Part 28: Endlessly

Tell me what you find
Up in the open sky
I only hope you know
How hard it is letting go

A loud cheer erupted from one of the recording studios, followed closely by the distinct sound of a cork being popped from a champagne bottle. It was finished. Finally. After so many months of blood sweat and tears, the CD was ready to be sent for production. And thus, this marked the first night off for a week. Normally, a week wouldn't sound like all that much, but knowing how much they'd been through to get this done, and how few days off they actually had, a week was heaven. Not to mention how little time off they were going to be getting in the upcoming months, with promotion for the CD, rehearsals for the tour and then the tour itself. So basically, this was going to be the last of the down time they were going to see for a while. "I can't believe it's fucking done." AJ hollered, jumping playfully onto Brian's back, wrapping his arms around the older man's neck.

"I know. I never thought we'd actually get to this point." Howie agreed, falling back on the couch and relaxing completely. He closed his eyes, only to jump when he felt someone jump on him.

"No sleeping D. We're having a party tonight and you're all expected to be there." Nick straddled the older man, crossing his arms over his chest and staring down at him. He watched Howie shake his head, ready to protest. "No excuses Howard. Kevin and I told you all that tonight we are going to be having a big party at the club. The upstairs is by invitation only, and what kind of party would it be if not all of the guests of honours were going to be there?" The week before, Kevin and Nick had been curled up in bed discussing what was going to happen when the album was finished and they had to go back out on the road. When they had to get back to their regular lives. Neither had come to any ground breaking revelations at that point, but Kevin had suggested that they have a party. Sort of a CD release slash wedding reception party. Instantly, Nick had agreed that the idea was perfect and they'd started making a list. The downstairs would go on as per the normal Friday night activities. The Lair on the other hand, would be it's usual VIP, invitation only, but not including it's normal activities. The guests would be dressed as they wished, the setting a party rather than a Fetish club. Anyone who was anyone inside their inner circle would be invited, and it would be a great chance for them to share with those people their plans. They were going to discuss how things would run while they were gone, and just everything that they hadn't been able to share before now.

Invitations had gone out the next day, Kevin and Nick spending the night pouring over who they wanted there and why. RSVPs were requested and pretty much everyone who was invited accepted, stating that they would be more than happy to attend the party. It was going to be a means for them to blow off steam, relaxing from months of hard work and effort put into recording the new album, as well as seeing their closest friends to celebrate.

"I don't know Nicky. I'm thinking I'm just going to go home and take a bath. Watch a movie." Howie faked a yawn as he tried to stifle a giggle.

"Are you serious D?" Nick pouted, looking at Kevin for support. When he received a shrug from his lover he looked back down at the man below him.

"Yeah. Brian said he was going to come over and braid my hair." That was the breaking point for Howie and he instantly started to laugh. The others joined in and Nick growled, attacking the older man by tickling him and making him laugh harder.

"You're a fucking asshole, you know that Howie?!" Nick spat out, laughing as well. Tears were streaming down Howie's face from laughing so hard, and Nick found himself on the floor, Howie successfully squirming free and throwing him off.

"Of course we're going to be there Nick. Kevin said that we should get there sometime after 10ish!" Brian laughed, moving over to help Nick off of the floor. It was nearly 6, giving them four hours to do whatever they had to do before making their way to the club.

"Yeah. We'll be there early of course, but whenever you guys make it is fine with us." Kevin said, downing the remainder of his champagne. It was definitely going to be an interesting night. He and Nick had a lot of things that they were going to share with everyone. There were some people that were going to be there that knew more than others, and so it was time to finally bring all of the important people in their lives up to speed. So some of the revelations that night were going to be a big shock to some, neither Nick nor Kevin knowing how they would receive the information, but needing them to know all the same. Both of them were tired of hiding who they were from the important people, and they'd both discussed their relationship as well as their club, coming to the conclusion that as long as they had each other, Kyle and Billy and the other guys, nothing else mattered.

They hung out at the studio until about 6:30, wanting to make sure they'd gotten everything they'd left there

for the previous few months. They could always go back and pick it up in the days following, but after spending so much time there, that was the last place they wanted to be if they really didn't have to be.

"What are you thinking about baby?" Kevin asked as they climbed into his car after everyone had gone their separate ways.

"Tonight. I'm excited. Nervous but excited." Nick felt Kevin take his hand and he squeezed it gently. "Do you think that this is smart?"

"Well. Let's just enjoy ourselves. They all think that they're just coming for a party. If we get there and we decide that we don't want to talk about anyone or anything, we can just keep quiet and they won't know. But if we do want to tell them everything, then that's fine too."

Nick loved how Kevin always knew the exact right thing to say to ease his fears and calm his nerves. He just attributed his anxiety to them finishing the CD and the press tour that was to begin the following week. He knew that this CD had to do really well, as the critics had already predicted that it was going to be a flop. It had been too long since they'd put out any new material. They were has beens. Washed out. OVER. Of course, they'd also said that before Millennium had been released, and that CD went to break all records previously set. But there was always that slim chance that they wouldn't repeat that success, and that was what Nick was most nervous about. That all their hard work and effort had been for nothing. Kevin's voice broke through his thoughts and Nick jerked back to attention. "What Kev?"

"Where were you right then?"

"Just thinking. What did you say?"

"What time are you picking up Billy?" Nick had decided that he was going to take Billy to the party that night and Kevin was going to take Kyle. It was going to be sort of like a double date, but not. Ultimately, they'd be there all together, but it had been a while since he'd done anything with Billy, and after making sure that it was okay with Kevin, he'd called Billy and asked him on a date. For the party. Kevin had agreed, excited to have Kyle all to himself for the night.

"Nine. I want to be at the club for nine thirty." Nick smiled, realizing they were at his house. "I guess this is me." He giggled as Kevin rolled his eyes.

"I'm picking up Kyle at nine too, so we'll probably meet you there around the same time." Kevin said, leaning over to kiss Nick's lips tenderly. He moaned as Nick deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue past Kevin's teeth to lick playfully against his tongue. They continued on with the kiss for a few more minutes, neither wanting to let go right away.

"Come inside Kev." Nick moaned as Kevin's mouth moved down his jaw to his throat. He reached over to palm Kevin's erection through his jeans, feeling the heat escape the denim.

"I can't baby. We'll never be ready in time if I come inside." His hips moved of their own volition, thrusting against Nick's hand which was massaging him harder, bringing him closer to his orgasm. He felt rather than heard Nick's sigh of disappointment, mirroring his own.

"You suck." Nick pouted, pulling away. That elicited a loud whimper from Kevin, who tried to scoot closer, wanting Nick to continue.

"Only if you ask politely." Kevin tried to joke, grabbing Nick's hand and placing it over his erection. "Now Nicky... You started something there... you not going to finish it?"

"You not coming in?" Nick's eyes were defiant, an evil twinkle in their blue depths.

"Fine. I'll see you later." With that, Kevin gave Nick a fleeting kiss on the lips and reached over him to open the passenger side door. Nick sat in amazement, figuring that Kevin would go inside with him, not stop things completely. "Bye baby." Giving Nick a little push, he fought back the laughter at the confusion in Nick's eyes.

"That's it? Bye baby and push me out the door?"

"Pretty much blondie. You could have got me off in here, but you were greedy and wanted me to come in. Now you get nothing." Kevin smirked, starting the motor. "Now. I'm going to go home and get myself off. And then I'm going to go to my date's house and pick him up. So ...I'll see you later Nicky."

Nick simply stood in his driveway, achingly hard and jaw gaping open. He stood there until he felt his phone vibrating against his thigh from where it was resting in his pocket. "Hello?"

"You look like a fucking idiot standing there staring down the street. I'm not coming back. Go inside and get ready. Maybe if you're nice I'll save it and wait for you to cum."

Nick groaned as he headed up the stairs to his front door. "You're such a fucking liar Kev. The first thing you're going to do is walk in your front door. Then you'll strip and then head into your bedroom." As Nick spoke, he mirrored his words with his actions, doing just that. "You'll leave a trail of clothes as you go and end up sprawled on your bed, legs spread apart, cock so fucking hard it hurts." Nick heard a soft moan coming from the other end and knew he had his lover's attention. Grasping his own erection in his hand he continued. "And then you're going to relax, so every part of your body is loose, except for your cock. You'll rub your right hand up and down your chest and stomach, feeling how smooth and hot your skin is. Finally, it'll make it down to your cock and you'll grasp it, pumping it slowly at first."

