Chapter 4

The next few weeks had played out similarly to that. Chris rearranged his patients so that he could maximize his days. Instead of spacing out the clients to fill up the day, on days he had only one or two appointments, he arranged so that he'd have the afternoon off and not have to worry about getting back to the office at a certain time. On those days, he usually found himself at the community centre, hanging out with Nick, Brian and Justin and helping them with things around there. Justin one day, made a comment about how since Chris was a psychologist and could give therapy to people, he should maybe help out some of the teens that were having problems at the centre. Wondering why he hadn't thought of that himself, Brian and Chris came to the agreement that every Friday, Chris would be available at the Centre all day if kids wanted to go in and talk to him about whatever was on their minds. Since they already knew him from basketball, or baseball and other events that were host ed there, the teens felt comfortable talking to him. Not seeing him as a stuffy doctor but as a guy who really cared about them and wanted to help him.

As close as Brian and Chris were getting, it wasn't as close as Chris wanted to be. He thanked god every day that Brian had came into his life and showed him what living was. He didn't realize it then, but he wasn't living life, he was just going through the motions, and Brian had changed all of that. Somewhere along the lines, Chris had fallen in love with the younger man and it scared him. He didn't want to ruin everything by telling Brian how he felt, but couldn't go on being friends with him without at least trying to see if their flirting was the basis for something more substantial. Brian helped him realize that before he could love anyone else, he had to love himself and his life and he'd helped him to do that. Helped him see the good in everything, realizing that life is what you make it. Chris resolved that tonight was going to be the night. He was going to tell Brian exactly how he felt and see if perhaps Brian felt the same way.

"Rok?" Chris asked as Brian jumped up for an easy lay up shot which swooshed through the net successfully.

"Yeah Chris." Brian turned to look at Chris, pulling his shirt up to wipe his face. At the glimpse of Brian's stomach and muscles, Chris's mouth started to water and he wanted to do nothing more than just rip the shirt off of him and lick every inch of skin he saw. "Ummm... You wanna do dinner tonight?"

"Sure. Nick asked what we were doing tonight and wanted to get together.. So we can just all go out. I haven't seen Jules in forever." Brian said walking past Chris and patting him on the shoulder and giving him a towel.

"Actually... I was thinking just us. Me and you. That okay?" Chris was more nervous than he'd ever been in his entire life.

Brian paused, his back to Chris and remained silent. Chris could tell that he'd thrown Brian off with the request and prayed that it was okay. "Yeah. Of course." And then he turned around with a sly smile playing on his lips. "Oooh... You gonna get me all alone in your apartment and ravage me? Tear my clothes off and just have your wicked way with me?" Brian sauntered over to where Chris was standing, his nose all scrunched up and face flushed. "You know what that does to me Christopher. Looking all innocent like when dirty thoughts are running through your head. Makes me hope that you have wicked and naughty things planned for dinner tonight."
Chris shuddered as Brian seductively ran his hands up Chris's chest, fingers purposely grazing his nipples which were now hard.

"Well you better show up at 7 now won't you Brian." Taking a deep breath and hoping that he didn't falter, Chris wrapped his arms around Brian's waist and cupped his ass in his hands. "I'll show you how naughty I can be." With a groan from both men, Chris pulled away and winked at Brian. He loved this teasing game that they played with one another. It had been going on for months now, but hopefully it would end tonight. Tonight the teasing could become more than that and Chris was anxious with anticipation.

At 6:55 Chris heard a knock at his door and smiled, knowing it was Brian. He had just gotten off the phone with his best friend Howard and slowly walked towards the door. In a panic, he had called Howie and needed reassurance that everything was going to be okay, and that he could in fact go through with this. Howie laughed at him and said that if he wasn't ready then he'd know as soon as he opened the door. Upon seeing Brian on the other side of the door, Chris knew he was ready. He was more than ready. Brian had opted to wear a pair of khaki pants and a black turtleneck sweater, further defining the perfect cheekbones and jaw that Chris so desperately wanted to kiss and touch. His eyes were a stormy blue that captivated Chris from the second he looked into them. "Chris." Brian breathed, looking Chris up and down. He'd worn a pair of black leather pants which weren't too tight, but fit him perfectly, outlining his ass to perfection. He had thrown on a rich purple button down shir t that was snug and defined his muscles.

"Brian. Come in." Chris's heart was beating wildly and his palms were sweating like crazy. He'd lit candles throughout the apartment and had music softly playing, setting an obvious mood. "Dinner's almost ready."

"It smells delicious Chris. Brian exclaimed, following Chris into the kitchen and perching himself on a stool to

watch Chris put the finishing touches on their dinner. In a comfortable silence, they sat and listened to the music, neither wanting to say what was foremost on their minds. During dinner they chatted about Kevin and Josh, how Brian had met them and how Chris had known them, and discussed other non consequential topics, slowly letting the effects of the wine and each others' companies intoxicate them.

When dinner was finished and desert was cleared from the table, Brian suggested they go out onto the balcony. They looked at the city lights and sighed, enjoying the mood which had blanketed them. "This is nice." Brian commented, moving closer to Chris, so that their arms were touching.

"Yeah." Chris took a deep breath and moved so that he was facing Brian, watching how the lights reflected off of his beautiful face. "Brian?"

Brian turned his head so that he could see Chris and smiled, his feelings clearly expressed in his eyes. Chris leaned in so that their foreheads were touching, both men's breathing accelerated.

"Dance with me Christopher." Brian whispered, pulling Chris back into the apartment and wrapping his arms around him, resting his forehead against Chris'.

"God you are so beautiful." Chris exclaimed, tracing Brian's face with his fingertips, amazed that he was actually there in his arms.

"You make me beautiful Chris. You make me want to be beautiful. Like you." Brian said into Chris' ear, gently grazing his ear with his tongue.

Chris's head dropped to Brian's shoulder and he felt a shiver run through his entire body. "You think I'm beautiful?" Chris asked, not believing what he was hearing. How could someone like Brian possibly think he was beautiful. He didn't understand.

"Since that first day I met you, in the hall. I knew that you were special, that you were worth loving with my entire heart and soul. And I do Chris. I love you so much. After Alex, I didn't think it was possible, but you made that possible. You made life worth living for me again."

Chris gasped and took Brian's face in his hands, searching for something in his eyes to tell him that Brian was being sincere, that he wasn't just saying those words to hurt him. Like Lance had. When he saw nothing but pure emotion in Brian's eyes he leaned forward and softly placed his lips on Brian's, falling into their softness and warmth. "I love you so much Brian. It's so strong and I never thought that you'd be attracted to me, interested in me." Chris moaned as their kiss ended, leaving him breathless.

"We weren't ready. Neither of us were fully able to focus on a relationship at that point. I was still hurt by Alex and you... You were just lost." Brian stroked Chris' cheek lovingly.

"You found me though Brian. It was because of you I remembered what it was like to live. You saved me from myself." Chris' eyes were misting over and he leaned in and kissed Brian again, this time tracing his lips with his tongue and sliding it past into Brian's mouth. Brian groaned, pulling Chris closer and began to kiss him back passionately, their tongues familiarizing themselves with each other's taste.

"We found each other baby." Brian said as the kiss ended.

Chris opened his eyes and looked deep into Brian's, knowing everything he needed to know in that exact instant. This was what living was. Living was in Brian's kiss, in his touch and in his love.

Finis