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Title: Obligatory Breakup Fic
Author:
Part: 1/1
Rating: NC 17
Pairing: TimberNick with a side of something else
Disclaimer: Except for the fact that Nick and Paris DID break up, and Justin and Cameron DID NOT, this is all fiction for entertainment purposes.
Warnings: Slash warning. Bigroupal warning. Schmoop warning.
Notes: So this is the obligatory Nick/Paris break up fic. Of course they broke up and of course I am going to have him going straight to Justin... or Justin straight to him... or .. *evil smile* whatever!! LOL. I had the map from A to B all planned out, and well lets just say that the muses took the DETOUR! It went all sorts of places I wasn't anticipating and I'm rather happy with it. I refuse to comment on the issue of domestic abuse between Nick and Paris because it is quite possibly the stupidest thing I have ever heard. I guess there IS my comment on it. But that's all I am going to say on the matter.

~*~*~*~

There was trouble in Paradise. There had been for some time now, but Justin knew better than to listen to gossip. It was rare that gossip and hearsay were actually found to be truthful, and so for that reason when he'd heard the initial reports that Nick and Paris were on the road directly to Dumpsville, he refused to get his hopes up. At least not for a second time! Or tenth!

Where Cameron was his beard, a fact that all parties involved were aware of, Nick and Paris' relationship was legit. A fact that still baffled Justin after all these months. What had started as just the two blondes getting together, having fun and not thinking too much about the future, had ended up with tattoos of each other's names, marriage discussions and what could possibly be the most stable and positive relationship that Justin had ever witnessed Nick to have.

Justin could still taste the bitterness in his mouth every time he thought about Nick's happiness with someone that wasn't him.

"Your boy's looking mighty fine," Cameron commented, the resentment poorly hidden in her delivery. Justin rolled his eyes and fought not to punch her in the mouth. His momma would most likely be pissed if he actually followed through with that desire. She sure as hell did not raise an animal, and under no circumstances was her son allowed to act like one.

"What?" His voice was dull, and he did what he could to not react to her obvious taunting.

"Carter. He looks good. You should stop being a pussy and call him. Well, what with Paris out of the picture and all."

Justin's neck ached with whiplash as his head spun on his shoulders. He nearly fell off the chair and had to pick his jaw up off of the floor. "Excuse me?"

Cameron enjoyed the moment and gloated, very briefly. She then told Justin what she knew he would be curious to know, but his pride would never let him ask. Despite their severely unusual relationship, she did care about the younger man, more than she probably should considering their arrangement. Those feelings often showed through in her jealousy and resentment towards his feelings for Nick Carter, the one thing standing between her and happiness. "They broke up. The rumours are true this time. Your boyfriend is single again."

Justin felt his palms go sweaty, his pulse raced. A flash of resentment for the way Cameron was treating him appeared, but almost instantly, the weight of what she was saying had sunk in and Justin felt nervous anticipation fill his whole body. He shook his head, clearing his vision. Cameron stood before him, watching, waiting for his reaction. He chose not to give her one.

Instead, he shrugged and turned on his heel. "Whatever," he muttered. With an exit that left his pseudo girlfriend stunned, Justin went to talk to the only person he knew would understand. The only person who could possibly sympathize with what he was going through and wouldn't judge him, no matter what he said or did.

Within forty minutes, he was standing on a familiar verandah, waiting for someone to answer the door. Finally, it swung open and Justin breathed a sigh of relief that it was the person he'd gone to see.

"Jesus, Timberlake! What the fuck?"

Justin should have been offended by the surprise in his friend's voice at his visit, not to mention the expression of distrust on his face, but he wasn't. Without sitting down and really having to concentrate, Justin could not remember the last time he'd visited. Any contact they'd had in recent months... years... had been a result of coincidence. This was the first time in ages Justin had sought him out.

"Joey, what's going on?" Justin nervously fidgeted with the hem of his tee shirt. There was a mixture of anxiety and trepidation, and the longer he stood there silently, the worse it got.