"Oh yeah? What would I do next? What are YOU going to do next?" Kevin knew Nick was right. Exactly right down to the very last detail. It was what he'd been planning on doing, as it was what he always did when he was hard and didn't have anyone to assist him. Sometimes, he'd even done it with Nick there, waiting in the shadows of the bedroom, watching. Kevin found that he came harder on those occasions, knowing that Nick was watching him get himself off a more powerful aphrodisiac than anything else he'd known.

"Well, you like to use your pre cum as lube. I know how you like to work yourself with your own cum. Natural lubrication is better than anything else in the world isn't it Kev?"

"God yeah Nicky.... Fuck.." Nick could hear the slamming of a car door and knew that Kevin was home. A door opened and slammed shut in the background and Nick could hear Kevin wrestling with his clothes.

"Just when you can't take anymore, you like to reach down and finger yourself. Not actually putting the fingers into your ass, but just teasing it. Rimming it slowly. Your hand jerking faster and harder on your cock...."

"No time for that baby.... too hard. Want to cum too badly." Kevin grunted, stroking his erection fast and hard. He'd started stripping as soon as his front door closed, and he raced up the stairs to his bed, wanting to catch up to where Nick was. It didn't take long for him to get to the point where he was about to cum.

"Oh ..in that case, you'd just fuck yourself with your fingers. No lube. No nothing. Just the exquisite pain of a dry finger fuck while your other hand strokes your cock furiously..."

That was all that Nick could get out, the sounds of Kevin masturbating on the other end of the phone line overwhelming him. Both men were reduced to grunting and whimpering noises until finally Nick came with a loud roar. His eyes slammed shut and he was bathed in white hot bliss, his body trembling violently. Vaguely, he could hear Kevin reaching his own orgasm on the other end, but couldn't bring himself to say anything other than a few nonsensical words.

Kevin was the first to recover. "Fuck Nicky. That was good."

"Uh-huh."

"Babe?"

"Uh-huh."

Kevin giggled, stretching out on his bed like a cat. His whole body felt boneless. "I'll see you in a few hours."

"Uh-huh."

And I will pray for you and me
that our love lives on endlessly
through all of time we will endure
we are earth and sea
endlessly

Nick was at Billy's house at five before nine, surprised that he'd made it on time. After his conversation with Kevin, he'd laid on his bed for approximately half an hour, unable to move a muscle. He simply laid there with a grin on his face, his eyes focused on a spot on the ceiling. When he'd finally made it into the shower, he let his body soak, not leaving until he felt it was absolutely necessary. From there he got dressed which only left him enough time to get to Billy's to pick him up. On the way over, he'd called the other man and asked him to make him something to eat, as he hadn't exactly had time for dinner.

"So.. Too busy fucking to eat?" Billy asked, laughing at the expression on Nick's face when he opened the door.

"Excuse me William. I'll have you know that Kevin got ready at his own house thank you very much!" Nick pretended to sound offended, brushing past the brunette to go towards the kitchen. He heard Billy laugh and close the door, following him into the kitchen. When he turned around, Nick saw Billy leaning against the

fridge, arms crossed over his chest, a knowing smile on his face. Blushing, Nick averted his eyes.

"Too busy fucking to eat?"

"Not exactly." Nick laughed as he dug into the pasta that Billy had prepared for him. "I started some shit in the car and then got pissy when Kevin wouldn't come in. He kicked me out of the car and drove off, but then called back and we had phone sex. Well phone masturbation..." Nick paused to bring a fork full of spaghetti to his lips, eating the mouthful before continuing. "And well... I laid on the bed for a while afterwards..."

"...." Billy moved to ask him what he was doing but stopped.

"Just staring at the ceiling." It was as if Nick knew what he was going to say. "And ...well fuck. Leave me alone," Nick said, pretending to pout. He held out a fork full of pasta, putting it into his own mouth when Billy shook his head.

Approaching Nick, Billy laughed and said, "I knew it had something to do with sex and Kevin. Kyle called and said that Kevin was going to stop on the way for something to eat. He hadn't had dinner either...." Billy gave Nick a kiss, licking the marinara sauce from his lips before pulling away. "You can eat that in the car. We've got to go."

Nick nodded, grinning through a mouthful of pasta. "You are such a child Nicky." Billy laughed, smacking Nick's ass playfully.

"None of that tonight William. We've got guests tonight and we've all got to be on our best behaviour." Nick wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Billy grabbed Nick's car keys, and slid into the driver's seat.

As they pulled into the parking lot of the club, both men were surprised at the line up that had already formed to get in. It was only a quarter to ten and there were easily a few hundred people there. Being an old warehouse building, they had a high capacity, but for that many people to be in line before the club opened was odd. "I think it's because there's a private function upstairs. Your parties are legendary Nick." Billy said when he saw the look on Nick's face. When their eyes met Billy nodded. "Yeah. You saw how packed the downstairs was for Kyle's birthday. Not to mention all the other events that we've had."

"Nick! Billy!" Sid greeted them as they reached the front door. Nick had left the Tupperware containers in the jeep, and thus the fingers of his right hand were laced with those of Billy's left.

"Sid. What's up man?" Nick asked, wondering why he was outside already.

"Not much. Kev opened the doors a little early tonight. Thought it would be easier than keeping everyone out here." Nick nodded at Sid's explanation. It made perfect sense.

"A lot of people here?"

Sid shrugged. "Yeah. Mostly regulars upstairs though. No special guests or faces I didn't recognize. Downstairs is relatively busy. We've been sending in a few at a time."

"Just because we can." Billy finished, causing a round of laughter to erupt.

"Exactly." Sid answered, with a grin. "Now get inside. Kevin said that when you guys got here to go right upstairs."

"So demanding." Nick joked, clapping the bouncer on the shoulder affectionately. "If you have any problems or want to switch with Marco upstairs, let us know and we'll get him to relieve you."

"Sounds good boss." Sid answered, checking the ID's of the next people in line, waving them through after handing it back to them. They made their way through the small crowd of people that had already gathered and headed up the stairs to the Lair. With a nod to Marco, they entered the lair, shocked at the transformation of the place. Derrick had enlisted in the help of a few of the main servants from the Lair and told Nick and Kevin not to worry about decorating. They wanted the party to be thrown FOR Nick and Kevin rather than by them so that they could fully enjoy the evening. And so for that reason, neither men were allowed to arrive to the club before 9.

The couches and plush chairs were arranged along the far wall, giving people a place to go for more intimate conversation. The beds were gone making room for tables and chairs and the chains attached to the walls had been removed, giving the Lair a completely different look. Even walking into the spacious room, both Nick and Billy could feel the change in atmosphere, both men shivering.

"This is creepy." Billy commented, blinking at how bright the lights were. Actually, it wasn't that the lights were bright, it was just that they weren't dim, giving the room it's usual shady atmosphere. Nick giggled causing him to giggle as well, their hands clutching tighter.

"I know." Nick looked around and spotted Kevin and Kyle at the bar, talking to Colin with ease. Just as he found them, Kevin turned his head and their eyes met, Kevin beckoning them over with a nod of his head. "Oh look. There they are. Let's go there." Nick greeted both Kevin and Kyle with lingering kisses, tongues barely touching before breaking apart.

"Anyone else find this weird?" Kyle asked softly, not wanting to offend the few that had spent all day decorating.

"Creepy was Billy's word actually." Nick whispered back, winking at Colin. Seeing the other man blush, Nick remembered what had happened the last time they'd been at the club. It had been almost a week and a half since that night, and a smile covered Nick's face. He'd had a lot to drink, celebrating his and Kevin's success in getting AJ and JC together and had practically swallowed the other man whole, kissing him so intensely. Nick felt his dick harden at the memory of Colin trembling in his arms. "And how are you tonight gorgeous?"

Colin blushed and looked down. "Great Nick. Thanks."

