< Never Say Never

Epilogue

Justin pulled his comforter over his blankets, tucking it neatly underneath the pillows that sat at the head of his bed. He smoothed out the creases about half a dozen times mindlessly, not able to focus on anything concrete. "You've been making that bed for about twenty minutes Justin. I don't know how much smoother you're going to get it without pulling out the iron," a voice called out, interrupting his non thoughts.

His whole body sagged as he sat down on the perfectly made bed, bunching up the blankets under his weight. "I know."

"I thought you'd be happy today, knowing he's getting out, finally."

"I won't believe it until he's here. Until I see Josh's car pull up and he steps out of the car to walk up and move his bags in." Justin turned around to face the other man standing in the room, not surprised to see compassion and worry in his eyes. "It.. it wasn't supposed to take this long." Justin frowned, overwhelmed by the feeling of despair that was all too familiar lately.

"No, it wasn't. But then no one expected for things to get as out of control as they did."

Justin nodded, knowing that his friend was right.

Originally, Justin had moved out of Three Oaks with promises from Josh and Kevin that Nick was on his way out as well. Quite possibly Lance and Alex not too far behind that. It was going to be perfect. Until Kevin was visited by lawyers one afternoon, totally unsuspecting.

Nick's parents were fighting for 'custody' of their son, they wanted him home. It didn't matter what the previous courts had said, they were in the process of appealing the decision that neither of the Carter parents were allowed within two hundred feet of their son. Nick was sequestered and, against Kevin's wishes, had to meet with officials to go over testimony of why he wanted the restraining order taken on his parents.

Things had gotten ugly and Nick had found himself face to face with the monsters that had robbed him of his childhood, of his dignity and sanity. The encounter had left Nick devastated and in a state of depression that no one could have anticipated. He hadn't been able to make the trial in which he would have found that his parents were not only denied their appeal, but found out that a civil suit was being taken out on them on Nick's behalf. Nick missed the trial, the judgment and the arraigning.

While Nick was in Three Oaks, barely conscious of anything that was going on around him, his parents were being sentenced for life on his behalf. It was Kevin who appeared at every single trial date, Kevin who, among others, attested to Nick's history and medical findings and Kevin who cried when they were cuffed and lead away, never to be able to touch Nick again.

That had been over a year and a half ago, almost two since Justin had been released.

Despite Kevin informing Justin of the Carters' trial, Justin would not attend. He only wanted the bare minimum of details from Kevin, opting not to be too informed. The last thing he needed was any more stress, worrying about surviving on his own was stressful enough.

Lance was released exactly five months to the day after Justin, both Josh and Justin throwing him a welcome home party upon his arrival to the house. At that time, there was one other patient besides Justin living there and the familiar face was more than welcome on Justin's part. They were relieved at Alex's arrival only three months after that. All was going to plan, except for the fact that Nick was still at the hospital, not at all improving after his parents' antics. Justin was glad they were in jail, because he seriously had wanted to kill them, those bars the only thing keeping them alive.

Kevin revealed to Justin Howie's insistence on taking care of Nick. It was amazing, but they would see the Latino softly whispering to Nick, cuddling with him and often singing to him, if not to soothe and calm him. Sometimes they could hear snippets of Howie's ramblings, always noticing that he mentioned Justin's name, coaxing Nick to come back out, for Justin's sake. It was as if Howie needed Nick to come out of his own shell, the two men slowly working together and getting themselves better.

What hurt Justin the most was that Nick didn't want any visitors. He would write Justin endless letters of apology, sometimes so sad and desperate that Justin wouldn't be able to finish reading it through his tears. With every letter received, Justin sent a letter in response, reminding Nick that he loved him no matter what happened, and was waiting for him on the outside. Kevin always told him that Nick's mood seemed to lighten just a little after reading his letters. Just not enough to bring him back to them completely.

Little by little, Nick once again emerged from the cocoon he'd wrapped himself in, realizing that he had so much to live for. If not for himself, than for the amazingly beautiful man that was waiting for him, pining for him, living for him. Howie never let him forget that he had someone who loved him and who needed him to be strong, and the stronger Nick became, the more he realized how special Howie was, and how grateful he was to Howie.

The first day that he gave permission for visitors, Justin was waiting at his door, desperate to see him. Things were awkward at first, but eventually they both managed to move past any insecurities they had. Eventually, Nick was able to hash out everything in group, realizing that his parents were in a place that they couldn't hurt him anymore. Emotionally and physically. And with that long, painstakingly exhausting revelation, Nick wanted out.

Nick wanted to start his life again. With Justin. With Lance and Alex. For himself.