Joey recognized the insecure flash in Justin's eyes and felt his irritation dissolve. Something must have happened for Justin to be standing on his porch. Quickly, Joey mentally flipped through his memory and concluded that it either had to do with the other guys and the feud they were currently involved in with Justin, or .... Nick Carter. With the fact that just that morning Joey had read in the paper that the golden couple, Nick Carter and Paris Hilton had broken up, Joey concluded that this was going to be a Nick-centric visit.

The sky was a clear blue, there was a slight wind in the air and as a bird squawked loudly, Joey forgot about any reservations that he had felt at seeing Justin on his porch after so long. He then pulled the younger man into his arms and hugged him tightly. "J, Baby, it's been too long kid."

Justin sighed with something that was too strong to be simply relief. His heart was racing and as Joey held him close, he wondered how he could have thought he didn't need them anymore. And he had thought that, honest to god believed it too. He'd been convinced that while NSYNC had been good while it lasted, helping them put their names on the music industry's map, he'd been ready to ditch the baggage and go out on his own.

He wasn't proud of himself for feeling that way, so in that moment, he was relieved to find that he was wrong. He did need the other four. He would always need them for as long as he lived, and it took going out there on his own and feeling the loneliness to bring him to that realization. The feel of Joey's arms around him, hearing his heart beat against his cheek and inhaling the scent that was pure Joey only hit that point harder. As relieved as he was to come to this conclusion, he was more relieved to find that they hadn't completely written him off. If they had, Joey would have slammed the door in his face immediately, it was just how Joey was, and it was something Justin had always envied in the older man. This was exactly what he needed right now and Justin sagged against Joey's large frame.

"I'm sorry," Justin breathed, unsure of exactly what part of everything he was apologizing for, but at the same time realized that he owed the other man that much. Without hesitation, Joey pulled away enough so that they could look into each others' eyes.

"Shhhh."

Justin didn't want to be babied, and he sure as hell wasn't interested in Joey's attempt to avoid dealing with the shit that had gone down between them. Between Justin and all of them. "I won't."

"It's not important now, J! We can deal with all of the apologies, the anger and the resentment later. Right now, it's not important."

There was anger and resentment? That caused for Justin's mouth to form a frown and his eyebrows to furrow. Not to mention the way his stomach churned sickly. Joey nodded as he led Justin further into the house and towards the living room. It was Joey that spoke first. "Unless that's why you came over. To, out of the blue, apologize, because if it is, we CAN deal with that now."

With his lip captured between his teeth, Justin shook his head. He hadn't gone by to apologize, at least it wasn't his main reason for being there. That seemed, out of the blue or planned, an obvious way to bridge the ever increasing gap that was coming between them. A sense of shame replaced the anxiety that was already there and his selfishness hit him directly in the stomach. He hadn't been here in ages and now, the moment he needed something, Justin hadn't even hesitated in rushing right over. He was there because he needed reassurance and advice. It was always about him. Endless accusations, all in his best friend's voices, rang in his ears and for the first time since he could remember, he agreed with them. They'd been right all along. Joey's laughter broke him from the daze he was in.

"You must be all turned out, huh! You should see the look on your face."

Justin could only imagine. It was probably that of someone who had just now come to the realization that he was the shallow, loveless, egotistical asshole he'd been accused of. He could only sigh and try not to cry. "I just..."

Joey waited. He was going to make Justin do the talking. Until given the go ahead, Joey wasn't going to offer any advice or make any revelations. The last time he had, Justin nearly ensured that he would never be able to have sex again. His dick still hurt from the blow of Justin's fist.

With one look into Joey's eyes, Justin knew Joey knew. It was a matter of him being able to say it out loud, admitting the truth. Justin also knew what Joey was going to say, they'd had this argument more times than Justin's ego was willing to admit, and despite the fact that they always seemed to argue about what Justin's recourse should be, he always went straight to Joey when he needed to talk about it.

Justin secretly believed himself to be a masochist.

"They broke up and now I think that I should make my move, but only if he feels the same way. I don't want to say something if he's just going to react by telling me to fuck the hell off."

