< Never Say Never

Chapter 2

"Justin Timberlake I presume."

Justin nodded meekly, unable to tear his eyes from Kevin's. His cheeks were ablaze and he wasn't sure if he should stand or sit, or whatever. Thankfully, Kevin pulled up a chair, sitting beside AJ, across from Justin.

"It's nice to meet you. I've spent the past two days immersed in your file, quite a thick file, don't you think?" Kevin paused politely for Justin to nod before continuing. "A thick file for such a short period of time. Is there anyone in this state that you haven't seen yet?"

Justin shrugged, pointing at Kevin. The action caused for the other three men at the table to laugh loudly.

"Touché. I guess you're right." Kevin turned his attention to AJ and Lance, grabbing an apple from AJ's tray. He looked at it and bit in, much to AJ's dismay.

"Hey.. get your own damn food Doc. I was saving that for later."

Kevin winked at Justin, wiggling his eyebrows. "Then eat some of that junk food I know you've got hidden in your underwear drawer."

Justin looked at AJ, waiting for a response and giggling when none came. AJ simply shut his mouth and glared at the doctor silently, pouting like a child.

"So anyways, I just thought I'd come over and introduce myself officially. I wanted to be here when you arrived, but I'd been detained. It appears that Brian has had an episode and needed to be sedated."

Justin wasn't sure who Brian was, but judging from the reaction Kevin's news had on Lance and AJ, he was someone close to them.

"Is he all right?" AJ asked, immediately scraping his chair back and jumping to his feet. Kevin's hand on his arm, tugging him to sit back down stopped him from going anywhere.

"Yes Alex. He's fine now. We had to restrain him and give him a few pills to calm him down. I hate having to do it, but he was starting to get a few of the other patients riled up, not to mention agitating himself to the point of hysteria."

"How long?" Lance asked, face grim. Justin was surprised to see how young Lance looked at that moment. It was then that he removed himself slightly from the situation, able to see how pale and thin both AJ and Lance were in comparison to Kevin. It was the first time since meeting them that he saw them as 'patients'. As strong as they were, the fact that they were here for a reason could not be denied, nor could the effects the hospital had on them. Justin wondered if he would look like that, if someone else would come in a few months down the line and be able to see the difference.

"We're not sure. We'll see how he is in the morning and go from there."

Justin didn't even want to know what they were referring to. Once again, Kevin's attention was back on Justin as if nothing had transpired moments earlier.

"So I apologize for not giving you a proper welcome and introduction. I am Dr. Richardson. You may call me Kevin, or pretty much whatever..." Kevin paused mid sentence, as if thinking about what he was saying. Justin crossed his arms over his chest, slightly amused. "Right. Scratch that. Unless I can work some miracle and get you talking again, you won't be calling me much of anything will you? You know what, forget it. Why should you be any different? You may call me Kevin, or pretty much whatever you see fit. I know my eyebrows are big, no need to point them out, I'm very sensitive about them. So if you decide to come out of your silence to comment on them, you might as well just stay quiet."

Justin could see the twinkle in Kevin's eyes, knowing he was joking with him. It amazed him how quickly Kevin had put him at ease, especially with his disposition to hate doctors. The past six months had done that to him. Although he wasn't entirely sure he trusted this man, Kevin had gotten farther than anyone else to this point and that was saying a lot.

"Lance? You are supposed to be at group tonight right?"

"Yes." Lance's eyes perked up in the hopes he was getting out of group therapy that night.  "But you know Dr. Richardson, if you'd like, I could forgo it.. as much as that would kill me," Lance gave a forlorn sigh, "And show Justin.."

Kevin's laughter cut Lance off. "Cut it out Bass. Get your nose out of my ass. You haven't called me Dr. Richarson since the second day you were here. Yes, you have a pass to get out of group tonight. I'll let Josh know you'll be absent. What I'd like is for you to show Justin around. Show him where the rec. room is, where the bathrooms are, all of them, not just the ones closest to your rooms in case he's somewhere else and needs to go. I don't want there to be any accidents...