"Lance, do you think we'll be okay?" Justin asked, picking up his best friend's hand and gripping it tight. Josh had mentioned that he'd be by at around two with Nick. It was still only one but Justin's stomach felt as though it were being torn out slowly, through his belly button.

"We meaning everyone or..."

"We meaning Nick and I?" Justin's eyes were wide and Lance could see the younger man was wearing his heart on his sleeve. So long he'd been waiting for this moment and finally, it was here. Nick should have been the second one out, his release date already set in pencil when Justin had gone home. All it had taken was one afternoon to shatter their plans and nearly destroy Nick, destroy them all.

Lance sighed, pulling Justin close and hugging him. "Oh, Baby. You know you two are going to be okay. You two are too connected to not." Eight years had passed since Lance and Justin had met, and in some ways they could feel the difference, but others, Lance looked at Justin and still saw the scared, young boy who he'd befriended that afternoon in his room. He was so strong, yet so emotionally fragile that Lance couldn't help but want to protect him. Always.

A knock at the door interrupted them. "Yes?" Justin called, relaxing when Alex's head poked in.

"You guys busy? Or can I join?"

Justin waved Alex in, patting the bed beside him. "Come in, we're just waiting for Nick to arrive."

"I can't believe he's finally getting sprung."

"Justin will believe it when Josh shows up with Nick in tow."

Alex nodded, a sympathetic smile on his lips. "Understandable. With all the shit that kid has been put through, it's no wonder they kept him in that extra time."

Justin winced. On one hand he knew why they wouldn't release him as scheduled. He was too emotionally delicate and unstable to be on his own, but on the other hand it had hurt him more than he could even explain. A few months had turned into over a year and Justin felt that this day would never come. Now that it was here, he wouldn't allow himself to believe it. A change in their mind would crush him. "Have you heard from anyone?"

Both Lance and Alex shook their heads. "No. I've been getting Kevin's voice mail and Josh's cell isn't on."

"I'm just so scared that he's not going to come home. That he's going to stay in there..." Justin took a deep breath, trembling slightly. "And then I worry that he is going to come home, and decide he doesn't want me. That he doesn't love me anymore."

"Oh, J," Lance said softly, trying to calm the other man. "You know he does. He loves you more than anything. You're why he's getting out, you're the reason he's worked so hard in therapy."

Justin shook his head, wanting to believe it but unable to at the same time.

They sat in his room until the distinct sound of a car pulling into their driveway could be heard, all three men ceasing to breathe. They each looked at one another before jumping up and racing each other down the stairs to the front door, pushing and shoving the entire way. Just as they'd expected, Josh's car sat in the driveway. Justin felt his pulse begin to race and his head swim so much he was dizzy. "Sorry I'm late guys, I had to make a stop."

They watched as Josh climbed out of the car. There was someone in the front seat, but they couldn't see who it was through the giant bunches of flowers. Finally they got out and Justin gasped in surprise. He felt his knees give out and thankfully Lance was there to catch him before he fell.

"What's wrong? You all look a little pale."

"Kevin?" Alex said, clearly disappointed. He felt his stomach drop as the doctor headed up the stairs, holding three bunches of flowers in his hands. He handed one to Alex, before handing the second to Lance.

"Forget what I look like already McLean?"

"No, we were hoping for someone a little more blonde, and less .. you." Lance supplied, taking his flowers in a mass of confusion. No one failed to see how devastated Justin looked.

"Anyone want to help me with these bags?" A voice called from the driveway, causing for everyone to look up. Both Josh and Kevin were on the verandah and the voice sounded a lot like...

"NICK?"

"Who were you expecting?" Nick answered, tugging his bag from the trunk. "Does anyone want to give me a hand? Or am I gonna have to carry it all myself?"

No one anticipated Justin fainting. Lance nearly didn't catch him out of shock.

"I think you killed him," Alex stated as he grabbed Justin's legs and helped to bring him inside. When they had Justin safely on the couch, he turned to smack Nick's arm roughly. "And fuck you very much for that performance."

Nick laughed, rubbing his arm. "What?"

"You knew when we saw Kevin we'd think you weren't coming."

"It's not my fault he wouldn't let me sit up front. I called shotgun but he was all 'I'm the one with the Ph.D., I get to sit where I damn well please."

"Well I do," Kevin spoke out, laughing as everyone chuckled. "I've earned it." Josh approached Justin, feeling his forehead gently. "Although, I didn't think he'd faint. I thought there would be some excitement, perhaps Justin tackling Nick right there in the driveway, but never did Justin actually fainting cross my mind."

"He wouldn't believe Nick was coming until he saw him. Then when he saw you he thought it wasn't going to happen. We all thought that..." Lance brought a wet face cloth in and placed it on Justin's forehead. "He's been a bit of a wreck."

