Tomorrow too kid, you better be going down to Mr. Wright's office with him in the morning."

Both Justin and Nick visibly relaxed, relief overwhelming them. "Shit Howie, you fucking scared me. I thought you were firing me."

"Nope, not yet. Too much drama already today." Howie came around the counter and shook Justin's hand vigorously. "Congrats Kid. I knew it was only a matter of time before anyone discovered you, and I'm so fucking glad it was in here. Don't think that when your first single hits it big I won't be putting a framed picture of you up on the walls. Just to let people know that Justin Timberlake, THE Justin Timberlake was discovered right here in my coffee shop." Howie took a moment to survey the shop, watching as customers were all buzzing with the excitement that had just taken place. He turned back to Justin for a moment, a serious expression on his face. "There is one thing you need to do though."

Justin leaned in to listen to what Howie was about to say.

Howie extracted a card from his wallet and handed it to him. "This is the name and number for a friend of mine. He's a lawyer. I'm guessing you don't have one and I think you should, especially now. Kevin is a good friend of mine and you can trust him. I'm not saying that Johnny's people are crooks, but you just never know. Sometimes kids want it so bad that they don't read everything they should, and don't ask questions in case they lose what they are being offered. I'd hate to see that happen to you. So head over sometime today, I'll call Kev to let him know you're coming."

"I don't have a lot..."

"Of money. Of course you don't. It's okay. He owes me a favour and I'm sure I owe Nick a million for working as much as he does on such short notice, not to mention a million other things I can't think of right now. So don't worry about it until you're on your feet okay?" Justin nodded, a little shell shocked. "Okay, now you two kids get out of here. Carter, I'll call you on your cell phone when I get ahold of Kevin and tell you what time will be best to see him."

Minutes later Justin exited the same door he'd rushed through less than an hour earlier. His whole life had changed in the span of 60 minutes. He just hoped it lived up to everything he'd dreamed it to.

Looking back now it's so clear to me,
That you were sent to shape my destiny
'Cause there were times when I was ready to walk away,
But you gave me strength to face another day
I wanna take this time to thank you for the love you gave
And from this moment, you've got to know

It took half a song, exactly ninety seconds for Johnny and his team to make up their minds. Justin, if the terms of the contract met his approval, was officially a part of the Wright Stuff Recording family. They left Kevin, Justin and Nick alone for as long as they needed to go over the contract and make any possible revisions.

Two hours later they were ready to be seen once again.

Four signatures were necessary. Two by Wright Stuff Management, one by Justin and one by Kevin. History was being made. Justin officially had a recording contract. Minimal changes were made, all approved. Kevin and Johnny's lawyers had gone over things with a fine toothed comb not leaving any comma, semicolon or period unchecked. Justin was on his way to achieving dreams.

It was quite possibly the hardest and most frustrating thing he'd ever had to endure. Without realizing it, Justin had a very glorified image of what making an album was going to be like. He assumed they would go into a studio, he would sing a few songs and they would make the CD. Months later it would be out in the record stores and a tour would start. It was nothing like that, not in the least.

The first thing they wanted to do was decide what Justin would be singing and who they wanted to write them songs. Thankfully, Johnny sounded positive when Justin brought him some of the material he'd written over the years. Justin had heard about artists bringing in their own work only to be told that nothing could be used and the management team wanted professionals, at least the first time around.

With one look at Justin's material, Johnny had agreed that he had skills and although it was suggested he work with someone else, a professional song writer, his stuff was good enough to potentially make the cut.

Days were long, nights were longer and Justin found that he was more tired now than he had been before. For some reason he thought it would be the opposite, that he would have had more time on his hands to do what had to be done. The first suggestion made by Johnny was that Justin see a vocal coach.

"Why do I need a vocal coach? You said you loved my voice."

That garnered a laugh from the table. "Justin, you have to understand that it's a part of the process. Yes, you've got a beautiful voice, but you have to learn how to breathe, how to sing without ruining your vocal cords. You will see someone."