Nick reached over to lift Colin's chin, forcing him to look up. "I meant what I said. I am going to find you someone." He dragged his thumb across the other man's lower lip, moaning as Colin's tongue darted out to lick it. When Colin spoke, it was breathless.

"Okay."

"Okay then." Nick winked at the bartender before withdrawing his hand. There were people waiting for drinks and Colin needed to focus his attention on the guests. In all, there were perhaps 70 people invited up to the Lair. Fifty or so servants, both Nick and Kevin's, as well as other close friends.

Brian and Leighanne were the first to arrive, both looking relaxed and unbelievably happy. It truly was amazing for Kevin and Nick to have watched how things had changed so drastically since she had found out about Brian's sexual extracurricular activities. Rather than using that as a force to drive them apart, both Leighanne and Brian had sat down and realized that it was something to bring them closer together. It had taken her a little while to fully grasp what Brian's motives and reasons for doing what he did, but once she had understood that it didn't have anything to do with what she wasn't giving him, rather than what he liked. As they watched Brian and Leighanne approach Gina and Christopher, they were shocked to see the four of them talking and laughing, as if Brian wasn't fucking both of them on a semi regular basis.

Howie was the next to arrive. He had opted to come alone as he was sure that he had some sort of idea what was going on that night. Although they hadn't exactly told the guys what was going on, there was a hint of how emotional things might get. Nick and Kevin had informed them that it was going to be a night to clear the air. A new CD was being released for a new chapter of their lives and thus they were going to be reborn. They wanted a clean slate, and for that reason, the guest list had been limited. They were going to be having the official Jive CD release party in a few months, so family and not so close friends would be able to attend that. This was for them. And just them.

AJ was escorted into the Lair, his arm linked with Lynz's. On her other arm, JC was her other escort, all three smiling widely. AJ would have brought JC even if he hadn't have been invited on his own with Lynz. Now that they were together, JC was part of the inner circle, so he was privy to anything that was going on with the group. AJ had gone to JC's place earlier to pick his boyfriend up, not surprised at all to find Lynz already there. JC had told him that he was going to have his talk with her there rather than at the club, wanting the privacy to fully discuss the situation with her. He'd been a little worried upon entering JC's kitchen, where they were seated at the table drinking wine, but as soon as he'd been spotted, Lynz was off her chair and embracing him tightly. She'd told AJ in private, when JC had gone upstairs to shut everything off and close up, that it had been along time since she'd seen JC this happy and was glad that they'd found each other. Once the three of them were together, Lynz also informed AJ that whenever he was ready, she was open and willing to help him any way he wanted in understanding their lifestyle. If all he wanted was a taste, that's what she would give him, but if he was willing to fully submerge himself in the practice of bondage and S&M, she would gladly train him.

Kevin turned to face Nick, a wave of butterflies invading his stomach. "Are you sure we can do this?"

Nick untangled his arms from around Billy's waist, placing a gentle kiss on the back of the brunette's neck. He then pulled Kevin close and kissed him softly, stroking his cheek. "We've got all night. Just relax and enjoy yourself. Go dance with your date before Howie steals him away."

At that, both Kevin and Billy turned their head to see Kyle and Howie talking a few feet away. It was innocent enough, but there was something in the way Howie was smiling at the blonde that caught all of their attention. Billy moved to approach the two before Nick pulled him back, grabbing onto the belt loops of his pants. "Nuh- huh. You're mine tonight. Kevin can go get loverboy."

"But Nicky..." Billy whined, pointing across the room. Howie's hand was on Kyle's arm as they were talking.

"I'm on it." Kevin said, giving Nick a grin before leaving. It was at that moment that Kevin realized that Howie had only met Kyle and Billy once. It had to be three years earlier while they were on tour and both of them had surprised him for his 31st birthday. Howie, Brian and AJ had found them all in Nick's dressing room after the meet and greet. Odds were that Howie didn't remember him, and even then the nature of their relationship hadn't been explained to them. It was most likely innocent on Howie's part, but Kevin still didn't like watching it happen in front of his eyes. "Howard. I see you've met Kyle."

Kyle giggled at the jealousy in Kevin's voice, the way his green eyes were nearly glowing.

Howie simply smiled, backing off as Kevin's arm went around Kyle's waist comfortably. He watched as the two shared a lengthy kiss, and the question of where he'd seen the blonde before was answered. "Kyle. Yes. I remember who you are now." He couldn't help the blush that covered his cheeks in embarrassment.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about." Kyle assured him, leaning in to cover Howie's hand with his own. Their eyes met and Howie smiled, grateful for the assurance.

"I just ...knew you looked familiar but wasn't sure where I'd seen you before." He looked at Kevin, silent apology in his eyes.

"No harm done D." Kevin said warmly. "So, what were you guys talking about?"

Kyle simply shook his head. "Just the CD being finished, how things have changed since the last time you all went in the studio together. Business stuff really."

As Nick watched Kevin, Kyle and Howie talking, something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. Colin was working diligently, filling orders for the servers. He felt his skin tingle slightly and looked back at Howie, an idea suddenly forming in his mind. "Gimme a sec." Nick said to Billy, heading towards the bar and grabbing the phone from under the counter. He dialed a few numbers, waiting for someone on the other end to pick up.

"Downstairs bar." The voice said, knowing that the call was internal.

"Greg? Is that you? It's Nick." Nick said, walking towards the edge of the Lair and looking down. He saw their other main bartender look up, their eyes meeting.

"Yeah Nick. What's up?"

"Do you have anyone you can spare down there tonight? We need another bartender up here."

They spoke for a few minutes and by the time Nick disconnected the call, there was a man and a woman standing at the door, waiting for approval to enter. Nick headed towards Marcus, giving them the okay to enter. "Have either of you been up here before?"

They both shook their heads.

"Well. Tonight is a special night, so it's not business as usual. You can go to the bar and take over for Colin, tell him I want to speak to him."

Nick returned to Billy, aware of the strange look he was getting. "What?"

"I know what you're doing!" Billy spoke, not saying anything else.

"What?"

There wasn't time for the brunette to answer, Colin suddenly in front of them. "They said that you wanted to see me. That I was done for the night." Nick had to chuckle at the guarded expression on Colin's face, the apprehension in his eyes.

"There's someone I want you to meet Colin. Come with us." Nick grabbed the bartender's wrist with one hand, Billy's hand with his other. He approached Kevin, Howie and Kyle, smiling at all three men.

"Hey.." Kyle laughed, looking from one to the other. "What's up?"

"I had someone I wanted D to meet. Howie, this is Colin. Colin, Howie." Nick pointed at both men, ignoring how embarrassed both men got at the introductions.

"Nick..." Howie whined, rolling his eyes.

"What? I just wanted to introduce one of my best friends to someone that works here. I'm always talking about

you guys, so I just thought it would be nice for Colin to meet you." Nick put his most innocent looking smile on, pinching Howie's cheeks playfully. "Now. I think it's time for us to mingle." Nick flashed Kevin a look indicating that he wanted to leave the two men alone for a while, to which Kevin nodded, understanding completely.

"Yeah. We're not being very good hosts." Kevin followed as Nick led them away from the two men, knowing that they were going to definitely get hell from it from Howie later. When they were at a safe distance, Kevin let out the laugh that he was holding in. "You're awful Nick."

"Why? Because while I was watching you talk to Howie, I got this weird feeling and knew instantly who I should hook Colin up with. If nothing happens that's fine, but I just wanted them to meet one another. Talk for a bit."

They all turned around to check on the two men they'd just left, surprised to see that they'd moved to a nearby table to talk. Nick could tell by Howie's jerky movements that he was nervous, but he hadn't seen his friend smile that genuinely in a long time and knew that his instincts were right. He wasn't going for a love connection so much as just to widen both men's social circles. But if love was the end result, that would just be all the better for them. Feeling a pair of eyes watching him, Nick shifted his gaze only to find himself staring into a pair of electric green eyes only a few feet away. He watched as Kevin's lips curled into a sexy grin as they formed three words.

"I love you".

With butterflies in his stomach, Nick responded with four words of his own. "I love you too."