Justin's eyes narrowed and he exhaled loudly, catching the attention of the other three men. He was glaring at Kevin, unable to believe that this man had just suggested he wouldn't be able to hold his bladder and would piss himself if he couldn't find a bathroom in time. He wasn't catatonic, he wasn't stupid and he sure as hell could take care of himself. What Justin wasn't expecting was for the look of disinterest on Kevin's face at his anger.

"Don't get your panties in a knot Justin. I'm fully aware that you can control your bladder, but accidents happen and not everyone is going to be able to understand what you're trying to say when you ask for the bathroom. If you're on the fifth floor and have to go all the way down to your room on the third to go to the bathroom because its' the only one you know... It happens, okay? Now wipe the pout off your lips. I know you might not understand why you're here, but the fact is that you are and you have to get over it. You have to be treated exactly the same as everyone else, even if they think your only problem is your silence. Yes, your case is different from a lot of the ones in here..." Kevin motioned towards the rest of the room, causing for Justin to take a good look at the mixture of people there. "But in a way you're no different."

Justin's cheeks heated up at the way Kevin had just scolded him, slightly embarrassed that AJ and Lance had been there to witness the whole scene. He snuck a look at them, surprised to see they hadn't even been phased by it. Lance caught his eye and shrugged with a smile on his face. "No worries man. You'd be amazed at how many times Kevin's bawled me out in front of everyone. No favourites and no exceptions. You've been lucky, no one else can really even hear him. When he gets loud.. the whole hospital can hear Kevin's growl.

Justin felt a little better about the tongue lashing he'd received, the sting of Kevin's words ebbing slightly. With a sigh, Justin relented and sat back in his chair. He had a lot of thinking to do.

"So yes Lance. We've put Justin in the morning group session, so I figured you could skip yours this evening, show him around and then go with him tomorrow so he'll know at least one face in the room."

Some groups were done by Kevin, some by Josh. It all depended on the patients in each group and Josh and Kevin's schedules. Groups were no larger than eight to ten people, sessions lasting two hours with a fifteen minute break in the middle. All discussions were frank and open, nothing said in the sessions were transcribed for their files. It was one of the only times where patients could talk with their therapist and have it be completely off of the record. Of course, if something was said in group that the doctor in charge wanted to touch upon again, they could suggest it be discussed and brought up in personal one on one sessions, which were transcribed, but that was up to the patient and whether or not they felt comfortable speaking about it on the record.

"Plus, it will give you a chance to bring Justin up to speed on how we do things around here, who everyone is and anything else he needs to know." Kevin, once again, focused his attention on Justin, a warm smile playing on his lips. "What you're feeling right now is normal Justin, don't kid yourself into thinking something's wrong with you that isn't. You're scared and feeling alone, but mostly unable to tell who to trust and who not to. That will come in time. You might find that you don't like me, that you can't trust me, and that's fine. It is your prerogative, but the first thing you need to accept is that you're here. I know you've been told you've been admitted for six months maximum, but you can't look at the whole picture all at once. If you do, it'll drive you mad. Take things one day at a time, one hour at a time. My door is always open, unless it's closed and if I can instill one thing upon you right here, right now, I'm here to help you. You might not like my methods, you might not like me personally, but I want to see you gone. I want to see everyone here gone. Because when you've left, it means I've done something right and helped you with what you've come in here to face."

Justin's jaw dropped open slightly, as he was not expecting Kevin's monologue. He was feeling out of sorts and confused about everything, his mood shifting by the minute. Looking out of the corner of his eye at other patients in the dining hall, Justin felt his stomach drop. With a nod, he told Kevin he understood. It was all the doctor needed, as he stood up and smiled at the three men.

"Well gentlemen, I'll see you later. Alex, I'll expect you in group this evening, where maybe we'll get some insight as to why you feel compelled to growl at Joey every single time he walks within ten feet of you."

When Kevin was out of earshot Lance slapped Alex upside the head. "Leave him the fuck alone, Alex."

Snickering, AJ held his hands up to defend himself. "I don't know what Kevin is talking about. I don't growl at Joseph. I would never do such a thing."

Lance's eyes narrowed and Justin watched as the two men started to play fight. "I'm telling you. If you don't leave him alone, I'll make you pay. You know I'll be forced to go to Chris and enlist in his help in exacting revenge on you. He does owe me a favour or two."