One session with the vocal coach only further dampened Justin's spirits. His technique was all wrong, his voice was too strained and he 'whined too much' while singing. Justin had never in his life had anyone critique his singing and so the constructive criticisms hit him a little harder than they should have. It seemed that every time he did anything he was being told he was doing it wrong and there were days that he wondered why he'd even tried in the first place.

"I can't do this baby, I'm sorry I let you down but I can't." Justin whimpered, curling himself into a ball on the bed. Nick was standing in front of the body length mirror, getting ready to go into work. He still worked at the coffee shop in the morning, but had to take a higher paying job at nights to make up for the money that Justin wasn't bringing in since he'd quit his job. They knew that in the long run, Justin would be making more than they'd ever be able to imagine, but for the time being their income had been drastically cut. Nick's head turned around, his face a mask of sympathy.

"Oh J. You're too hard on yourself. You do realize that if they didn't think you could do this, they would have cut you off by now. They can do that, Kevin told us that in the meeting. They reserved the right to be able to end your contract if at any point in recording the first CD it's clear that it isn't going to work. Yeah, they'd have to pay you a shit load of money, but I'm sure they would do that rather than risk putting out a really shitty album that will lose them more money in the end." Nick approached the bed, curling up behind Justin and pulling him close to his body.

"I just... why did I ever think I could do this? They're always telling me to do this.. or do that.. or my voice is too this or not enough of that... Why is it so hard for them to tell me that I'm doing a good job?"

Nick kissed the back of Justin's neck hoping to calm his lover down. "Baby, they know you can sing. And they know YOU know that you can sing. So it's not going to help you if they are always telling you how good you are. They need to make you a better singer, a stronger singer. You're going to get a lot of criticism from people, you can't stop that. But you have to know that they're not doing this to hurt you, it's to help you. So listen to what they're saying. Use it to get better so that when you are up there doing your thing, making videos and winning awards you know that you had the best team of people behind you pushing you to get there. Don't look at them as telling you what you can't do, but what you CAN do. What you're capable of if you just open your mind to it."

That night had been just one more reason that Justin loved Nick more than anything in his life. He knew exactly what it was that Justin needed to hear and would tell him, always showing his utter devotion and faith in him. Not once would Nick allow Justin to settle for anything less than what he deserved, even when Justin himself didn't believe he was worthy of it. The next day Justin had gone in, a completely different attitude and outlook on the process. When his vocal coach gave him a suggestion, rather than immediately raising his defenses, Justin nodded and listened to her. Within her suggestion there was always a compliment, a gentle prodding to think outside the box, to push himself just that little bit further. And then the next time she'd push him to go one step further than that. As they continued, Justin's voice matured to something even he hadn't been aware was possible.

There were times that they didn't see each other for days at a time. When Nick was home from school and work, Justin would be out, and when Justin had come home for a few hours to get some sleep and relax, Nick would be at class or work. Yet as busy as they both were, they found time to miss each other desperately. Justin was thankful that Nick was the type of person who could handle not being together all the time. If days went by without them seeing each other for more than five minutes, Justin knew that Nick wasn't resenting him for following his dreams. And it was the same for Justin. He knew how important graduating on the Dean's List was for Nick and with six weeks left of his programme, convocation was in arms reach for the blonde.

Not a day went by without Justin finding some note or gift left by Nick, a reminder that he loved him and was proud of him. The presents always left Justin's pulse racing and his heart full with love. That was why breaking Johnny's news to him was eating at Justin from the inside out. He had left a note with Nick to say that he missed and loved him and wanted to have dinner with him. He'd been given the night off and had asked if Nick could not have to work that night. They went to their favourite restaurant, a night to rekindle their romantic sides. Nick knew something was wrong before Justin had even started.

"What's up J? Why do you look so lost?"

Justin had to tell him, no matter how much it hurt. The last thing he wanted was for Nick to be disappointed in him. He'd worked so hard to make the blonde proud of him, and now that they were nearly at the end of recording it was all falling to pieces around him. "I have something to tell you and I don't want to hurt you." Justin saw the concern in Nick's blue eyes and winced.

"What's wrong?" Nick bit his lip nervously. Justin could tell he was trying hard not to panic.

"So I was talking to Johnny the other day and we got to talking about image. About what type of image I wanted to convey."