Will you walk with me
through valleys crossing rivers deep
then hand in hand
we will be
oh yeah yeah

The party was in full swing, everyone that had been invited finally arriving. As Kevin looked around the room he realized that if they were going to do this, it was going to have to be now. It was not something that they wanted to wait until everyone was drunk and barely coherent to discuss with them. It took him only a few minutes to find Nick at the bar, talking to Kyle, Christopher and Cory. "Nicky?" Kevin interrupted, smiling apologetically at the four men. "Sorry to interrupt, but I really need to talk to you."

Nick could sense the urgency and excused himself, telling them that he would catch up with them later. Kyle looked at them inquisitively, silently asking if Kevin wanted him to come too.

"No. Not right now baby, but thanks." Kevin answered, leaning in to kiss Kyle's lips softly. "It's something I need to talk to Nick about."

"Is everything okay?" Nick asked as Kevin led him to his quarters, closing the door behind him.

"Everything's fine. I just..." Kevin ran his fingers through his hair as he took a deep breath. "I think that if we're going to do this, it has to be now."

Nick was about to question what Kevin was talking about when it hit him what his lover was talking about. "Ooooh. Ummm..." The uneasiness had returned full force and Nick couldn't help the tremble in his hands. "Are you sure about this?"

"Only if you are. We've got the most important people in our lives on the other side of that door. It's a joint decision. But if we're going to do it, I want to do it before everyone's hammered."

Nick closed his eyes and let the evening's events so far run through his mind. Without a doubt he was ready. "Let's do it. Fuck it. It's time." He opened his eyes to find Kevin smiling at him, tears in his eyes. Nick's hand reached up to cup his face tenderly. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just so happy right now baby. I love you so much."

Their mouths came together in a passionately tender kiss, both men clutching at one another for strength and comfort. When they pulled apart, Nick took a deep breath to calm his nerves. "Are you ready?"

"With you by my side? Always."

They shared one last kiss before reentering the Lair, once again surveying the room around them. Walking hand in hand, they made their way to the centre of the room. Nick stood up on a chair, wanting everyone's attention. "EXCUSE ME EVERYONE!" He shouted, motioning for the DJ to lower the volume on the upstairs speakers. The music was just as loud in the downstairs, it just gave them up in the Lair the opportunity to speak without shouting. Once Nick had everyone's attention they smiled at one another. It was now or never,

and both men had chosen now.

"We have a few announcements to make." Kevin spoke, tightening his grip on his lover's hand. "First of all, thank you all for coming tonight. It means a lot to us that you could be here to share this night with the five of us. We've put a lot of work into this new CD and to know that we've got such great friends behind us, it means so much more to us than you can ever imagine."

That brought forth a round of applause with everyone. Nick and Kevin called for AJ, Howie and Brian to join them in the centre of the room so that they could all share in the applause. "Do you guys have anything you want to say?" Nick asked, giving them the floor.

"Nah, just thanks to Nick and Kevin for throwing the party." AJ said, giving both men a hug. That brought forth more applause and hugs from Howie and Brian as well.

"And thanks to whoever it was that spent all day decorating the place and getting everything ready for tonight. Because we know it wasn't Nick and Kev." Brian added, laughing.

"And yeah. Thanks for coming everyone. Like Kevin said, it's great to know that we've got really great friends. Although I don't know most of you..." Howie trailed off the rest of his sentence, the five men breaking into laughter.

"In time D. You've got all night," Nick joked, winking at Colin who in turned blushed. "So yeah. We just wanted to say that off the bat and let you all know that it's great that you could be here to share this with us tonight." He whispered to the other three that they could go back to their seats or standing positions, hugging each of them one more time before it was just him and Kevin in the centre of the room again.

"That's not all we wanted to share with you guys tonight. And I'm sure that you would all rather be dancing or drinking or whatever, but there are just a few things we wanted to get off of our chests before we let you get on with the party." Kevin could already feel himself choking up. He looked at Nick, grateful to have his lover there with him. Nick nodded, indicating that he wanted Kevin to be the one to say the next part. "You see ....something very exciting has happened with us in the past while..."

"Maybe we should start at the beginning Kev." Nick suggested.

Kevin nodded. "As you all know, this is our club. Nick's and mine. And as you also know, Nick and I are together. We've been together for almost ..."

"Four years." At Nick's admission, both men looked at one another lovingly unable to refrain from leaning in to share a quick kiss. "I love you Kev." Nick whispered so only his lover could hear.

"I love you too baby." Kevin replied, kissing Nick a second time before pulling away and once again, addressing the crowd watching them. "So we've been together for almost four years, and it has been the happiest time of our lives. In that time we've both grown individually and together. The road hasn't always been easy ...in fact, there were a few instances that I'd rather not remember where I wasn't sure that we'd make it through. But with the help of a few friends, and true love, we've managed to withstand everything that's been thrown our way."

"And that's one of the reasons that we wanted you here tonight. It is a CD finishing party, that much is true. But it's sort of more than that." Nick added, feeling the butterflies in his stomach. He felt Kevin's hold tighten on him and held his breath at his lover's next sentence.

"Yes. It's also a sort of wedding reception."

Both men anticipated the absolute silence that the revelation was met with. There was still the music filtering in from the downstairs, but in terms of their guests, no one spoke a word. In fact, Nick wasn't even sure that they were breathing. Only six people in the room knew prior to Kevin's announcement that they were married. Kyle, Billy, AJ, Howie, Brian and JC. To everyone else, it was a complete shock. And from the looks on their faces, they were definitely shocked.

"Wh...who's wedding reception?" Leighanne asked from her chair at a nearby table, her lips forming a wide 'O' of surprise.

"Damn Frick! You didn't even tell Leigh?" Nick said through nervous laughter.

Her eyes turned to her husband and Brian ducked in embarrassment. "I sorta forgot. I mean, it's not like anything's changed since you told us all ...and by the time I got home that night, I had other things on my mind...."

"Fuck! He's talking about YOU two?" Leighanne's eyes were wide, her head moving back and forth from where they were standing to where Brian was sitting next to her. "You're married?"

"You're fucking what?" A female voice asked from the bar, everyone turning to see Jules' hand in mid-air, as if she were bringing her drink to her lips. She slammed the glass down and walking through the crowd to stand before Nick and Kevin. "You're fucking married? To each other?" Jules looked back and forth at Nick and Kevin, waiting for their answer. When none came she smacked both on the arm roughly. "It better be to each other. Is it?"

"Yes Jules. Yes.. it's to each other." Nick laughed at the look of exasperation on his friend's face. Upon his admission, her features softened in relief and she held her hand to her heart.

"Fucking kill a girl why don't you. I was going to have to kick both your asses if you'd said that one of you got married to a girl or some shit like that."

"But yeah," Kevin giggled nervously. He looked at the other guests who were still staring at them in shock. "We kinda got married."

"When?" Jules asked, still not moving.

"A while ago. In Mexico."

Without warning, Jules flung herself in Kevin's arms first, and then Nick's, hugging them tightly and lavishing their faces with kisses. "Congratulations babies. You guys are so fucking lucky to have each other. Treat each other well..." Her face became serious and she stared at both men. "If either of you hurt the other, well I won't be responsible for my actions." With that, she punched them both on the arm once again, followed by a deep kiss to each of their mouths.

Once she had gone back to her stool at the bar, they waited for the next reaction, worried when none came. Christopher's voice could be heard from a few feet away. "What does this mean?" He smiled sheepishly before approaching, pulling them both in a tight embrace. "Congratulations guys. I am really happy for you."

"Thanks Chris." They both said in response, Kevin pulling Nick into his arms protectively.

"But seriously guys, I think you've just surprised us a little." Christopher turned and everyone nodded, laughing. There was a lot of nervous energy in the room and within a few minutes, everyone was laughing. The mood lightened considerably and Christopher once again, turned to face Nick and Kevin. "What does this mean? For the club, for everyone."

Kevin nodded, knowing that that this question would surface. "It means nothing for the club Chris. Nothing at the club will change. Nothing at the club HAS changed. Nick and I getting married hasn't been an issue to this point and nor will it continue to."

"Yeah, about that ...." Adam spoke, approaching the two men. "You guys just went down to Mexico and got married?"