Shaking his head, AJ nodded in defeat. "Fine. FINE. I'll leave your precious boy alone. But you know Bass, it makes me wonder sometimes. Why, when you profess to be straight, that you look after Joey so protectively! There's something you're not telling me."

Justin could remember the name Joey as the orderly that had showed him the way to his bedroom. He seemed like a pretty cool guy, friendly and not at all suspicious. Definitely not someone that would warrant AJ to growl at him. And it was suspicious as to why Lance was so protective over him. He didn't realize that he was laughing until both Lance and AJ stared at him.

"What's so funny?" AJ asked with a hint of curiosity in his voice. He shared a blank look with Lance before Justin shrugged and shook his head. When he knew he wasn't going to get anything more from Justin, AJ turned his attention back to Lance. "So why ARE you so hung up on our best boy Joey?"

It was Lance's turn to blush as he shook his head. "No reason. He's just always so nice to me. Listens to me when I tell him about the group and how famous we are. He'll just sit with me for hours and doesn't make me feel stupid like almost everyone else does. I mean, it's not like he has to do it, he just does. And he asks questions, real questions and doesn't laugh when I answer them as if it's the truth." Lance paused to look out the window wistfully. "I don't know. He's just ... He's different. I mean, you understand because you know what it's like to be on this side of it... to be here because you've been put here, not because you work here. He doesn't know what it feels like to be considered 'crazy', and yet he doesn't find it all that crazy. I just really like that. I need it."

AJ swallowed thickly, feeling a tad emotional at the waiver in Lance's voice. He had been Lance's first friend at Three Oaks, assigned as Lance's buddy. At first he'd questioned why anyone would have put them together, but it took a few weeks to realize how good the pairing had been. Lance more than provided a necessary grounding and serenity in AJ's tumultuous character, where AJ brought out emotions in Lance that he'd long since buried. Each were on opposite sides of the spectrum, AJ feeling too much and Lance not allowing himself to feel anything at all, showing that their assignment together was more than brilliant on Kevin's part.

AJ would be lying if he denied falling at least somewhat in love with the younger man, but there was nothing he could do about it. Lance was straight, not to mention inter-patient relationships were frowned upon. But the most important thing was AJ respected Lance too much as a friend to risk ruining it for a dream. There was a brief jab of jealousy at Lance's admission, which was the reason he'd begun growling at Joey in the first place. It had been a territorial thing, AJ saw Lance as 'his' and suddenly Lance was spending more time with Joey than him. At first AJ told himself he didn't care, but the more time that passed the more upset he got, so whenever Joey came near him, he began to growl at him, warning him to keep his distance. Never once did he think that Joey had cared either way, or would tell anyone about the episodes. AJ had honestly thought his resentment of the older man had gone unnoticed.. "I'm.. I'm sorry. I just.." He lowered his gaze, embarrassed, when the expression on Justin's face caught his attention. Narrowing his eyes he glared at the younger man. "What?"

It was clearly obvious to Justin why AJ would be growling at Joey, especially if Joey and Lance were as good of friends as had been stated. AJ was jealous, pure and simple. There had been signs all throughout their dinner of AJ's feelings for Lance, although Justin wasn't sure if it was anything more than a crush. He didn't even know if AJ himself was aware of it, sure that Lance was oblivious of the other man's affection. Justin simply shrugged and tried to hide the smile playing on his lips.

Lance's attention moved from AJ to Justin back to AJ, wondering what was passing between them. He watched as his best friend was about to speak, surprised at how he held his temper and simply closed his mouth, remaining silent. "What?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I won't fuck with him anymore..."

"Language, Alexander. You know we try to keep the potty mouth for the outside world," a voice spoke, interrupting the three men.

Justin looked up, unsure of who this stranger was that had approached their table. Judging from how he'd used AJ's full first name, he deduced it was someone with authority. It was amazing how AJ's expression changed quickly to that of an embarrassed school boy.

"Sorry, Josh, I wasn't even paying attention."

"Well Alex, that'll be a quarter in the jar." Josh sat down in the seat Kevin had vacated not long ago and grinned at the three men, nodding at Justin politely. "You must be Justin."