"And?" Nick had an idea of where this was going, Justin could tell. No answer was forthcoming and Nick sighed. "And I don't fit into the picture right?" Justin's heart broke at the sadness in Nick's eyes. The blonde tried to pull his hand away but Justin wouldn't let go.

"According to them you don't."

"I'll always be your biggest fan, Baby. I don't have to be at your side to love you the way I do." Tears were welling up at the corner of Nick's eyes and he blinked which only caused for them to fall down his cheeks. "You will..." Nick let out a soft sob which caused for Justin's eyes to tear up as well. "You will keep in touch with me though right? We can still be friends? I mean after I get over how much it hurts and can be in the room with you without wanting to.."

Justin paled and felt his stomach lurch. Nick thought he was picking the contract. Of course Nick thought that, he knew how much this had meant to him, how he'd changed his whole life to come out to New York and follow his dream. What Nick didn't know was that somewhere along the way, somewhere in the four years since they'd met and he'd fallen in love with Nick while waiting for his big moment Justin's dreams had changed. They still included making music and becoming famous, but now that dream included Nick. And it wouldn't be the same without the one person who had always been by his side. "You don't understand, Baby."

Nick stopped, gasping for a breath. Justin watched as he reached up and wiped a few tears from his eyes. "What don't I understand?"

"I told them no. If they were going to make me choose them or you, I can't not have you by my side. I can't do this without you so either they take both of us, or neither."

Nick sighed before he shook his head. "You can't do that J. You can't sacrifice your dreams for me. I won't let you. I don't want to be the one thing that stood in your way."

It hurt Justin to see Nick in such obvious pain. "It's too late. We had the meeting today." Justin leaned across the table and took Nick's lips with his own kissing him between tears and sobs. "I told them I wasn't going to give you up for anything."

"And?"

"They said..." Justin sighed and focused on a point on the wall beyond Nick's shoulder. "They said they said that they couldn't make any promises. It was suggested we keep our relationship on the down low, at least in the beginning and then go from there. But I told them I wasn't going to lie. I won't betray who I am or what we have for them."

Nick shut his eyes tightly hung his head low. "Babe, you know that no matter what I'm going to be proud of you. I'll love you endlessly and unconditionally."

"I know and that's the reason I can't give this up. That's the reason I don't want to. You are the reason I'm doing this, you are the reason I'm here. If it weren't for you, I'd have gone home ages ago Nicky. Four years. Four years it took for me to get this far and... I just learned a lot along the way. I grew up and my priorities have changed. My life has changed. Please, you have to understand that I've thought long and hard about this. This issue has been on the table for weeks, months even, Baby. I have spent hours and hours a day weighing this out in my mind, wondering what the fuck I'm going to do. And then I realized I already knew, I always did. If I can't do this with you, I can't do it at all."

"You may feel that way now, but I know that you'd be able to do it without me..."

Justin shook his head. "I don't want to. It's not a matter of being able to it's a matter of doing it, and I won't."

Dinner was long forgotten as they asked for the bill. Justin barely remembered the trip home focused only on the upcoming months and knowing that it was going to be harder than anything they'd had to endure up until now. Although Johnny hadn't been thrilled when Justin had countered his ultimatum with one of his own, he had agreed with stipulations. One being that if Justin's sexuality became too much of a liability he would be cut from the label. Justin knew the terms of the agreement and decided to take the chance.

Nick was the type of person who stood up for what he believed in, for what he was entitled to. He wasn't afraid to ask for what he wanted and fight for what he deserved. That was probably the most important thing that Justin learned from him. You had to risk big to win big, and his first display of this had been earlier that day in Johnny's office. It could have blown up in his face and been the final nail in his coffin with the record executives, but Justin was confident that his talent would override their false sense of anxiety. There would be a group of people who would be offended by his sexuality, but those weren't the people Justin was singing for, those weren't his target audience. He didn't want to associate with homophobic, narrow minded ignorant people and anyone who judged him on who he loved was just that. Justin had informed them of this to be told that 'you can't decide who your audience is.' Justin didn't care.