"Well, we'd gone down for a little vacation and we ended up getting married without realizing it. It wasn't a legal marriage of course, but a spiritual ceremony was performed. Rings were exchanged and we consider it as if it were a legal union." Nick held out his hand for everyone to see, the band proudly sitting on the ring finger of his left hand. He held out Kevin's to show as well, everyone seeing the matching rings.

"And we understand that you're confused as to what it means for the club and how we're going to run things. But rest assured that nothing will change. And if there is change, it is simply for the better. Nick and my relationship has never affected how we run the club, how we practice what we practice, so it will continue to be a non issue."

Nick breathed a sigh of relief as everyone nodded their head, listening to what Kevin was telling them. "Exactly. We contemplated not telling anyone about it, only our closest family and friends knowing about the ceremony and exchanging of rings. But then we realized that all of you here, you are part of that family. You are a big part of our lives and we wanted to share it with you. And that's why we're telling you. Not because it has any bearings on our relationship with you, but only because it's something that we're proud of, that we're happy about and we wanted to bring you in on our happiness. So in doing that, we thought we'd invite you all here for a party and tell everyone at once. Have the celebration that we didn't get the first time around."

"What about in Mexico? Wasn't there a ceremony there?" A voice asked from the crowd.

"There was, but it was a different type of celebration. Marriage was always something that I'd picture my friends and family present for. We didn't get that, but this is the closest we could get." Kevin explained. A giant weight had been lifted from his chest and he was happier than ever that they'd decided to share the news with everyone. They decided to take a few moments out before going on with their announcement to receive everyone's congratulations. Once everyone had the opportunity to speak with the happy couple, telling them how happy they were for them and wishing them all the luck, Nick and Kevin once again stood in

front of the crowd.

"We've just got one more thing that we need to discuss with you before we let you get back to the party." Nick said, waiting for everyone to quiet down so that he could be heard. He saw that everyone's attention was now focused on himself and Kevin and continued. "Now, as you know ..the CD is finished and we're going to be doing an extensive promotional campaign as well as world tour. It's been so long since we've actually been on the road that we're going to try and outdo the last tour, reaching as many countries that we possibly can."

"And that leaves us with the issue of the club." Kevin jumped in, taking over. "We leave next week for the first round and from there it begins. Before the tour actually starts things will be uncertain, as we don't know where we'll be promoting and so forth. But that is going to go on for the next few months until the CD is released. And then two months before the tour begins, we will be here doing rehearsals. But even then things will be busy as we're only going to have 2 months to get everything perfected before we take it on the road."

"So what we're saying is that we're not going to be here as frequently as everyone's used to."

"What's going to happen?" A voice called, Katrina stepping in so that they could see her.

"It will be similar to when we've been gone in the past, except for longer periods of time. It's not like I haven't been gone a lot in the past." Kevin explained. "But we have discussed it with Lynz, and she has indicated that she will stop by with her pets every once in a while to check up on the place."

"Now we know that she is not your Mistress, but she is a guest and will be respected as if we were here." Nick's voice was strong, displaying the power that he held over their submissives. "The same rules apply as if we were here. If there is a problem, you are to contact Derrick and he will contact us immediately. Just because we aren't here in body, it doesn't mean we're not here in spirit and mind."

Heads nodded in the audience, listening to Nick and Kevin intensely.

"And there is always the off chance that we will be stopping in to visit. To surprise you. So be prepared for that if you are here." Kevin flashed Kyle and Billy a look, wishing that they'd spoken to them about the next part before bringing it up to the whole group. They simply gave him a questioning glance in return. "And lastly, if there is something you are looking for. Something ...more, you can always see the pets for that."

Two mouths dropped open, four eyes opened wide with shock. Kyle and Billy exchanged confused looks, not expecting that at all. "Excuse me?" Kyle asked, certain that he'd misunderstood.

Nick approached both men, taking their hands in his and bringing them to his lips to kiss. "Yeah. We talked it over and decided that if anyone is looking for discipline. If anyone needs something that they aren't getting, they should see either of you, whomever they are more comfortable with, and you will administer what is needed."

"You should have talked to us about this first." Billy whispered roughly, his eyes locked with Nick's.

"You both know you can do it. You've done it with us before." Nick whispered back, pleading with his eyes for them to understand.

"But you've always been here. This is ..... " Kyle said, shaking his head slowly. He didn't know how he felt about this. He too had wished that they'd spoken to them in private about it before announcing it to the rest of the group.

"If you're uncomfortable with it, that's fine. But it's not going to be all the time. Just whenever the need arises." The four men stared at one another, everyone else in the room forgotten momentarily. A look passed between each set of lovers and Nick exhaled loudly.

"It's okay guys..."

"Okay." Kyle spoke, surprising the other three. When Billy stared at him he simply smiled and nodded his head. "If this is what you're asking of us ...if this is what you want done while you're gone, it will be done." He saw it as an order. Not an order exactly, since they weren't in their roles at the moment ...but at the same time it was an order. A challenge. And he desperately wanted to show his lovers that he could do it. That he would step up to their request and perform it to the best of his ability.

Billy understood what Kyle was saying and nodded as well. "It's settled then. While you are gone, if it is required, we will act in your place."

Nick and Kevin sighed a breath of relief, pulling both men into tight embraces. "Thank you so much baby." Nick whispered into Billy's ear softly. They pulled apart, joining in a gentle kiss as Kyle and Kevin did the same. When they broke apart, Kevin wanted to make a few things clear.

"It will be known that as it is when we are here in the usual Lair setting, the pets outrank everyone. Well, everyone excluding employees and ourselves of course." At that a laugh resonated through the room. "BUT... know that they are not the overall power. Everyone, including the pets, are to remember that even though we may not be here, we're always watching. Everyone is to respect each other, and expect the unexpected."

They paused as the room was silent, everyone staring blankly at each other. "Nick? Kevin? Can I ask a question?" Andrew remained in his chair at a nearby table. When he recieved nods, he continued with his question. "Why are you doing this now? Here? Like this?"

Kevin and Nick shared another smile, expecting this question to surface as well. "We knew someone would ask that. And to be honest, we wondered the same thing. Not everyone here is a part of the club. I mean, you are, but all to varying degrees. But in the end, you are all a part of our lives. Of THIS..." Nick waved his arms around, indicating the club as a whole. "And for that, we wanted you all here for this."

"That's right. You've all had a hand in some way or another in shaping the club to what it is today. You've all been given an invitation at some point or another to visit." Kevin flashed a smirk at Jules as he said the next part. " Although, some have repeatedly turned us down, indicating that it's not your scene, we understand that but still have extended that invitation for any time. But we can't deny that you've all had an impact on us, on Fetish some way or another. And that's why we've decided to do this in front of everyone. We want you all to know first hand what changes are going to be underway with the club in the next while."

"It's a matter of respect. We've prided ourselves on complete and utter honesty and we didn't want that to stop now." Nick paused, "Okay.... so.. are there any questions?" They watched as everyone shook their heads. Both of them knew that if anyone had any problems or questions, they could approach them privately if they'd preferred and talked to them then. So with that, Nick grinned at their guests. "Good then, back to the party."

and I will pray for you and me
that our love lives on endlessly
through all of time we will endure
we are earth and sea
endlessly

The DJ was cued to turn the music back on to the volume it had been at before their announcement, the party resuming as scheduled. Kevin and Nick were instantly swarmed with people, offering further congratulations for their 'marriage' as well as upcoming CD release. A few people had questions they wanted to ask but not wanting to do it in front of the whole crowd, took this opportunity to ask them.

Kevin was in the middle of a conversation with a few random friends when Brian approached. "Kev? I was wondering if I could talk." Kevin excused himself, nodding to his cousin. They walked to where Nick standing, waiting for them both to appear.

"What's up cuz?"

"Well, I just wanted to talk to the two of you. Alone for a few minutes." Brian flashed both his best friend and cousin a smile, looking at them closely. "I guess ...I just wanted you both to know how happy I am for you. Genuinely happy. At first, I didn't think that things were going to work out for you both. I thought that there were too many things that would be standing in your way in staying together. The pressure of keeping it a secret from the fans ...from the press. I just didn't think that this would work out. But you ..." He took a deep breath, feeling his emotions rise. "You're both perfect for each other. You made it work."

Nick stepped closer to Brian and pulled him in for a hug, burying his face in the shorter man's neck. "Thank's Frick."