"He is, and I don't have a quarter. You people took all my money when I got in here," AJ pouted, flirting shamelessly. He stuck his tongue out at Lance in response to his low chuckle.

"Ignore him Justin, and please.. please don't pick up any of his bad habits. He is not a model resident in this place, practically a legend for all the wrong reasons."

"But you love me anyways, don't pretend that you don't." AJ grinned, winking at Justin conspiratorially. "What brings you our way?"

"I just spoke with Kevin and he told me that Mr. Timberlake had arrived and was still in the dining hall. I thought it would be nice to meet him before Lance brings him for group tomorrow." Josh focused his attention on Justin, face serious. "How are you doing? I know it's the first day and you're still probably in shock, but is everything fine?"

Justin paused, wanting to answer but unsure of what it was. He inhaled deeply, letting the air back out through his nose. With all three sets of eyes on him, Justin simply shrugged.

"Excellent. It means you haven't wanted to run in the opposite direction. Yes, we are a facility for mental health and recovery which executes an explicit method of operation, but at the same time we pride ourselves on being patient-friendly and focused on individual needs rather than state expectations. Do you know what I mean?"

Justin stared at Josh blankly, his brow furrowed. He darted his eyes to look at Lance who was watching him through concerned eyes.

"You okay, Justin?" Lance asked softly, gently touching his arm. Justin looked a little overwhelmed by Josh, as if he was having a type of anxiety attack. Josh, on the other hand, barely flinched at Justin's reaction.

It was natural for Justin to feel the way he was, one minute fine, the next overwhelmed, so Josh simply watched patiently, not reacting visibly to the younger man's trauma. He smiled warmly and coaxed him with his eyes to work through the panic that was rising inside of him. It was easier when the patients would talk, detailing what they were feeling and how it was affecting them. But with Justin, so much was going on behind his eyes and Josh had no idea how to help him work through it. If he didn't know what the problem was, it was impossible to find a solution. "It's okay Justin, just take a deep breath. Answer when you're ready."

The room was closing in around him and Justin felt hot flashes overwhelm him. He looked around frantically, wanting to find a door he could bolt through that would get him out of the dining hall, but even then he wouldn't exactly know where to go, as he hadn't toured the building and he couldn't remember which way his room was from there. Something caught his eye through the window and his attention focused on a bird, spreading it's wings mid flight. He could feel Lance's hand on his arm and everyone's eyes focused on him with concern. As quick as the panic attack came over him, it was gone and the noise in his ears were gone and he could feel the pins and needles lessen on his skin. He took a deep cleansing breath, feeling exhausted.

Josh could tell the moment Justin's anxiety attack had passed, an expression of relief passing across the young man's blue eyes. His whole body sagged into the back of the seat and he rubbed his face wearily. "You okay, Justin?" With a gentle voice, Josh repeated Lance's question. This time the response was a nod of Justin's head.

"Come on, I think we're going to get going," Lance announced, standing up. "I told Kevin I would give Justin a tour of the place and I'm sure he wants to just get some rest before the fun and games start tomorrow."

Josh reached into his pocket, pulling out two laminated lanyards. He handed both to Lance with a smile on his face. "This is for the both of you. Once you've given him an internal tour, feel free to take him outside and show him the grounds. You've still got a few more hours of daylight since it's barely seven yet."

It surprised Justin how both Lance and AJ gasped at Josh's offering, both men's eyes opening wide. With a hesitant hand, Lance took both lanyards from Josh's hand. It was as if he was expecting them to be taken back at any time. A question he'd have to ask when they were alone it seemed.

"Are you serious, Josh? This isn't a joke?" Lance's fingers ran against the ends of the small, laminated passes, committing the feel to memory. It was rare they were given All Access passes outside, without supervision or time limits. This was a pass that neither of the two men had seen before, not personally or handed directly to them to use.

Josh's chuckle broke the men out of their daze. "Yes, I'm serious, and no, it's not a joke. You do have to be in by dark though. Don't make us send someone out for you. Check in with Joe when you come back in. He'll let us know that you've returned."