As he had hoped they would, Johnny and his people saw Justin's talent as priceless and so he used that to his advantage. Promises were made and timelines were set out. Although they hoped he would keep his relationship with Nick silent forever, they knew he wouldn't. "At least wait until you've hit number 1 before dropping the bomb on them."

Justin could do that.


I'm reaching for the sky, won't let this chance go by
I've waited all my life for something more,
And now's the time you're gonna see,
From this moment you're gonna know
You make me want to be something more
You make me want to be something more


Justin couldn't help but flinch as the audience became silent. They were eerily silent for a crowd it's size. For a moment, he almost thought that time had stopped and he was the only one moving, but as he looked down at the people in the front row and watched them twitching nervously he realized that no, time hadn't stopped. No one knew how to react, most of all Justin.

"J, keep going. They're waiting for you to react." Justin heard Johnny's voice in his ear piece. He had expected the older man to be angry or resentful, instead his voice was gentle and soothing. Still, he couldn't move. It wasn't until he heard the next voice in his ear that he regained usage of his motor skills.

"Baby, I love you too. I love you so fucking much and I know you can't see or hear it but people are talking and it's okay. You're okay baby. Now sing." Nick had wanted to sit up in the front but thought it would be less distracting if he was far enough back that Justin couldn't visibly see him. So for that, he was with a group of their friends about thirty rows back.

The music started and Justin began singing, forgetting the silence that was still ringing in his ears, the look of shock mixed with confusion on peoples faces and the bare vulnerability that revealing such an intimate part of his life in front of thousands of people had left him feeling. He knew his voice was trembling, partially due to the emotion behind this song and partially due to the reaction his 'coming out' had garnered. If all else he'd be reading about it in the papers the next day, finding out exactly how people felt about it and him.

The final notes of the song played and Justin walked to the front of the stage, bowing gracefully for his audience. Justin was surprised when the crowd roared in applause and cheers, everyone jumping to their feet to thank him. Signs were waving in the crowds and Justin's skin pricked with goose bumps.

People were shouting their love and appreciation for him, despite his revelation. Justin knew that come morning, people might not be as favourable but for right now, he was elated. Walking on air. Overcome with relief.

It took less than twenty seconds after he'd reached his dressing room for people to catch up with him. His bodyguard cocked an eyebrow, silently asking what to do.

"Nick and Johnny. And Kevin. Only Nick, Johnny and Kevin for right now. Everyone else can wait."

"What about your Mama?"

Justin laughed at the seriousness with which the man asked the question. He had a point. "Dear Lord, and my Mama. You know she'll have both our asses if we don't let her in."

They both knew the truth in that statement.

One by one the only four people allowed in Justin's dressing room were escorted in. "Oh baby, I'm so proud of you." Lynn Harless cooed, pulling her precious son into her arms and against her chest. "My eyes were tearing up and I swear I nearly broke Nickolas's hand when everyone was silent."

Justin looked at Nick who raised his arm showing his sore hand in agreement. "She's a lot stronger than she looks." The room burst into nervous laughter. It was when they'd calmed down a little that Justin turned to Johnny.

"So?"

"Well, we can do this one of two ways. You can meet up with everyone now, you know they're chomping at the bit to do an interview, we can go into one of the rooms and do a press conference there or you can wait. It's your choice kid."

Justin raised an eyebrow in surprise that Johnny wasn't telling him what he should do. "I can decide?"

His manager raised his hands in defense. "I've long since learned that you do what you want. It's easiest for me to sit back and wait for the aftermath."

Justin looked at Kevin and then Nick. "So? What do you think?"

Nick shrugged and Kevin smiled. "Well, if you do it now you'll get everyone done at once. Of course no matter what you do it's all anyone's going to be talking about. So really you have to decide how to approach it."

"I say do it." Nick spoke softly. "Beats having them write whatever they want. Besides, it'll take like a half an hour then we can go and celebrate."