"I'm serious Frack. I don't know when you grew up, but ..." Brian cupped Nick's face in his hand, staring at the man he had seen go from a gawky 13 year old kid to a beautiful 25 year old man. "...you have. You both have and I'm proud of you." Brian found himself engulfed in a huge hug, Kevin coming in behind him to embrace them both.

"Thank you cuz." As they broke apart, Kevin saw Leighanne across the room and chuckled. "So you really didn't tell her about us?"

Brian blushed, giving his head a shake. "Fuck. I forgot... I'm going to be hearing about this for as long as we're both alive." When Nick nodded in agreement, Brian reached over to punch his arm lightly. "Fuck you Frack."

Nick and Kevin were alone for about three minutes after Brian left to return to his wife before they were approached by AJ. "You guys busy?"

"Nah, what's on your mind Bone." Nick turned so that his back was to Kevin, the older man's arms around his waist comfortably.

"Thank you. I never got to say thanks." Surprisingly, they saw AJ's cheeks redden slightly. He was blushing and both Kevin and Nick laughed.

"Alexander James McLean blushing AND saying thank you? Has hell frozen over?" Nick teased. AJ stuck his tongue out at him in response causing him to laugh harder. "Real mature Aje."

"Fuck... I'm not kidding. Thank you for what you did for me. For us." All three men looked over to where JC was talking intimately with Lynz and another guest. AJ sighed as he let his gaze linger on his lover, the older man's beauty taking his breath away. "He's wonderful guys. I mean ...I never really thought I could be this happy."

"I'm glad Aje. If anyone deserves it, it's you." Nick wasn't sure if he should say what was on his mind. He could tell the instant that the two men arrived at the club that they were in love. He had no idea if they'd said the words to one another, or if they'd even realized it themselves, but the love that both men had in their eyes for the other was blatantly clear. "But there's something I have to ask..." Their eyes met and Nick continued. "What's going to happen when we go on tour? When he starts to record with the rest of his guys and...."

"We haven't discussed it yet. We're going to take it one day at a time right now." AJ's eyes darkened and Nick saw him tremble slightly.

"You're going to have to deal with it soon Bone..." Kevin said softly, not wanting to upset the other man. He saw a look of pain enter the younger man's eyes and he instantly reached out, grabbing onto AJ's hand. "I'm sorry Aje. It's not our place...."

"No. No Kev. It's okay. I know that we've got to deal with this ..it's just not something I want to think about right now."

That was something that Nick and Kevin definitely understood. AJ wanted to enjoy the peace of his budding relationship while he could. Pretty soon things would be thrown completely out of whack and nothing would be certain, so to just revel in the now was something that they were not going to deny their friend.

"But things are good with you two?" Nick asked. The smile that covered AJ's face was infectuous and they all found themselves grinning.

"Amazing. He's absolutely beautiful. And he makes me feel so safe. I can't explain what it's like to just lay in his arms, knowing that he's enjoying it just as much as I am." At that exact moment, JC turned to face them, his eyes meeting AJ's across the room. It was clear that something emotional was passing between them. Nick leaned in to give AJ a half hug, Kevin following suit.

"Tell him that we're happy for you both." Kevin instructed AJ once he had his full attention. "I'm just relieved that it all worked out, that we hadn't made a mistake." They hadn't heard much from AJ in the past week by means of his relationship with JC. AJ had said that they'd left the club and went to JC's house to talk, but that was it. It was clear that he wasn't ready to talk about the relationship, or possible relationship and neither Nick nor Kevin had wanted to press the issue. They knew all too well the need to keep things to yourself before you were ready to talk about it, and AJ had made it all too clear that was the case with JC. They knew that when AJ was ready to talk about it, he would come to them, good or bad. Thankfully it was for the good.

Watching AJ and JC share a private moment from across the room filled Kevin with a complete sense of inner peace. It wasn't something that he could explain. He had seen the younger man struggle from relationship to relationship, never finding what he was looking for. Happiness. Selfless, unconditional love and happiness. "I think you should go to your man. He's looking pretty lonely without you."

"I love him." AJ said softly. It was mostly to himself, but loud enough so that Kevin and Nick could hear. That had been intentional, him wanting the two men that brought him and JC together just how happy they had made him. "And I owe it to you. Both of you." When he turned, Nick and Kevin could see tears pricking the corners of AJ's eyes.

No words were said, AJ conveying everything he was feeling in his facial expressions. Nick simply nodded in JC's direction, urging AJ to join his lover across the room.

"We are so lucky baby." Nick whispered against Kevin's chest, holding his lover tight to his body. It was amazing to Nick how far that they'd come in the long time that they'd known each other. What he found more amazing was how much he could love someone, something he never thought possible. It wasn't that he didn't believe in love, but the depths and the degree to which he loved this man, loved the people around him was astounding. Before he could think too much on the subject, Nick heard Kevin greet Howie.

"Hey D."

"Hey Kev. Nicky, what's wrong?"

Nick lifted his head from Kevin's chest and turned to face the other man. He saw Howie smiling at him and grinned.

"Nothing D. Just taking a breather." Nick replied. "What's up with you?"

"Thought I'd come over and tell you that I'm proud of you both. I know how hard it must have been to make that announcement tonight. I mean, it was one thing to tell the three of us, but to admit it to a room full of your closest friends... It's still pretty big and you have to know how proud I am of you. And how happy I am FOR you."

"Thanks D. We appreciate it." Nick looked over Howie's shoulder to where Colin was sitting at that same table they'd been at since Nick had introduced them. He was sitting alone, watching them shyly.

Kevin saw where Nick was looking and saw Colin watching them as well. It amazed him just how many peoples lives Nick touched. Here, they had two men who admittedly were interested in him, vying for his attention but knew that their love, their lust was unrequited. And knowing that, they still adored him. They wanted him but HE had him. That knowledge caused for Kevin to tighten his grip around Nick's waist. Nick's voice broke into his thoughts.

"So. How's Colin?"

"Nicky ...." Howie shook his head, chuckling. When he saw that Nick was serious he paused. "He's nice. Sweet. Nervous as all hell and has a crush on you the size of Canada ...but he's sweet. I just don't know if I'm looking..."

Nick held his hand up to stop his friend from going any further. "Listen D. I wasn't going for a definite love connection. It's just ...I know both of you pretty well and think that you two are a lot alike. I..."

"He's hot though." Howie blurted out, looking back at Colin who was now talking to a few people that had approached his table.

Nick and Kevin grinned, exchanging a knowing look. "So?" Nick prompted.

"We're gonna see. I mean. What else can we do right?" Nick and Kevin nodded in agreement. Howie turned back around and pulled each in for a hug, embracing them tightly. "So again. Congratulations boys. I wasn't sure at first when you both came out and told us you were together. I'm embarassed to say that I didn't think it would work and figured that it was going to end badly, but of course you guys had to prove me wrong." Howie grinned and kissed both of them on the forehead. "Thank you for proving me wrong." With a wink of his eye, Howie was once again gone, returning to his table to pick up his conversation with Colin where he'd left off.

"I feel like we're in a Christmas Carol." Kevin joked. They had gone up to the bar to get a drink, needing something to calm the nerves and butterflies in their stomachs. When Nick flashed him a blank look, Kevin giggled and continued. "You know.. the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future." Recognition flashed in the blonde's eyes and they both started to laugh.

"Yeah... I'm waiting for the next one to..." Just as Nick began to talk a voice interrupted them. Turning around, JC stood behind them with a gigantic smile on his face.

"Nick... Kev?"

"Jayce. Enjoying the party?" Kevin extended his right hand to meet JC's which was hanging in mid-air, an invitation to shake.

"It's great. Thanks for the invitation." JC shook Nick's hand and they all stood smiling at one another.

"First off... you're a part of the family now. Any Backstreet girlfriend or boyfriend is a part of the Backstreet family. So you would have had an invitation extended with AJ's. But second, you know that you're welcome here at any time. This is as much of your place as it is any of our regulars."