Both men knew that Justin didn't need to clarify who he was talking about. It was just known that the 'he' in question was Nick and the 'they' was Nick and Paris. Once Justin started to talk, he kept going and Joey felt himself drifting.

Joey had to admit, he was impressed. He hadn't expected Justin to get right into it. He'd honestly thought that he would have to endure painful small talk and idle chit chat until Justin felt okay enough to bring up Nick and Paris' split and where that left him, if anywhere. He raised an eyebrow and nodded his head. Justin barely noticed.

"...and I thought I was getting better. I really did. I haven't thought about him ... or that night..."

"That night?" Justin made it sound like it was a one time thing, but the story Joey had gotten was something different.

Justin paused, blushed and gave a shy smile. "Well okay...." He said after a few moments. "That weekend! That long weekend.... but damn. I haven't thought about it in forever and I thought I was over it. Over him."

The look on Justin's face displayed that of pure hopelessness and anguish and it caused for a giggle to escape Joey's lips. When Justin glared at him he held his hands up in surrender.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry! Forgive me if I find it funny when Justin Timberlake admits he's turned inside out over someone, and that someone is Nick fucking Carter. The SAME Nick Carter who followed you around for how long? Only to be treated like he was some disease."

Justin's scowl deepened, only further amusing Joey. Justin didn't need to be reminded of his idiocy, not by Joey when he did a good enough job of it himself every day.

"Can we deal with the here and now please? No need to revisit the past. Okay?"

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Justin continued where he'd left off.

"So just when I thought I was over him, he breaks up with her and I realize I might have another chance. And .... now I don't know what I should do. Do I run the risk of telling him and having him reject me, making me look more pathetic than we both know I am? Or, do I not tell him and .. not tell him?"

Joey sighed. The same dilemma as always. Or at least for as long as he could remember. Before he could respond with his usual advice, the phone rang. Both men breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yeah?"

"Joe? You busy?" Joey smiled when he heard the voice on the other end of the line. It had been a long time, too long since he'd heard it. Just thinking about Kevin sent chills up Joey's spine and put butterflies in his stomach. He had to fight to speak normally.

"Sorta.. got some company."

"Oh." Kevin paused, as if trying to find the right words. "Do you have a minute though?"

Joey's pulse raced and he felt slightly nauseous. He couldn't deal with this, not in front of Justin and not after what happened the last time. His cheeks burned with the memory of his embarrassment. "Not exactly." Joey heard Kevin inhale deeply before exhaling in resignation.

"It's about Justin. Well... Justin and Cameron."

Joey's head tilted to the side, his interest was certainly piqued. He wondered why Kevin would call him regarding Justin, let alone his relationship with Cameron. Especially so soon after hearing about Nick's break up with Paris. Joey was more than curious, but he had to let Kevin know that Justin was there, without letting Justin know he was talking to Kevin. Especially when the topic was him. Turning to his friend he moved to cover the mouthpiece, leaving it close to his mouth.

"Justin? Can you give me a second? I have to take this."

Justin nodded and rested his head against the back of the couch. He closed his eyes and tried to make his body relax completely. He felt Joey stand up and exit the room, most likely going to the kitchen or his office.

"Oh shit, he's there?" Kevin said softly into the phone.

"Yeah. Hold on, let me get somewhere private." Joey went into his office and shut the door, locking it before sitting down at the desk in the corner. It didn't matter how much he wanted to talk about anything but Justin and Cameron, starting with him and Kevin, Joey swallowed thickly and took a few deep cleansing breaths. Finally, he was ready. "Now what's up?"

"I'm sure you've heard about Nick and Paris."

"Yeah, the whole world has. Is it true? For real?"

Kevin bit his lip as his stomach did weird flippy things. It had been a hell of a long time since anyone had made his stomach do weird flippy things, and Joey seemed to have a knack to do it without even trying. Kevin was thankful that the other man couldn't see the tremble in his hands, the way he was nervously doodling on a piece of paper, trying to do anything but think about the past and mistakes that couldn't be changed. "One hundred percent truth. I was there. This is no publicity stunt, this is no joke. They are, effective a few days ago, finished."

