< Never Say Never

Chapter 9

Twenty Four Months Later

"Justin, we have some big news for you." Kevin entered the group therapy room with a large, manilla envelope in his hand. Justin cocked his head to the side, waiting for the news with dreaded anticipation. When Kevin got 'that' look on his face, either you were going to really love what he had to hear, or hate it, and Justin always banked on hating it because it was the most often found reaction.

Nodding wearily, Justin accepted the envelope which Kevin presented to him.

"In light of your wonderful contribution to Three Oaks, how you are an inspiration to all patients, staff and any visitors coming by to visit, we have decided to impart on you one of the most elite, coveted of honours."

Justin heard the rest of the group snickering, knowing immediately he was screwed. Unequivocally, undoubtedly, screwed. Without waiting for instruction, he opened the envelope to see a patient file. Understanding what it was, he sighed and threw Kevin a look of disbelief.

The room erupted into laughter.

"Why are you all laughing?" Kevin questioned. "This isn't funny, this is an honour."

"Junior better get used to sharing his room with a newbie," AJ teased. "Hope he doesn't pee the bed Timberlake, the delicious odor of urine lingers forever."

Justin rolled his eyes as he gave Alex the finger. He then turned his focus to Kevin with a pleading look in his eyes. Pointing to his chest, he asked why on earth they would choose him to be a buddy.

"Consider it an anniversary present. You've been here two and a half years now Justin, it's time for you to share your Three Oaks spirit with someone new."

The whole room groaned at Kevin's cheesiness.

It was Kevin who got the last laugh though. "Complain all you want, it's you Justin. You are who I have chosen to be this patient's buddy, and nothing you say or do is going to change it. So hate it or not, you've got to live with it."

The envelope weighed heavily on Justin's lap the entire duration of their group session that day. Afterwards, Kevin pulled Justin aside and asked him to accompany him to his office.

"You look like I've given you a death sentence Justin, are you really this worried about it?"

Justin nodded at Kevin's question. He didn't know how he was supposed to give anyone an adequate orientation when he didn't speak. It had been two years since the day he was supposed to have been released, and still he showed no signs of speaking.

The weeks after his one and only episode at Three Oaks had been long and painful, Justin refusing to get out of bed and the staff refusing to let him wallow in his self-pity. It was during that time he gave himself the opportunity to really think about his life, where he was and what path he was on and in the end, he'd decided that maybe the State had been right. If his parents were that willing to get rid of him, then he honestly didn't have anything left on the outside to go home to.

On a daily basis, Justin was visited by his floor mates, each of them coming by to see him, and even on days when he refused to acknowledge their presence, they would sing, talk or read to him, just letting him know they were there for him. It was then that he decided to make the best of his situation, and return to the world of the living.

Now, two and a half years after first arriving to Three Oaks, Justin stopped thinking about things in terms of when he was going home, he already felt he was there. But he wasn't ready to have someone new rely solely on him as he did Lance, it was too soon for that.

Kevin seriously thought about the task he'd imparted on Justin and the reaction he'd gotten in return. He knew that the younger man would be a little nervous, but terrified had not been in his plan. "I'm not going to force you to do something you don't want to do," Kevin started, pausing to chuckle at the look of disbelief on Justin's face. "Be quiet you! But seriously Justin, I think that you'll be a fantastic Buddy. You've got such a sunny disposition, you're a positive role model for all the other patients in here..."

Justin rolled his eyes and shook his head. Kevin blowing sunshine up his ass was not what he needed right now.

Kevin laughed in resignation. "Okay, okay. So you've got an attitude problem, use that middle finger way more than is allowed here, refuse to do anything we ask you to do until we're blue in the face from demanding it be done... and seem to think that you can hide behind your silence, we all know this."

Justin nodded, Kevin being honest was much more attractive, not to mention appreciated.

"But the bottom line is that I've chosen you for this job. Just do me a favour, read the file. Read about him, give it a try. If you find out that you still don't want to do it, just let me know and we'll find alternate arrangements. But effective Friday afternoon, you've got a new roommate."

Justin sighed. It was now Tuesday, he had 3 days to prepare for his new buddy. As Justin exited Kevin's office, he wondered if this was how Lance felt when he'd learned he'd be a Buddy. Probably not, Lance lived for this type of leadership thing. Justin on the other hand, liked to blend into the background, unaware and unnoticed.

Minutes later he opened his bedroom door and headed towards the desk, laying out the file so he could go over the details of their newest patient.