AJ couldn't help but sigh, disappointed in Lance's good fortune. He knew it was for Justin's own good to be shown the grounds, but it wasn't fair that they got all access passes outside and he didn't. Especially since Josh was presenting them with it in front of him. It took all his power, but he bit his tongue to refrain from saying anything out loud. He didn't need to be put in 'isolation' for belligerence. It had been over a week since his last episode, that which had ended with them warning him of being on probation. He had to go two weeks without any type of trouble or else he'd be right back up in isolation, without any indication of how long he'd be there for. Alex wasn't willing to risk it for outside time.

Justin could see the effect that Josh's 'present' was having on AJ, the jealousy firing in his eyes. Lance was focused on the passes in his hands and Josh was focused on him, both men blind to the effect it was having on AJ. Without hesitation, he pointed at AJ and then the passes, looking at Josh expectantly.

Josh turned to see AJ pouting silently, then once again looked at Justin. "What?"

Justin repeated his actions, this time more exaggerated.

"AJ?"

Justin nodded.

"I'm pretty sure he's asking if there's one for Aje too."

Justin nodded again, this time rolling his eyes and sighing in exhaustion.

Josh frowned as he shook his head. "No. Sorry, they're for you and Lance. He's your buddy, besides, Alex has group tonight."

Justin shrugged as if to say "So?"

"Justin, no. It's for you and Lance..."

Anger filled Justin and he stood up quickly. It wasn't fair for Josh to come over and present him and Lance with something that was clearly as coveted as passes to roam around free outside and make AJ sit by and watch, knowing exactly what he was missing out on. Josh, Lance and AJ were on their feet just as quick, all with mirroring looks of panic in their eyes.

"Justin? It's okay.. really," AJ said quickly, afraid of what Justin was going to do. He looked furious and he didn't know the younger man enough yet to know how he would react. What he got was a violent shake of his head, Justin indicating that everything wasn't okay.

Justin grabbed both passes out of Lance's hand, studying them closely. A piece of paper wrapped in plastic, that's all they were. But as meaningless as they were, just two pieces of material molded together, they represented a power that most people took for granted. They held a small piece of happiness within their depths, something that had the ability to make or break a day in this place. Justin hated the fact that something so insignificant, something he wouldn't think twice about in his regular life held so much in the balance of everything in here. How fresh air and sunshine was coveted, a privilege when it should have been a right. With a look of disgust directed towards Josh, Justin placed one pass in Lance's hand, the other in AJ's. He held their fingers tight in his grip and nodded once before turning around and walking briskly towards the exit. He wasn't naive enough to think they wouldn't follow him, but hoped they would know enough to give him time to cool off before confronting him.

"Turn left," Justin heard Lance's voice a few feet behind him, soft and showing no trace of anger. He followed the direction, heading down a familiar hallway. It was familiar because each looked the exact same and Justin now understand Kevin's insistence that Lance show him EVERYTHING, Justin wouldn't be able to pick a washroom out if he tried. "Turn right." Again, Justin turned. A few more doors and he saw the label on the board beside one door.

Bass/Timberlake.

It was the second, Kevin's lab coat being the first, blatant sign that they were in a hospital. Again, he was hit with a startling realization of what was going on, the air almost being knocked out of him. Thankfully, Lance was right behind him and caught him as he began to stumble. "It's okay kiddo, you're going to be fine. Just lean on me." Lance kicked open their bedroom door, walking Justin inside and sitting him down on the bed gently. He walked down to the nurses station at the end of the hall, requesting a bottle of water for Justin to drink.

"Mr. Bass..."

"Don't get all formal with me please, like I'm someone important. I know you don't believe it so don't patronize me," Lance's voice was hard, his patience disintegrating rapidly. "Now Justin needs a bottle of water and ..."

"Lance? Everything okay buddy?" Joey rounded the corner at the sound of his friend's voice booming through the hall. "What's wrong?"

"Justin's freaking out and I can't even get a fucking bottle of water..."

"Language.."

"Cut it out Joseph. Cut it the fuck out right now."