"And?" Joey was curious as to why this involved Justin and Cameron's relationship, or why Kevin was calling HIM with the information. It made more sense for him to call JC, who he was actually pretty good friends with. Still. That burned another little hole in Joey's heart, not to mention his weather beaten ego.

"Well, we read that Justin cheated on Cam with some model over in Europe and that they broke up, but then we look at the cover of fucking US or Entertainment Weekly or one of those fucking rag magazines that have nothing better to do than perpetuate stereotypes of how we're supposed to live our lives and how we don't measure up to the standards that society has fucking dictated to us, and it says that they're more in love than ever and she knows and believes he didn't cheat on her."

Joey's lips curled into a grin, he'd really missed Kevin's long windedness. Shaking his head, he focused on the task at hand. "He did cheat, just not with THAT model."

That was enough to stop Kevin dead in his tracks. The line went silent for about ten seconds. "What?"

"Oh Justin was fucking around over there, but it wasn't with her. I don't know ALL the details, but the model Justin was fucking was a little more masculine, as in a male model." Joey could hear the gears shifting in Kevin's head. He waited.

"So they are breaking up or aren't?"

"Why? Why is this so important to you?"

Kevin questioned whether or not he should be completely honest, but remembered who he was talking to and knew it would be kept confidential. "Well, Nick was kind of hoping that the rumours were true, just in that Cam found him cheating on her and they broke up. But then he saw the magazine and figured it was hopeless."

Joey couldn't have been more shocked to find out that Nick was still interested in Justin, enough to have Kevin call and find out the situation. Joey wondered if they all spent too much time around teenage girls on the road that it rubbed off on them. The mere thought made him want to go and take a shower, sanitizing himself entirely. He shuddered and snapped out of it. "Are you serious?"

"I wouldn't lie."

Joey was silent and Kevin knew the Italian had earned the right to distrust him.

"I wouldn't lie about this, Joe. Not when it concerns Nick and Justin."

"Oh, so they are worthy of concern and respect where I wasn't. Good to know where I stood. Still stand." Joey couldn't keep the resentment and animosity out of his voice and regretted his words instantly.

"Joe.."

"No, listen. I'm sorry. This isn't about you or me. This is about them. No, Justin and Cam didn't break up. But they're not together either. They're just... there. She's just there."

"What does that mean exactly? She's just there." Kevin successfully pushed everything besides Nick and Justin out of his head so he could deal with the issue at hand.

"She's his beard. They don't have a relationship except for the cameras. Justin learned with Britney to give people what they want, the seemingly perfect relationship, but he refuses to go through that again. So he does what people expect of him in public, and what he wants in private. Nick should know that, they spent, what? Four days... five days together in private."

"Four days that Nick still hasn't been able to forget. It's been almost two years and Nick still remembers it like it was last week. He got a little excited at the prospect of Justin being available."

"He is available. Always has been, at least for Nick. All Nick has to do is say the word." Joey thought about something, curiosity prompting him to ask. "Does Nick know you're calling?"

"No. Does Justin know you're talking to me right now?"

"No. So Justin wants Nick, Nick wants Justin," Joey stated the obvious, wanting to make sure they were both on the same page. The issue at hand now was to figure out how to go about getting the two men together.

"What's Justin doing next weekend?" Kevin asked out of the blue. Joey recognized the tone of Kevin's voice and felt the hair on his arms stand up. The older man had a plan.

"I don't know, why?"

"I'm going to take Nick to Las Vegas. Tell him it's a present to help him get over Paris and welcome back to the single life. I'll get him there under the ruse that it's for the two of us to spend time together, bond and just be men."

Joey knew exactly where Kevin was going with this and felt his stomach clench in excitement. "And?"

"And," Kevin's voice lowered an octave or two, his accent thickening right there, before Joey's ears. "You can bring Justin to Vegas. We'll stay in the same hotel they stayed at last time they were both in town, figure out how to get them to hook up and while they're discovering each other's feelings, we can maybe..."