It was two hours later when Justin was startled by the knock on his door. "Justin?" Josh stepped in, holding another envelope in his hand. "It appears that Kevin was only given the first of two files. He wanted you to have this information as well, just in case."

Justin had learned that not everything was included in the files he was given. As per patient confidentiality, Justin was only given the basic information that would make his job a little easier in trying to understand and help the patient adapt to his new surroundings. Justin nodded, indicating that Josh could leave the file on the corner of his desk. He was engrossed in the story of this person's life.

Nickolas Gene Carter. Born January 28th, only three days before Justin's own birthday. Nick was one year older though.

The more Justin read, the more intrigued he was until he realized midway through, that despite whether or not he felt he was capable of doing this, he was going to do it anyways. When he'd read and reread all of the reports at least three or four times, Justin remembered that Josh had brought down a second file. Opening it up, Justin didn't find more documents and reports, he found drawings, poems, stories and song lyrics. It was vaguely similar to a portfolio, except everything was done in rough work. Justin felt shivers through his spine.

"You coming for dinner J?" Lance knocked softly, poking his head into Justin's room. Justin jumped at the fact that he'd missed the whole afternoon, not realizing it was already time for supper. He nodded, standing up and stretching. It took just a few seconds, but Justin reorganized everything, sliding them safely into the desk drawer. The last thing he wanted was anyone having access to open files on his desk and reading something that wasn't any of their business.

"So, are you going to do it? Be this new kid's buddy?" Lance asked as they walked down the hall to the dining room.

At first Justin shrugged before simply nodding.

"You want to talk about it?" Lance didn't want to pry for information, but felt that something was off with his younger friend. Odds were that something in the patient's files had touched Justin and he was trying to process it's meaning in his mind. He watched as Justin consider his offer and finally shake his head negatively.

Justin didn't want to betray any confidences at all, especially before he'd even gotten to know Nick. It was Nick's story to tell, and if he didn't want everyone knowing his history, the reason for him being brought to Three Oaks, Justin wasn't going to be the one to share. It would be Nick's decision in how much he would have others know. But he appreciated Lance's concern none the less.

"Okay, but if you need to get it all out, just let me know. Okay?"

Justin's response was a wink and a smile.

The day of Nick's arrival was to go similar to that of Justin's first day. Nick would be admitted around 3 p.m., and would be greeted by Justin. They would have a little while to get to know each other and then they'd be expected at dinner. Justin wouldn't have to go to afternoon activities or sessions, as it would give Nick time to have a tour of the building, the grounds and then just some relaxing time before bed.

They would be expected to be at breakfast and then morning sessions, where Nick would be integrated into the whole Three Oaks experience.

The difference was that along with Justin, Lance would also accompany them. After a long discussion with Josh, Kevin agreed that Nick was going to need someone, at least in the beginning, to explain vocally, everything Justin couldn't gesture. If Nick had questions that Justin couldn't answer, it would be good to have someone along. They would take things day by day, handling issues as they arose.

Justin spent the whole day nervous and pacing, anxious to meet Nick but at the same time afraid. He'd spent hours and hours going over both files, feeling a mixture of emotions. Nick's story was not typical, emotional enough to reduce Justin to tears a few times as he'd poured over each detail. Meeting Nick was going to make the case just that more real, and Justin wasn't sure if he was ready for it.

"J? You ready?" Joey called into the rec. room where he'd been told Justin was relaxing. "Carter's here and you're on, buddy!"

Justin jumped up from where he'd been laying on the floor, nervous and jittery. Joey chuckled at how pale he was, and how frightened he looked.

"It's going to be okay kiddo, you're gonna do fine. Plus, he's kinda hot so you're gonna be thanking Kevin for giving you a direct in with the new kid."

Justin's stomach fluttered a few times at Joey's words. It had been forever since he'd actually thought about anyone romantically and honestly hadn't expected to ever again. Everyone in the hospital was too close to him, not to mention none of the men were exactly his type. He blushed profusely as he followed Joey down the hall towards his room.

They knocked once, then twice to give Nick some warning that they were there, Joey answering the door as Justin heard a "come in," from within.

Justin stepped into his room, stopping instantly as he saw the young man standing before him, poised defensively, as he imagined he had only two and a half years earlier. Suddenly it was a case of deja vu, only this time he was on the other side of the exchange. Justin shook his head of the cobwebs before pasting a smile on his face.