JC blushed at Nick's words, nervously combing his long locks behind his ears. Sometimes he would get a moment of clarity and be completely shocked at how things had progressed in the past few months. Standing here in this room, with these people would have been the last thing on his mind only months earlier. But now it felt completely natural, and he knew that it wouldn't be the last. "I guess ...I just needed to thank you both." JC started, his voice soft. "I mean ...for what you did for us. I know that you four set us up that night at Stages, and as much as I knew that something was going on when Kyle called ... I wouldn't have imagined it being Alex."

Nick nearly giggled when he heard JC call his friend Alex. AJ only let certain people call him Alex, and for JC to be doing it this early meant that things were going exceptionally well. Considering the way Kevin's whole body tensed at the exact same moment his had, he knew that his lover had caught it as well. JC must have sensed something because he stopped and stared at them questioningly. "What?"

"What what?" Nick countered.

"You both tensed up and are giving me this weird look. Why?" JC's eyes moved from green to blue, watching them both closely. Something was definitely up between the two lovers.

"It's just ..." Kevin sighed, his eyes roaming the room for AJ, finding him talking to Howie and Colin at the table nearby.

"It's just what?"

"You called him Alex. He lets you call him that... he doesn't let just anyone call him Alex, so you must be really special to him." Kevin grinned when he saw the suspicion fall from JC's face, making way for a goofy grin. "See. When he came over to talk to us, he had the same reaction when he was talking about you."

"I love him. I'm so in love with him." JC gushed, blushing profusely.

"Have you guys said it before... to each other?" Nick asked, genuniely concerned. He'd heard both of them tell them that they loved each other, but wanted to know if they'd said anything to the other. When JC nodded he grinned. "You have?"

"After the first time we made love."

Kevin didn't fail to notice the fact that JC had said made love rather than had sex. That revelation caused for his stomach to do a few flips. "Well congratulations Josh." He pulled the younger man in for a hug, feeling him sigh in releif against his body.

"I should be saying that to you two." JC pulled away to look both of them in the eye. "I think that what you're doing is wonderful. I know you haven't come out to the press with this yet, or even if you're going to at some point. But you're not hiding it. You're telling the people that matter and that's the first step. You're embracing the fact that you're in love and it doesn't matter what anyone says, you're ..." JC's eyes were filling up with tears and he let out an emotional sigh. "I'm really proud of the both of you. I don't know if Alex and I are going to get to this point, but if we do, I'm glad that we'll have you both to lean on."

"You'll make it Josh. And when you do, you know we'll always be here. Whenever you need to talk or vent or whatever. He's our friend, but so are you. You're part of the family now." Nick leaned in and softly kissed JC's lips. It was a chaste kiss, but both men shivered at the contact. When they pulled away JC grinned.

"I should get back to Alex. He'd gone to tell Brian and Howie about the two of us. I told him I'd go with him but he said it was something he wanted to do on his own. It looks like he's done so I think I'm going to go and spend some time with him."

Once they were alone both men stared at each other before bursting out into laughter. "I never thought that things would be this ...."

"Easy?"

Nick paused for a second before nodding. "Yeah!" That brought forth a second round of laughter. They held onto one another, enjoying the moment as long as they could. A few moments passed in silence before Nick leaned up kissing his lover tenderly. "I should go back to my date. I've left him alone practically all night."

Kevin's fingers traced Nick's cheeks before trailing across his lips and nose. He brought his own face down so that their foreheads were touching, noses rubbing together. "Okay. Just remember that I love you baby."

"I love you too Kev." He leaned up to give Kevin one last kiss, letting his tongue explore all of his mouth before breaking away. "I'll catch up with you later."

"Promise?"

Nick's response was a lingering kiss and a wink.

so remember if ever you're wanting to hide
don't you know what you're feeling
I'm feeling inside
oh yeah yeah yeah yeah
don't forget our dream

it lives on endlessly

Nick blinked and looked at his watch, seeing that it was nearly 3am. They had known that the party would go on into the early morning and thus decided to keep the Lair open late. The downstairs would close at it's usual time, but the Lair would be open until the last of the guests went home. Cabs had been arranged for those that had decided to drink and were unable to drive home, keys kept behind the bar with the bartenders. Guests that left their cars at the club overnight would be able to pick them up the next morning, as Derrick had informed Nick and Kevin that he'd be in to do some cleaning as well as paper work. Everything had been thought of and thus, everyone was still partying strong.

"What's on your mind Nick?" Billy asked, snuggling closer to the blonde. They had been standing by the balcony, talking softly amongst themselves.

"Just everything." Nick replied, kissing Billy's jaw. "Did you have a good time tonight?"

"Yeah. It was a great party."

Nick saw something flash in Billy's eyes, something he couldn't make out. "What's wrong?" When Billy shook his head, Nick cupped his jaw in his hand and forced their faces together. "Something's wrong.. what is it?"

"Honestly Nick. Nothing's wrong. I'm just overwhelmed right now." He saw Nick move to speak and covered his lips with his fingers. "Let me talk for a moment." Billy took a deep breath before continuing. "It's just hard to believe that we're at this point. That it's been nearly four years ...and you're telling everyone ...and just that you guys are going to be gone for so long. And I'm going to miss you so fucking much."

Nick could feel Billy trembling slightly in his arms and tightened his hold on him. "It's not like we've never gone away before..."

"But this time feels different Nick. I mean... I don't know. I'm just going to miss you both more than I thought I would. And then tonight.. this is your big party. Your big wedding reception and ...you're here with me when you should be here with him. I feel that I'm standing in the way ...WE'RE standing in the way of what you could have with him if we weren't there...."

Nick shook his head, stroking Billy's cheek tenderly. "No. I'm here with you because I want you to know how much you mean to me. I have my whole life to be with Kevin and I wanted you to know that although we're together, and you and Kyle are together... you're a part of my life. You both are. Kevin's too. There's never going to be a moment where I feel I've wasted time being with you or Kyle. There's never going to be a time where I regret anything that's happened. You have to know that."

"I know." Billy smiled as he brought Nick's face down to softly kiss him, their lips lingering on one another. "I guess I'm just being stupid."

"Not stupid. It's just how you are. Sweet and loving and beautiful." Nick assured him, stroking his cheek. "And I love you so much."

"Thanks Nicky. I love you too." Billy whispered, snuggling his face against Nick's chest.

Across the room, Kevin took a deep breath, surveying the room around him. Kyle had gone to talk to a few people and had left him alone, pressing a kiss to his nose. "You won't be alone for long babe. You know someone's going to be along in a few moments to keep you company." Kyle had said, giggling at the pout that resulted. He hadn't thought that the blonde would actually leave him sitting there on the couch, but as he watched him walk away, Kevin was resigned to believe that yes, Kyle had actually just ditched him to talk to other people.

Kyle's eyes met his from across the room and as Kevin stuck out his tongue, the younger man giggled and gave him the finger before going back to his conversation. "Really mature Kev. what are you, 13?" Nick's voice startled him, Kevin not realizing that anyone had approached. Seeing that he had an audience, the pout returned and Kevin mustered up the most pitiful face he possibly could. "He left me all alone. At my own party."

Nick burst out into laughter, sitting down on the couch beside his lover. "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to..." He began to sing, ducking the punch that Kevin attempted. That resulted in another round of giggles as both men wrapped themselves around each other, making themselves comfortable. The couch was nestled in a corner of the room, far enough to give them privacy but close enough so that they could still see what was going on. Once their laughter subsided, Kevin laid his head on Nick's shoulder, his arms wrapped firmly around Nick's waist.

"Where's Billy?"

Nick pointed towards a group of people, where Billy could be seen laughing and talking with them. "He said

that I should pay my husband a visit..." Nick paused as Kevin giggled. "What?"

Kevin blushed, giggling even harder. He could sense that Nick was waiting for him to answer which made the giggles turn into full blown laughter.

"What's so funny?" Nick asked, finding himself laughing as well.

It took him a few minutes, but Kevin finally got his laughter under control. Looking up, he found himself looking directly into Nick's eyes. "It's just that you said ...." That brought on another round of giggles and his face went even redder with blush.

"What?"

"You said your husband."

"And?" Nick asked, wondering what was so funny about that. It wasn't as if they hadn't called each other their husbands before. He didn't understand what was so big about it now.