Joey's breathing hitched and he closed his eyes in hopes that the room would stop spinning. His mouth was instantly dry and he took a few calming breaths. "Kevin!" His voice was stern. "This isn't about us."

"I know, it's about them. But..."

"No Kevin. I'll be there, but for Justin. I hate seeing him like this. Pining after Nick, not realizing that he could have him if he just would say something, tell him how he feels. It's a big risk to take, especially not knowing how the other person feels and I don't blame him for being afraid. I wish I was as cautious in who I love as he is." Joey paused to catch his breath and calm himself. "So we'll be there. Let me know the details when you know what's happening and I'll book accordingly. But just know, this isn't for you, or god forbid, us. It's for him, for them."

"Joey.. please.."

"No, I have to go. Justin's going to wonder what's taking me so long. We'll be in touch."

Hanging up on Kevin was one of the single hardest things that Joey had ever done in his life. He stared at the phone for a few minutes before standing up and walking on unsteady legs back to the living room where Justin was sleeping lightly.

"You're back," Justin mumbled when he felt the couch dip beside him. He was curious as to who Joey had been talking to for that length of time, but could sense by the powerful vibes coming from Joey that he didn't want to talk about it.

"Something I needed to deal with immediately. Not to worry."

Justin was awake in an instant, remembering why he was there. "So, what do you think I should do." He waited for Joey's usual advice, instead he got something else entirely.

"Don't do anything for right now. Just chill out for a bit, see what happens. If it's meant to be, it is."

"What?"

Joey nodded. "Take it one day at a time. Let him come down from things with Paris and then see where your head is. Where his head is. It'll all work out, J." It was nothing similar to any of the advice Joey had previously given Justin where Nick as concerned and he knew the younger man was probably confused as to why he'd changed his opinions. A lot had changed and Joey wasn't the same person he once was. Kevin Richardson had seen to that.

Justin sat in silence, stunned. His face was scrunched up and Joey could tell he was trying to process it all. It was time to set things up for Kevin's plan. "What are you doing next weekend?"

He thought ahead to his schedule for the next little while and Justin shook his head. "Nothing, why?"

"Wanna go to Vegas? It's been a while, I know things have been pretty hairy with Cams and.... I miss you. I miss us. We have a lot to say to each other, we both know that, and I was thinking that doing it here with so many distractions wouldn't work..."

"And Vegas doesn't have distractions?" Justin chuckled causing for Joey to laugh with him.

"Totally different man, totally different. Seriously, what do you think?"

Justin thought about it for a few minutes, thinking it was a wonderful idea. "Yeah, I'm up for it."

Joey felt slightly guilty that he was luring Justin there under false pretenses, especially when he did want to talk things over with his younger friend yet knew that when they got to Vegas, they wouldn't have the opportunity to talk. Reconciling their differences was important to him, yet as soon as Nick and Justin realized what was going on, he probably wouldn't see much of Justin. An idea came to him and Joey grinned widely. "How about we drive up? That way, we can talk without either of us having anywhere to run or escape and by the time we get there, we'll be on the same page and it will give us a chance to enjoy Vegas without being kept in the room the whole time." Thankfully, Justin agreed and the plans were set.

They would drive up, do most of their talking during the four hour drive so that by the time they got there, Justin would be free to be with Nick. Joey just had to figure out how to deal with Kevin, and the fact that as adamant as he was that he wasn't going there for Kevin, they both knew he was.

~*~*~*~*~

Nick walked into the hotel room and inhaled deeply. It had been a long week and a half and while at the time, he'd thought Kevin was crazy for insisting they go on this male bonding road trip, he was glad that he had agreed. His relationship with Paris had ended amicably, as amicably as could be knowing they both still wanted to be together but for some reason had agreed to break up. He had successfully refrained from calling her to see if she wanted to get together knowing that if they did meet up, it would just end up with both of them naked and having sex, which was he definitely did not need if he was going to start moving on.