Nick sighed, sitting on the edge of the couch with Justin, stroking his face tenderly. "All because of me."

"Of course because of you, because he loves you," Alex assured his friend. It was amazing to be able to see Nick so strong and healthy, his skin practically glowing. This day should have happened two years ago, but no one wanted to focus on the past. Now was for looking ahead, moving forward.

Before anyone could respond, a low groaning sound could be heard. All eyes moved downwards to see Justin slowly waking up. Nick held his breath, waiting for the moment when his boyfriend looked up to see him looming over him.

"Holy fuck, did I faint?" The last thing Justin remembered was standing on the verandah, Nick standing at the trunk. His body jerked in awareness as he sat up, coming face to face with the man who had invaded his every waking thought. "Nick?"

"J?"

Justin's hand came up to stroke Nick's face, as if to prove that he was indeed there. "You're.."

"I'm home."

"About fucking time," Alex said, sticking his tongue out at Kevin. "I can swear now. I'm not your problem anymore."

Kevin turned to look at Josh who was snickering. "No, he hasn't gotten any easier to deal with on the outside. In fact, it's worse because he's right. We can't say anything or do anything."

Kevin beamed. "And that is why I chose you to oversee this division Joshua, you have the patience I'm lacking, especially with this group of jokers."

Justin was vaguely aware of conversations being had around him, but all he could see was Nick. One glance down at his boyfriend's wrist soothed his frayed nerves. There was no sign of a bracelet there, Nick was officially free. "I didn't think..."

"Shhh," Nick soothed, smoothing out the creases in Justin's forehead. "I didn't either. I was so afraid that something would happen again that it was just delaying everything. I was so anxious, so terrified that I couldn't do anything but lay in my bed, thinking about you. But Howie said that if I was afraid of life, I'd never get to live it. And he reminded me of what I had waiting for me outside, you." Nick looked up at their friends who were watching. "All of you. And so I decided right there I wasn't going to be afraid anymore. I'm not the little boy I was back then, no one can hurt me now unless I let them. I have to remind myself that."

Kevin approached, setting a hand on Nick's shoulder. "And I'm so proud of you for realizing that Nick. You don't know how much you've changed since I first met you and it's amazing to stand here and see the man you've become. All of you."

The room was silent, everyone lost in their own thoughts. Justin had a firm grip on Nick's arm, refusing to let him go for anything. Now that they were together again, both men on the outside, their lives could finally begin together. He'd long since been hired on by the hospital to work in the pediatrics ward, sometimes also finding himself in the psych ward assisting where he was needed there and was slowly building up a reserve for when he felt ready to move out of the house. It had been delayed slightly because of Alex and Lance's presence in the house. Justin was enjoying living with his friends too much to move out on his own, especially without Nick. It was Lance who spoke first."

"Well, now that Nick's home, I think it's time to have our official party for him." They all looked at Josh who nodded.

"That's right. You've all got ten minutes to be ready, we're going down to that pub down the street. Dinner's on Kevin and I."

Nick looked at his new house mates, cocking an eyebrow. "After the last 'welcome home' dinner we tried to throw we've long since decided that going out is safer, faster and easier. No food poisoning that way..." Josh provided with a sheepish grin.

"Not to mention three days of clean up," Justin added, feeling well enough to sit up. He found himself instantly locked into a steamy kiss with Nick, a kiss he could feel all the way down to his toes.

"And with that," Alex snorted, "I'm gonna go change into something clean. I'll be back in ten."

By the time their kiss broke, Justin and Nick were alone in the living room. "I'm so fucking happy to see you," Justin whispered, clutching onto Nick tightly.

"Me too. It's not the same when you visit, now I know you're not going to have to go at the end of the hour or two."

"I know." As much as Justin wanted to go out and celebrate Nick's release, he just wanted to stay in and spend time with him. Laying down, talking and just being able to feel Nick's body against his own. His eyes locked with Nick's and both men smiled lovingly at each other.

Nick could read Justin's thoughts, his stomach fluttering at the expression on his boyfriend's face. "Lets get ready to go babe."

"Can't we stay in? Just lock ourselves in a room together..."

Nick shook his head. "Baby, we've got our whole lives to do that. This is the first time I've been released from a hospital without going directly to another one. Lets go out with our best friends, eat, drink and enjoy ourselves. Then we'll come back and spend the first night of the rest of our lives together, doing whatever we want."

Justin closed his eyes and for the first time he didn't feel anxious. Didn't feel nervous or afraid. He felt calm and peaceful. All because of the man at his side. By the time he opened his eyes he was ready to go.

"Let's celebrate."

FINIS


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