"And you were talking about me." The laughter stopped and Kevin's face was serious. He stared directly into Nick's eyes as he brought their faces together, lips meeting in a gentle crush. "You didn't hesitate. It was like 'he said that I should pay my husband a visit,' and it just hit me that you were talking about me and it was just ...."

Nick's face softened and he couldn't help but smiling. "Oh baby.."

"Sometimes it just hits me out of nowhere. That we're married ...and ..."

Nick shook his head, indicating that Kevin didn't have to explain any more. "I understand baby."

They began a lenthy kiss, shutting out everything except each other and the love that they felt. When it finally broke, both men were breathless. "We're the luckiest people in the world Nicky." Kevin admitted, stroking Nick's arm where his hand rested.

Nick knew it was true. They had friends that they knew they could count on no matter what, carreers that they never thought would last as long as it had, plus the knoweldge that it was all just starting up again, and they had each other. He didn't know what he had done to get this lucky, but it wasn't something that he took for granted. Every day he thanked whoever was responsible for his life for being so generous and gracious. "I know Kev."

"I didn't think that everyone would take it so well. I mean.. I know that all the servants are still a little weary of what's going to happen..."

"That's to be expected though baby. I mean, we've had time to adjust to it, they haven't. All we have to do is show them that it's exactly the way as it was last week and the week before that. I think they trust us enough to know that we wouldn't leave them in the lurch." A few people passed them by, nodding once they saw the intimate moment between them. Since they'd been in the spotlight all night, their guests had decided to give the two lovers some time alone.

"I think Billy's a little wigged out about us leaving." Nick admitted, remembering the desperation that the brunette had been trying to hide from his voice.

"Billy?" Kevin was honestly surprised. It was usually Kyle that got a little anxious when they were going out on tour, not Billy. In fact, Billy was usually the one that kept them all together, even when he and Nick admitted their apprehension. "That's the last thing I was expecting."

"I know. I didn't know what to say. It took me by surprise."

"Did he say anything else?"

"No. Just that he's a little overwhelmed and ... I don't know."

Kevin made a mental note to talk with Billy about them leaving. To assure him that things would be fine when they were gone and that they were only a phone call away. Not to mention a flight if the need arose. He had no problem flying them in or flying home if any of them needed it.

They had all refused to talk about the tour until the CD was over, knowing that the longer they put it off, the longer they could live in the fantasy that Nick and Kevin didn't have their other life to go off and live. Kyle and Billy were proud of their lovers, knowing how much they loved performing and recording, but it didn't make the seperation any easier when the time came. And knowing that when they did go and visit them on the road, they had to watch constantly for who was watching or listening made things more difficult. As much as

they didn't want to think about it, the time to face it was upon them. The next year or so would be a crazy whirlwind and as much as they were going to miss the club, miss this aspect of their lives, Kevin was excited. "I'm really excited to go on the road Nick." He admitted, watching Kyle and Billy across the room. "I've really missed it."

"Me too."

They sat in silence, pondering what that meant for everything. For them and their relationship with Kyle and Billy.

"I think they're excited for us." Nick looked deep into Kevin's eyes. "I mean, it's not that they didn't know it was going to happen eventually..."

"It's just that we didn't think it would be so soon."

Nick and Kevin jumped at the voice, both looking up at the two figures looming above them.

"It's been..." Kevin began, cut off by Billy.

"We know. Two years. It's time. We understand it, but we don't have to like it."

"And for the record, we're excited that you're going out on tour again too. So it's not that we're being entirely selfish." Kyle added, not moving.

"But you can't say you don't understand why we're not looking forward to you leaving. How could we say that we love you in one breath, and then be happy that you're going to be gone for months at a time in the next?"

Kevin and Nick nodded in response. It made sense because as much as they were happy to be getting back out on the road, doing what they loved to do, a piece of them hated the fact that they had to leave these two men behind.

"We love you both." Billy's voice was soft, wavering. "And we're going to miss you more than you know, but it's something we've got to deal with."

"We just hope that you're going to miss us at least a little..."

Kevin was off the couch in an instant, his arms wrapped around both men. Nick was quick to follow. "Don't even say that... How could you think that we're not going to miss you?"

Billy shook his head at Kevin's question, too emotional to speak. "I don't know." He finally whispered, looking directly into Kevin's eyes. "It'll be so easy to forget us ...forget this... You'll have so much more to..."

"The only thing I hate about going on the road, is that we're not going to be able to see you whenever we want. The web cam is one thing ...the phone is another ..but not being able to reach out and touch you whenever we feel like it... whenever we need it is going to kill me." Nick confessed, stroking Kyle's cheek gently. "And no. It won't be easy to forget this or you. If anything, whle we're gone it will only remind us more of what we're missing. Who we're missing and how much."

"Come on." Kevin urged, pulling the men back down to the couch to sit. Within moments, they were all curled up on the couch together, watching everyone around them. Arms and legs were tangled, blending into one and it was hard to see where they seperated into four individual people.

"I feel the same way Nick." Kyle finally answered, tightening their hold on one another.

"We've been through so much together. I think that this is just one more thing that will bring us closer together." Billy said to no one in particular. "It's just another test. If we can manage to get through the promotion ...the tour ...everything and still be this close, still want THIS, then ..."

"I'll never not want this." Just the thought of them not having this closeness put a chill in Kevin's bones, his body reacting with goose bumps.

"But you don't know that for certain Kev." Kyle added, knowing where his lover was going with his train of thought. He and Billy had discussed it quite a bit in the recent past, wanting to prepare themselves for the worst but hoping for the best. The thing that had surprised both of them was the fact that they'd both brought up the possibility of THEM wanting it just to be the two of them and ending things, rather than Nick and Kevin. It had always been assumed that Nick or Kevin would be the one to end things on the personal level of their relationship, indicating that they wanted to keep their relationship between the two of them. It had been long since agreed that as soon as one person wanted out of the foursome, it would end, no questions asked. But never once had anyone discussed the possibility of Kyle or Billy being the ones to end it.

"None of us can be sure that when this tour ends, that we're still going to want the same things. Any of us." Billy placed a kiss on Nick's hand as he brought it to his lips. "At any point, any one of us can decide that it's just not what we want any more."

"I know. But I don't want to think about it. Just the thought of either of you deciding that you want to end it..." Nick's voice was soft and child like and instantly he felt the men on either side of him tighten their hold on him.

"I can't imagine ever wanting it either. I can't imagine anything other than what we've got right now, but you know that it's going to happen. We just have to prepare ourselves for it. And I think that if we can get through this ....that we can get through anything."

"We have been through anything ...everything and still look at us." Forever the optimist, Nick decided to take the lighter approach to it. "I think that this will just show us how much we love each other, and give a chance to step away from everything and reevaluate just how good things are for us. How lucky we are. And as for the club, I have complete faith that it will run as smoothly as if we were here."

"I agree. And you both are invited to come on tour as often as you'd like, for as long as you'd like. We've got enough people on the crew that no one would even question what you're doing there with us," Kevin assured them having thought it through completely.

"This is just the beginning boys. Everything up until this point has been nothing but a test. A dress rehearsal for the real thing." Nick spoke, making sure to catch each of their eyes. "Now, now is when our lives begin."

"Well Nicky," Kevin began as he softly kissed his lover. "if that was just the dress rehearsal I can't wait to see what the real thing is going to be like."

"Hang in there Kev, I think it's going to be a wild ride."

"Actually Billy, to quote Kevin himself," Kyle giggled softly, "I believe it's going to be a fucking unbelievable ride".

"It already has been. The rest is smooth sailing from here."

Sitting silently with their arms and legs tangled in one giant heap on the couch, they watched their closest friends interact. It was hard for them to think about how things had been before it all started, before they each had stepped foot in 6969 Darkness Blvd. Before their lives were changed forever. But what they found harder to do was to picture how it would be when it all ended. When they would step out of Fetish for good, leaving the past and it's memories behind. Thankfully, for the four men whose lives seemed to be inexplicably entwined, that was just one more thing they would never have to worry about. Their hearts, souls and minds were rooted in Fetish. Rooted in each other. Nothing could change fate, and Fetish was their fate.

and I will pray for you and me
that our love lives on endlessly
through all of time we will endure
we are earth and sea
endlessly

Finis