Joey had been wrong, Nick wasn't 'kinda hot'. He was beautiful. Breathtaking. Angelic. Justin lost his breath and knew that both of the other men heard his pitiful gasp for air. Thankfully Joey wasn't frozen like a deer in the headlights like he was.

"Carter, you settling in okay?"

Nick shrugged in response. "S'pose."

"Good. So this is Justin Timberlake, he's your Buddy. This is his room and you'll be sharing with him until you get your own room after your probationary period. He's been here 2 and a half years, and if you have any problems, questions or concerns, he's here to help alleviate them."

Nick flashed Justin a strange look before turning his attention back to Joey. "What, he can't talk for himself?"

Joey shrugged. "No."

Nick hadn't been expecting that answer and so, did a double take. Justin, as Joey had introduced him, looked extremely uncomfortable. He kept shifting from foot to foot, clearly unnerved by his presence. Nick pushed away the feeling of irritation at being in another facility and focused on what was happening right now. "I'm sorry, what? No?"

"No, he doesn't talk."

"Like, at all or to new people?" Nick watched Justin raise an eyebrow and cross his arms over his chest. He'd already managed to piss off his roommate, Nick wasn't so sure this was a good idea. Joey simply chuckled as if he was dealing with children. Nick supposed he figured he was.

"At all. He doesn't speak at all. Can, but just won't. Persistent little fucker," Joey punched Justin's arm affectionately before turning back to Nick. "So yeah, just remember, just because he doesn't talk, doesn't mean he can't. Doesn't mean he's deaf, dumb or retarded. He gets really pissed off if you treat him as such. And despite the fact that he's got this issue with violence, if you piss him off enough, I'm sure he'll kick your ass. So watch what you say to him and how you say it."

Justin gave Joey the finger before pushing him out the door.

"See what I mean Carter? A real time bomb, waiting to go off." Joey was much more amused by his humour than Justin felt necessary and felt the need to give him the finger one more time before shutting the door behind him, which left him alone in the room with Nick.

Justin felt his pulse speed up once more, a nervous excitement pooling in his stomach. He turned to face Nick, surprised to see the older man studying him curiously. Justin gave a nervous shrug and walked towards his desk to sit on top. If anyone was going to have to start this conversation, it was Nick.

"So you don't talk?" Nick asked, unable to believe it. Justin shook his head in response, slowly as if it would help Nick understand.

"For how long?"

Justin held up three fingers and Nick assumed since Joey said he'd been there for two and a half years, he'd had the problem before being admitted to Three Oaks.

"THREE YEARS?" Nick nearly screeched in disbelief. He blushed at Justin's embarrassed reaction. "Sorry, it's just..." Nick paused to scratch his head thoughtfully. "You haven't spoken a word in three years?"

Justin gave a silent 'no'.

"Wow. That's wild."

Once again the room fell silent and neither boy new what to do next. Finally Justin took out a sheet of paper and wrote a note. When it was finished, he held it up for Nick to read.

'Do you need help unpacking?' it read. Justin failed to think about how he'd never once in his time at Three Oaks used this direct method of communication, not wanting to have to analyze it's implications. Within moments of reading his file, not to mention seconds of meeting him, Justin could tell that Nick was a very special individual and already, he'd managed to elicit emotions in Justin that had been long since shoved away.

Nick gave a shrug, heading towards the two large sized bags that he had brought up with him. What he wanted to do was just crawl into his bed and be left alone, but that would eventually lead into falling asleep, where the nightmares would plague him. So he definitely would be the wiser for not getting himself into that situation. In the span of four years, Nick had been in and out of facilities such as this one, all proving to be the exact same as the last, and the one before that and the one before that. Despite its promises to be different from the others, Nick didn't exactly have high hopes for Three Oaks.

Granted, he was impressed that he'd been assigned a 'buddy' to make his transition into the facility a little easier, and he couldn't deny that Justin was quite possibly the most beautiful creature that he'd ever seen in his life, but it didn't disguise the fact that in the end, he was in yet another mental institution and abandoned by everyone who claimed to love and want to protect him from the monsters that had lived in his closets.

Within a half an hour, Nick's belongings were stored neatly in the other half of Justin's room. They were each sitting on their beds, staring at one another, unsure of where to proceed. Nick wasn't exactly in a 'talkative mood', not wanting to fill the silence. Justin was simply unable to focus on anything except the blonde god in front of him. Finally, Nick pulled out a sketch pad and started drawing, relieved to have something to do to occupy the million and one thoughts swirling in his head Following Nick, Justin pulled out his leather bound journal and began to write, both men engrossed in their own activities until a knock sounded at the door, interrupting their silence.