But to move on from Paris, he would need to move on from what he was still trying to move on from BEFORE Paris, and that was Justin Timberlake, although he probably wouldn't admit it to anyone except Kevin, who had almost beaten the admission right out of him. Okay, all it took was Kevin cocking his bushy eyebrow and giving him 'the look', but it was just as bad as if Kevin had beat it out of him.

Maybe that's what Nick needed, a good beating. It wasn't like he hadn't been taking an emotional one for the past ten years, not to mention the mental beating he'd endured all those years. But mostly, he just needed to realize that his infatuation with Justin, that should have been dealt with years and years before, was probably the single most unhealthy thing in his life, seeing that it had been almost eight years and still Justin, except for those wonderful four days nearly two years ago, showed no sign of interest.

Nick shook his head pushing thoughts of Justin out of his head. Kevin had admitted he'd done some undercover work, asking mutual friends which Nick could only assume was Josh since that was the only one of Justin's boys Kevin was on speaking terms with, to find out whether or not Justin was as happy with Cameron as the magazines made them out to be. Although Kevin had come back with some bad news regarding the possible break up, stating that yes, Cameron and Justin were still together, he'd also hinted that things weren't as they seemed. While they were hamming it up for the cameras, pretending to be the happy couple, things were amiss in the Timberlake-Diaz household. Nick held onto that news for dear life, daring to hope that he indeed stood half a chance at having something with Justin, even if it was just another fleeting weekend like the one they'd previously shared.

Kevin watched as Nick went immediately to the bedroom and threw his suitcase in the corner, simply opening the zipper and digging through haphazardly for something. When he found the tee shirt he was looking for, Nick removed the one he was wearing and replaced it with the other. He wanted desperately to tell Nick not to worry, that everything was going to be fine. But he knew he couldn't, because Nick would be suspicious as to why Kevin would feel that way and he would have to come up with a reason, none of which Kevin was willing to do right now. So he simply smiled at the blonde and followed suit, changing into something clean.

Three days earlier, Kevin had emailed Joey with finalized plans for the weekend. He and Nick were flying in and would be arriving in Las Vegas at around 5:40 in the afternoon. They would be having dinner at one of their usual restaurants at around 8 and it was after that he suggested that they start with the plan. Joey had emailed back to let Kevin know that they were going to be getting an early start to the day and planned on being in Vegas around lunch on Friday. Joey would make sure to not be anywhere near where Kevin or Nick could see them and yes, the plan should wait until after dinner. That gave him the whole day with Justin, which he was grateful for, but at the same time, gave him more time to figure out how to deal with what was going to go on with them while Justin and Nick were doing their thing.

It was just after seven when Nick felt his stomach growling. He hadn't eaten much all day and now that he was finally there, he was relaxed enough to feel his hunger. "What time's dinner?"

"Eight."

"And then?"

Kevin pretended to think about it before shrugging. "Let's just see what happens."

Nick gave a short nod as his stomach growled again, this time louder than the first. Both men looked at one another and burst into laughter.

"Why don't we go to the restaurant now, I'm sure they can fit us in," Kevin chuckled. He grabbed his wallet, the key to the room and held open the door for Nick knowing that when he returned to the room later that night, it would be with someone else.

~*~*

The drive felt too short and before Justin and Joey knew, they were entering the Las Vegas city limits. Justin felt an excitement he hadn't felt in a long time, and he knew it had everything to do with the man sitting beside him. They'd spent the first hour dancing around the issue they'd both so desperately wanted to talk about and finally, when Justin said 'fuck it' and they cut to the chase, they realized how much they'd both been bottling up inside.

Things had gotten so intense, that Joey was forced to pull over at a truck stop and they got out, securing a table near the back where they were afforded at least a little privacy. It was there they continued their conversation, clearing their consciences and airing out every single piece of dirty laundry they had, no matter how small and insignificant they felt it was. They laughed, they cried and most of all, promised that they weren't going to let so much time go by before they confronted each other the next time things started to get a little difficult for them. Justin agreed when Joey suggested he do the same with Chris, JC and especially Lance. It was clear that although not everything had been fixed between the two men, they'd made considerable ground in getting things back to the way they had used to be.