Sighing in frustration, Joey shook his head and walked towards the refrigerator that was in the back of their station. He pulled out a bottle of water, heading down the hallway to Lance and Justin's room. "Don't think I'm going to be giving it to you to give to him. I will walk it down the hall to him myself, now come on." Joey's voice was hard and sharp, evidence of his displeasure at how Lance spoke to him. Immediately, the younger man felt the anger dissolve and he followed with remorse, wanting to apologize but Joey not giving him the chance.

Joey found Justin sitting on the bed, staring into space, exactly how Lance had left him. He had a vacant look in his eyes, a forlorn frown decorating his lips. Joey knelt on the floor between Justin's legs, trying to get the new patient's attention. "Justin?" At first, he got no reaction, the younger man barely even acknowledging his presence. Joey paused for a moment before speaking again. "Justin, where'd you go?"

Vaguely hearing Joey's voice, Justin blinked, focusing on the man sitting before him. He moved a fraction of an inch backwards to regain his personal space. It was as if he'd woken from a day dream, unable to figure out how he'd gone from the dining hall to sitting on his bed, his head hurting immensely. Joey held out a bottle of water, urging him to drink.

"Here Justin, drink this."

Justin reached out his hand, grabbing onto the cold bottle and bringing it up to his lips. The cool liquid was sweet relief to his parched throat and before he knew it, he'd drained it completely before handing it back to Joey. Every sensation was amplified and Justin's head began to swim once more causing him to close his eyes and sway back and forth in his place.

"Lay him down," Lance instructed. He nearly jumped a mile in the air when the door swung open, banging against the wall.

"No. He needs to be outside. Fresh air will do him a world of good." Kevin strode purposefully into the room, face serious, with no hint of a smile.

"He won't..." Lance started to speak, stopping when Kevin raised his hand in the air.

"I heard that he walked out of the dining hall. Josh paged me and filled me in. I don't care, he is going outside whether he likes it or not."

The sound of Justin stamping his foot on the ground got the attention of all three men. When they turned to face him, he was standing up and had his arms crossed over his chest, face turned into an angry mask. Lance had to hold back the snicker that threatened to surface, it wasn't often someone stood up to Kevin, especially a patient. It would be interesting to see how the doctor reacted. Kevin looked stunned at Justin's disobedience, Lance had never seen the older man at a moment of uncertainty, he waited with bated breath for the fireworks.

"You will go outside. You will get fresh air, and you will learn to obey orders when given to you. This is a hospital and I am in charge. And you will not behave as you did just moments ago, not with any patients and sure as hell not with my staff. I understand that you're new and this is an adjustment, but you will show respect. Do you hear me Justin?"

He knew it was too good to be true, that the fairy tale would end and he would see this place for what it was, a bunch of people who didn't care about him, only their own greater purpose. This was something Justin was used to, he knew how to play this game. Showing no sign of recognition, Justin simply stared at Kevin, blinking once. There was pure venom in his eyes.

"I asked if you can hear me." Kevin stepped in closer to Justin than was polite, his voice raised in agitation.

"Dr. Richardson, may I speak with you?" All four men in the room turned to the door where Josh was standing. He hesitated before entering.

"I'm in the middle of something," Kevin warned as he turned his attention back to Justin who still stood with a blank expression on his face. Kevin wasn't about to back down, but from the looks of it, neither was Justin. It wasn't rare for patients to be insubordinate during their adjustment phase, but there was something in Justin's demeanor that told Kevin it wasn't intentional. He was a strong character and didn't back down when challenged, it was something Kevin respected and admired, except for when it was unnecessary. There had been no need for Justin to react the way he did when Josh presented him with the opportunity to roam free outside. Kevin had suspected Justin would adjust better if given the opportunity to become comfortable in his surroundings and shown that it wasn't the prison patients seemed to think it was. Instead of thanks, he received disrespect.

"It will be just one moment, Dr. Richardson. It is rather important."

Kevin sighed as he straightened his back and turned to face Lance. "This isn't over." He stalked out of the room, closing the door behind him. "What is it Josh? What is so important that you had to interrupt me while.."

"I just.. I'm not sure that taking that type of tone and force with him is very wise this early in his stay here." Josh interrupted quickly. He knew that challenging Kevin's methods could prove to be dangerous, but he sincerely felt that Kevin was approaching their new patient improperly. "The moment you started barking out orders he shut down. It's all he's known and if you lose his trust this early, he will go into his shell entirely. You can't be like all of the doctors he's had before him... He needs.."