After giving enough notice, Lance pushed open the door, unsure of what he would find inside Justin's room. As he entered, he noticed Justin on his bed, the new patient, Nick, on the empty bed. "Gentlemen, how are we this afternoon?"

Nick watched Justin's face light up into a brilliant smile and felt a jolt of excitement flow through his body. He had no idea who this person was, but for him to cause that reaction from Justin, meant he was someone important. Nick felt himself retreat into his shell just a little bit. In a surprising move, the stranger winked at Justin before turning his full attention onto him.

"Hey, you must be Nickolas Carter, welcome to Three Oaks."

Lance approached the bed, not getting too close but not keeping a great distance. He waited as Nick slid off of the bed and stood nervously in front of him. When Nick extended his hand to shake, Lance met him half way.

"Yeah, that's me. But it's just Nick. Or Carter, either works. Only my mother and grandmother call me Nickolas."

Lance nodded with a warm smile on his face. "Good to know. I'm Lance. I'll be your pseudo tour guide for the first little bit, until you feel comfortable not having a translator." Lance nodded towards Justin who was rolling his eyes, a hint of blush creeping up his neck. "If you have any questions, feel free to ask either of us." Lance checked his watch, making a small sound of disbelief. "We should get to dinner, Alex is going to meet us there."

Nick watched Justin nod and make a few gestures at Lance which the other man seemed to understand perfectly. They had a strange conversation before they were all ready to go down to the dining hall, Nick following behind at a distant pace. Although he had felt oddly comforted by Justin's presence, felt a little awkward with the constant silence. He felt as though he should fill the gaps but really wasn't in the mood for idle, one sided conversation. The volume of the dining hall was a bit of a shock after a virtually silent afternoon in his room. Nick trailed behind his two 'buddies' as they wove towards the back of the room, grabbing trays and filing down the line.

Moments later they arrived at a table, where there were three other men sitting, two talking animatedly.

"And this Nick, is Howie, Alex and Brian," Lance introduced. "Howie, Alex and Brian, this is Nick Carter."

"Welcome to Three Oaks man," Alex said, extending his hand to shake. "We'd thought you'd all gotten lost or something." His last sentence was directed to Lance and Justin.

Justin shook his head, pointing at Lance and making talking motions with his hand, causing everyone to break into laughter.

"I was not talking too long. I just got caught up with Chris and lost track of time, so I got to their room late."

Nick watched as they teased each other in good nature, amazed at how laid back everyone in the dining hall seemed to be. It was obvious that they were not at full capacity of the institution, the amount of people a comfortable fit. He was grateful that they were involved in their own conversations, as it gave him time to study everyone and find his own comfort zone. It was Brian talking to himself that caught his attention.

Lance noticed Nick watching them all closely, probably trying to assess everyone. Kevin had informed him that it wasn't Nick's first institution, so despite the fact that he was new there, he was an old hand at hospitals. "Don't mind him," Lance said softly, touching Nick's arm to get his attention. "He's got a full house today."

A look of confusion crossed Nick's face and he looked at Lance before turning his attention back to Brian. "I don't understand."

"Shut up... you're going to scare the new kid..." Brian mumbled, shaking his head. "No.. it's not our business why he's in here.. he'll tell us when he's ready... I can't hear anything with you talking so loud in my ear.. stop screaming.."

Nick was stunned as to how no one else seemed to notice Brian's rambling to no one in particular. He guessed they were used to it, but with Brian's voice raising steadily, someone was going to have to notice. What happened next caused for Nick's jaw to drop in disbelief. Howie leaned over, grabbed Brian's head and spoke directly into his ear, voice barely audible.

"Leave Brian alone. Dinner time. SHHHHHH!"

Justin snickered as Howie went back to his meal, oblivious to the stares they were getting.

"Brian's got a full house.. all of his voices have come out to play. In your honour of course," Alex explained ruffling Brian's curls. "Isn't that right Bri?"

"Curious.." Brian shrugged, taking a bite of his pizza. "They want to know your story." Brian cocked his head to the side, as if listening to something. "SHUT UP!" He screamed, causing everyone at the table to jump, their trays rattling.