There was another show the next night in Memphis, Justin had informed his management team that both of his opening shows were to be in his hometown. His single had been on the top of the charts, his video on heavy rotation at MTV and people were drinking his CD in at an overwhelming rate. Justin could have asked them pretty much anything and they would have agreed. Because Nick had finished his degree two months earlier, he'd decided to put looking for a real job off until things had gotten settled with Justin. They'd both wanted him to be able to tour with the band for a while until Nick had a chance to figure out what he wanted to do in the long run. For right now, they wanted to enjoy everything as best they could, together.

"Tell them I'll be in momentarily please." Justin said softly. He nodded towards the door indicating that he needed some time alone. When Nick made a move to exit Justin pulled him back. "Stay."

Lynn smiled at her son, kissing his cheek softly. "I'm proud of you Baby, no matter what happens."

"Thanks Mama."

"We'll be outside waiting."

Everyone exited the room leaving Nick and Justin alone for the first time all day. Nick was the first to speak. "Wow. I can't believe you did that."

Justin blushed. "You knew I was, didn't you?" When Nick shook his head negatively Justin's jaw dropped open. He'd have thought someone would have warned Nick he was going to do it. Apparently not. "No one told you?"

"Nope. I was sitting there and then you started talking. Your mother asked me if I knew what you were doing but I had no idea. I cried, fuck it was so embarrassing." Both men giggled and Justin pulled Nick into his arms. "I don't know baby, I was so thrilled and scared at the same time. I asked Johnny afterwards if he knew you were going to do it, and he said yes. He would have told me but thought it would be better if it were a surprise."

Sometimes Johnny's sentimentality surprised Justin. It wasn't something that he ever expected, but then times like this he would do something that would throw him off. Justin's lips curled into a smile as he nuzzled his lover's neck playfully.

"You do know that what I said was true right? How without you this wouldn't have ever happened. That it's because of you I am who I am right now."

Nick blushed and Justin kissed his mouth passionately. Their lips parted and Justin's tongue dipped into Nick's mouth, gently coaxing his tongue out to play. Nick whimpered into the kiss as Justin's hands wove into his hair, massaging his scalp.

"You give and give so much without ever taking. You've never asked for more than I can give, but pushed me to be more than I thought I could be. And what really made me realize it was when I told you in the restaurant that day, when I'd told you their ultimatum and you were willing to let me go. I could see how much it was killing you, but still you put my needs ahead of yours. You were going to sacrifice your happiness for mine and that's when I knew I couldn't ever live my life without you in it. Yes, I'd take being your friend over nothing, but I could never live with being your friend when I know that we've always been more than that. That we are destined to be more and I won't settle for less."

Justin was aware at how the clock was ticking and that he should rightfully go out and give the press conference he knew was waiting for him, but this wasn't something he wanted to rush. "I just love you so much and I want you to have the world."

"I always have." Justin kissed the tip of Nick's nose before pulling away. "And I wanted to share that with everyone else. They can't know the real me until they know about you. I never wanted to lie about my sexuality so I've been skirting around the issue, now I don't have to. I'm not ashamed of you, of what we have."

They remained silent for a few more minutes, enjoying what might be the last few quiet moments for months. Finally they knew it was time to emerge. "Johnny and Kev are probably having a conniption a piece out there," Justin laughed as he tugged on Nick's arm. They walked to the door and both inhaled deeply.

"Are you ready?" Nick asked, squeezing Justin's hand. He received a nod from the younger man. "Remember, I love you."

"I love you too Nicky." Justin paused, pulling Nick's arm back. "You'll go out there with me right? You'll come in to the press conference?"

"Of course. You want me to sit with you?"

Justin thought about it for a moment. Two moments. At the third he shook his head. "I should do this alone."

"You never have to do anything alone." Nick's eyes held a truth in them that Justin felt himself getting lost in.

"I know."

Justin opened the door to the hallway, the once silent room now filled with chaotic noise. Justin turned to look at Nick only to find Nick watching at him. Their eyes met and both men smiled as they took a deep breath.

"You ready?" Nick asked softly.

"Ready to face the world."

Hand in hand, heads high they walked towards the room that had been appointed for the press conference. He'd just finished the first concert of his first tour celebrating his debut CD, all with his soul mate standing by his side, his own personal guardian angel. Justin was on top of the world and nothing was going to bring him down.

Finis


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