"Joshua, how dare you.." Kevin felt the heat rise in his cheeks, anger simmering in his blood at the way his colleague had chastised him. In his head, he knew what the other man was saying made sense, but it still stung to have it pointed out to him. It was a classic mistake, something Kevin should have realized on his own. When Josh raised an eyebrow, Kevin sighed in defeat. "I know, I know. I just..."

"And it's understandable." Once Josh saw defeat in Kevin's eyes he exhaled in relief. "But... he's different. I don't... He doesn't exactly understand why he's here, in this place. It's not like he doesn't realize there is a problem, it's just that it seems a little over the top..." Josh stopped talking when he saw Kevin cross his arms over his chest and step in to look at him closer. "What?"

"He feels this way or you do?"

Josh blushed, rolling his eyes. "Maybe a little of both. I've just been reading his file and then rereading it over and over again and something tells me that they're just not focusing on him, but moreso themselves. No one's really asked him anything, all of his paperwork indicates what his parents feel the problem is, and how it has affected them and their lives, but what about Justin?"

"They can't possibly know what he's feeling if he doesn't tell them."

"Ah-ha. But speech isn't the only method of communication, and no one that he has seen so far has even tried any alternate methods of communicating with him. They ask him, he's silent and that's the end of story. They send him to someone else where the cycle starts over again. He has to know he's worth the effort, or what's his incentive to talk?"

Kevin regarded Josh through new eyes, impressed with his younger colleague. "You've really put a lot of thought into this, haven't you Joshua?"

With a blush, Josh nodded. "Yes. From the first read of his particulars I got a feeling of annoyance, and the more time I spent on it, it just irked me more to the point where I can't believe that it's gotten this out of hand. There is nothing wrong with him Kevin, he doesn't need to be in a place like this."

Silently, Kevin pushed the door to Lance and Justin's room open, both men able to look in and see Lance and Joey talking to Justin, telling him stories and making him laugh. There was an easygoing, comfortable feeling in the room, surrounding them and Kevin cocked one head to the side "Maybe this is exactly the place he needs to be," he whispered softly, pleased to see the twinkle in Justin's eyes. He had spoken at lengths with Justin's previous doctors, each had given him an almost identical story, Justin was a very disturbed, unhappy young man. They had relayed to Kevin that it was rare that Justin smiled, he showed no interest in contact with other people on a social level, but most of all his 'illness' would be best treated with maximum doses of medication. Kevin, who was always hesitant to use medication as a primary solution, felt confident that their initial assessment of this young man was completely wrong. Looking at Josh, he saw a grin on the other man's face.

"Maybe, we'll see."

"And it all started when you said that AJ didn't have a pass to go outside with them?"

Josh nodded. "I hadn't noticed at the time, but Justin must have. His skills of perception is astounding. It's like he can sense people's moods and feelings, seeing much more than most."

"His other senses are heightened because he's 'lost' one. It's understandable."

"Well, Alex looked jealous and, honestly, quite upset that Justin and Lance had been given all access passes outside, and he asked if Alex could go with them. I said no and he stood up, gave Alex his pass and walked out. It wasn't violent, just resigned. I don't know why he had the episode. That was most likely just due to the fact that he wasn't entirely sure of where he was going and had a slight anxiety attack. Overwhelmed and disoriented."

Kevin nodded. "Okay, thank you Joshua. Now you should get going before you're late for group. They'll go ballistic if you're not there when they arrive." After they'd said their good-byes, Kevin took a deep cleansing breath and reentered the room, causing for silence to envelop them. "Joseph? Thank you for your assistance."

Joey was dismissed, winking discreetly at Justin and Lance as he passed by the head doctor on his way out. "Thank you, Dr. Richardson."

When the three men were alone, Justin picked at his jeans nervously. He was still a cross between annoyed at the man standing before him for speaking to him the way he was, but at the same time realized that he'd been out of line acting the way he had. Once the adrenaline had calmed down, he could think clearly and was afraid he would be in trouble. He held his breath as Kevin debated what he was going to say.