Nick's eyes were wide, his skin pale. Once again, Lance rest his hand on Nick's arm comfortingly. "Maybe we should fill you in on who we are... well, according to Three Oaks anyways."

For the next twenty minutes, they each filled Nick in on their reasons for being at Three Oaks. They went around the table, Lance speaking for Justin and Alex speaking for Howie.

"And there you have the brat pack," a voice spoke from behind. Nick turned around to see the man he remembered to be Kevin, standing behind him. He knew Kevin was the head doctor and founder of Three Oaks Facility, a man he'd had a few meetings with before being admitted into their hospital. Although he was a doctor, the assumed enemy, Nick had enjoyed his meetings with the older man. For the first time since everything had started with him, he'd felt that someone cared about HIM. Kevin had listened to his answers, his recounts of what had happened to him, from when he was a child to mere years ago when he'd been admitted to his first hospital. Never once had Kevin made any assumptions or accusations, only speaking to ask a question or have Nick clarify something.

"Dr. Richardson," Nick said softly. He'd been bombarded with a lot since sitting down for dinner and was feeling a little cagey.

"Nickolas, how are you adjusting?" Kevin asked.

Lance began to laugh, garnering the attention of the whole table.

"What's so funny Bass?" Kevin asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well, Nick here said that the only people that call him Nickolas are his grandmother and his mother, so I was just wondering.. which of those are you?"

The whole table burst into laughter, including Nick and Kevin.

"God Lance, scar me for life why don't you?" Alex joked, shuddering. "Now I have a vision of Kevin in an old granny dress in my head. Nightmares for a month, courtesy of Lance Bass. Asshole."

"Alex, language. Although I agree, you're just whack Bass," Kevin grabbed a chair, joining the table. I just decided to stop by and see how things were going. Plus, seeing that it's so nice today, everyone's got outside recreation after dinner. We're holding session out there tonight, just for a change of pace. So while Lance, Nick and Justin are having a tour of the grounds, we'll all be outside too. You don't have to join us, Nick doesn't start till tomorrow, but if you want to sit off to the side and observe, you can."

The evening would basically consist of Justin and Lance giving Nick a tour of the grounds, and filling him in on the codes of conduct that Kevin and Josh had them abide by. They were expected at lights out by eleven since it was Friday night, and then the morning would start Nick's regular routine.

Nick felt a jolt of jealousy shoot through him as he watched the men before him interact so easily. They were a tight knit community, very exclusive by the looks of it. The emotion between them was obvious and Nick wished he'd been somewhere long enough to develop those types of bonds. He'd never, in his life, allowed anyone that close to him, for fear of being hurt or having his trust abused. Hence, he'd lived most of his life alone and isolated, both by his parents doing and his own.

"Give it time," Kevin spoke softly so only Nick could hear him. With his casual observation, he could see how much Nick longed for human contact, extended human contact. Knowing the blonde's file, he was aware of the conditions of his admittance into institutions such as this one, and understood why he was the way he was, but it still didn't stop him from longing for the connections similar to those he was currently paying witness to. Kevin was confident that just given some time, Nick would be a part of their clique unconditionally, providing him with the support he so desperately craved.

"What?" Nick asked, blushing as he looked down at his feet.

"They're great individuals Nick, just let them see you. Don't hide..."

"I just need time."

"You've got all the time you need, just don't hide. Justin knows your story.." Kevin saw the horror flash in Nick's eyes and watched as he began to shut down. "He has to Nick, just like Lance knew Justin's story before he arrived and Alex knew Lance's. We can't have him be your buddy without giving him at least a little background on why you're here and how you might react to him or this institution. He knows the basic premise of your file and has been warned accordingly regarding your 'episodes'."

Nick couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed that Justin knew everything that had happened to him, but at the same time, he hadn't seen any of the usual scorn and pity that people seemed to develop after learning about his situation. Justin just saw him, which was virtually unheard of, at least in his experience.

"They're good kids, you're in good hands now. They'll take care of you, just like I know you'll take care of them."

"They don't need me," Nick scoffed, a small hint of bitterness in his voice.

"They do, they just don't know it right now. You can't miss what you never had, but now that you're here, they'll see that they've been lacking something. There's a reason that you were put on this floor, with these patients."

"What's that reason?" Nick asked. He was watching his new 'friends' converse while he himself was talking to Kevin. Focusing his attention on the doctor, he saw a wry grin playing on his lips.

"I have no idea, but when it all unravels, we'll all know what it was."

Lance could tell that Nick and Kevin were having a semi private discussion, the blonde looking sad and forlorn. There was something about Nick that tugged at his heart, not to mention the way that Justin couldn't help but stare openly at him. They'd known from the first minute that Justin was gay, as he didn't hesitate in telling them, but never once had he seen him even interested in anyone.

"So Carter, there's a rule here. Only one mute per social group. That position's already taken here, so you're going to have to start talking," Alex said, ducking the wadded up napkin Justin chucked at him. Everyone began to laugh, even Nick despite himself.

"I don't have much to say."

"Well, we've shared our stories with you, from Lance's dreams of fame and fortune to Brian's clown car of personalities in his head... what's your deal?"

The whole table paused, watching Nick's face turn a pale, sickly white then red in embarrassment. "I.. I..." Nick stuttered, looking helplessly around the table, his eyes stopping on Justin's, which were watching him closely. Justin's eyes were filled with emotion and concern, which only caused for Nick's heart to race faster.

"Don't be so nosy," Lance scolded, noting Nick's obvious discomfort. Alex turned red in embarrassment, everyone opting to look around uncomfortably.

"No.. it's okay. I'm just not ready to ..." Nick tried to explain.

"No, don't worry about it. I'm sorry, I'm an asshole," Alex apologized. "Sometimes I say things without thinking them through. You don't have to tell us anything you're not ready to."

"Thanks," Nick whispered, barely looking up from his plate. He could still feel Justin's eyes on him, while everyone else did whatever they could to avoid looking at him.

In a movement of pure adrenaline, Justin jumped up from the table. The sudden movement startled Howie who shrieked, startling everyone else. The moment broke the awkwardness and everyone started laughing. Justin made a movement towards the door, indicating to Lance and Nick he was ready to start the tour.

At eleven, they were back in Justin and Nick's room, waiting for Chris to arrive. After the awkwardness of dinner, everything seemed to have gone smoother for the rest of the night, leaving Justin feeling good about being Nick's buddy. They had gone outside and Lance had managed to coax Nick at least a little out of his shell, as they started talking about Florida, which was where Nick had originated from. Alex had joined them for the inside tour of the facility, all four men disappointed when the night had to come to an end.

"So we'll see you at breakfast tomorrow, right Carter?" Alex asked, slapping Nick on the back.

"I guess so, gotta eat right?"

"True, true. Sweet dreams boys." Alex and Lance headed down the hall in the directions of their rooms, leaving the two men alone.

"Candy train, candy train," Chris called, knocking on the door and entering. He saw Justin curled on his bed, writing furiously into his journal, just as he was every night waiting for his vitamins. On the other bed sat the man who Chris knew was Nick Carter. "Hey Nick?"

The blonde nodded, standing up. "Yeah, that's me."

"I'm Chris. You'll get to know me a little better as time goes on. I deliver pills and vitamins, and run most afternoon activities. You need anything, let me know."

Nick nodded uncomfortably. Justin stood up, joining him in the middle of the room, waiting for his dose.

Justin watched as Chris handed him a small cup of his vitamins, checking each one. It was something that even after two years, Chris always did without fail. Lance's episode had left emotional scars on Chris that even working with Kevin in private sessions, couldn't heal. Chris admittedly would never be able to erase the event from his memory, so each night when dispensing pills, he would check, recheck and triple check to make sure everything was right. They'd never had a repeat since, and Justin knew that they never would.

Once they'd both taken their dispensed medications and vitamins, Chris bid them both a good night and closed the light. Justin crawled into the bed, knocking gently on the wall over his head.

"Everything okay?" Nick asked, concerned. Looking over at Justin's bed, he saw the other man smiling at him.

Justin nodded.

"Then why the knock?"

It was then that Justin realized Nick wouldn't know anything about the code he and Lance had set up while rooming together. Lance had always seemed to wait until the lights were turned out to say goodnight and he would never see Justin's response, so in turn, Justin would knock on the wall to say goodnight. He grabbed the journal from under his pillow and scribbled something in it before holding it up for Nick to see.

'Two knocks on the wall after lights out means goodnight. Two knocks in the morning means good morning.'

Nick smiled, finding it corny but endearing. "Okay, well good night then."

Again, Justin knocked twice on the wall before turning over and closing his eyes. It had been an emotional day and just wanted to fall into a deep, peaceful sleep.

End Part 9


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