"I just want to apologize for raising my voice to you Justin. I was simply a little frustrated and should know how to channel my anger without aiming it directly towards you. I don't appreciate people barking at me, so I shouldn't bark at other people."

Justin's jaw dropped and he tore his eyes from Kevin to look at Lance, who was nodding and smiling at him comfortingly.

"I know," Kevin chuckled. "It's not often I apologize so you should feel honoured. Isn't that right, Lance?" Lance nodded, sitting down on the bed beside Justin. Kevin shrugged as he continued. "Although I have to say, I understand you were frustrated, but you can't storm around like a child. We're adults and if you have a problem, you stay and work it out. I will forgive the foot stamping because I realize we were loud and it was the only way you could get our attention, but you have to know one thing, Justin. We can't possibly know what is going through your head or what you are thinking. You have to communicate that with us and let us know or there is no way we can help you. Do you understand."

Justin nodded, feeling very much like a scolded child. He wasn't getting into trouble, but it vaguely felt that way.

"No, no one has tried very hard so far to empathize with your situation, nor have they made any great efforts to communicate with you to work on whatever it is that has caused this silence, but we're not like that. It is something we're going to have to prove to you before you believe it, which I respect, but you have to give us a chance. Are you willing to do that?"

Justin's hands trembled as he scratched his head nervously. Looking up into Kevin's eyes, he saw nothing but concern and honesty there. That immediately put him at ease. After careful deliberation, Justin finally smiled and nodded. He would try, Kevin was right, they had a lot of negative feelings to work through, especially where doctors were concerned, but so far their record was good. Much better than most.

"Good. You try to communicate better with us to let us know when you're angry and why you're angry, and we'll try to work better at resolving it and helping everyone to move past it. Okay?"

Justin nodded.

"Now. What was the problem? Why did you leave so abruptly?"

Justin saw the passes in Kevin's coat pocket and pointed towards them. Kevin looked down to see what the younger man was pointing at and pulled them out.

"Your access passes?" He saw Justin nod and Lance lean in towards the two pieces of laminated paper, as if drawn to them. Kevin was not ignorant to the power he knew they possessed. "What was wrong with them? I thought you would be happy to go outside and see the grounds."

Justin shook his head as he frowned and furrowed his eyebrows. He pushed Kevin's hand away gently and turned his head to the side.

"You don't want them?"

Again, Justin shook his head. He held up two fingers before pointing to each, as if counting 'one', 'two'.

"Yes, there's two. One for you and Lance." Kevin knew, through Josh, what the problem was, but wanted Justin to be the one to tell him, so he waited patiently.

Justin sighed and shook his head as he held up three fingers. He pointed to himself, Lance and the door, as if indicating someone else. Kevin nodded in understanding.

"Oh, you wanted a third one? For Alex?"

Justin nodded. He pointed to Lance and the way his eyes were wide and then showed Kevin the expression that was on AJ's face. Once again, he held up three fingers and then shook his head as he splayed his hand out flat in a back and forth motion, indicating if there weren't three passes, he didn't want any.

"So it's three or none then, huh?" Kevin asked, trying not to laugh out loud as Justin shrugged. It was astounding how after less than two hours, Justin had already bonded so closely with these other two men. Justin was willing to give up virtual freedom for a few hours for someone he barely knew, which said a lot about the lack of attention and genuine care he'd received recently. Where Josh had been right that Justin didn't deserve to be institutionalized for his 'problem', maybe his parents had inadvertently given the young man exactly what he needed, an environment where people weren't all that different and could relate to Justin on a similar level. Kevin pretended to think about it before presenting Justin with the two passes once more. When Justin didn't reach for them, Kevin handed them to Lance, an offer he knew wouldn't be refused.

Lance's fingers gripped around the plastic as he held them on his lap securely. He could tell Kevin was up to something and thus, trusted the doctor. Without hesitation, Kevin turned on his heel and walked towards the door, pausing to look over his shoulder at them.

"Are you coming?"

"Where?" Lance asked, knowing Justin wouldn't.

"Follow and you'll see."

End Chapter 2


Chapter 3 >