When they both felt it was safe to start driving again, they hit the road and continued on their path to Las Vegas, Justin relieved to get everything off his chest and have his best friend back, Joey anxious to get the second part of the plan under way.

It had nothing to do with Kevin. Not at all.

Maybe just a little.

The rest of the day passed by and before he knew it, Joey felt his cell phone vibrating his in jeans pocket. Discreetly, he slid the phone out enough so he could see the text message.

"Bar @ MGM by Blackjack on L2. 20 mins. C U!"

It was time. It would take them at least half an hour to get back to the hotel from where they were, which would be perfect. The last thing they wanted was for things to be too obvious and so arriving at the same time would look suspicious. Joey looked at Justin who had a genuine grin on his face.

"I was thinking we'd head back to the hotel. Maybe get a few drinks in the bar and then do some gambling. It's been a while since I've burnt any serious money!"

Justin considered the possibility and wrinkled his nose at the thought. He wanted to go out to a club, listen to some music and dance for a bit, not having to worry about Cameron and who saw them or did not see them. But looking at the earnest way Joey's eyes were trained on him, he didn't want to deny his friend the fun of gambling and drinking, surrounded by beautiful people. Memories of past trips to Vegas clouded his mind and Justin had to admit, next to Lance, Joey was the best one to go to Vegas with because he didn't judge you for what you did, and didn't expect you to sit and baby-sit him the whole night. Maybe Joey's idea was a good one, if he got tired sitting at the tables, he could visit any one of the numerous clubs that were right at their doorstep. "What are we waiting for?"

They passed all of the slots without even stopping. The slots were for old ladies and tourists. The real fun was on the big money games, the table games. Wandering slowly, Justin nursed a drink, not wanting to go too fast and burn out. They'd been there twenty minutes when Joey decided to sit down at a table. Justin nodded, sitting down as well. They each withdrew several bills from their wallets, trading them in for chips. With ten thousand dollars between them on the green felt of the blackjack table, Justin felt a jolt of electricity flow up his spine. He was so focused on his hand that he didn't notice Joey fiddling with his cell phone.

Joey sent Kevin a message, wanting the other man to know they were there.

K. We're here @ Blackjack table. C U Soon. J

Joey slid the phone back into his jeans, returning his attention once more on the table in front of him.

It was ten minutes later that Joey looked up to see Kevin and Nick making their way slowly through the casino. Nick was looking around coolly, his eyes sweeping the room as he searched for the next game, it was a sign that he didn't suspect a thing. Kevin, on the other hand, his gaze was darting from person to person, as if frantically trying to find something without calling attention to himself. When their eyes locked, Joey felt a surge of electricity and his breathing came to an abrupt halt. Kevin was beautiful. The reality of what they were doing there hit him in full force and he nearly missed Justin's cheer at winning his hand. He'd just pocketed ten thousand dollars, doubling his single bet. They were sitting at a table for high rollers, and Joey wasn't even watching his cards half the time. Thankfully, he could afford it. And if he couldn't, Justin was guaranteed money in the bank.

"Dude, you okay?" Justin asked as he noticed Joey's attention was wandering. His adrenaline was pumping from having won that hand and Joey looked as if he could care less. Upon closer look, Justin could see that Joey's skin was a little paler than usual and cautiously, he turned his head in the direction Joey was looking. He gasped as he saw what Joey was seeing. Kevin and Nick.

Nick Carter.

Was in Vegas. At the MGM.

Looking absolutely beautiful.

Justin's money was forgotten. Along with his current hand, which according to the vague cheers he could hear around him, he'd won again.

All four men stopped all movement and were staring at one another, only a few feet apart.

Nick saw the surprise in Justin's eyes, the glow of his cheeks and the curl of his lip and he felt his whole body react in a way that told him he was silly for ever believing he'd get over Justin Timberlake. And although Justin was a few feet away from him, playing Blackjack with Joey and protecting a large amount of chips, Nick had a funny feeling that Justin wasn't seeing or thinking about anything except him at that moment. He wasn't sure that either of them had breathed in the past few minutes. Nick tried not to make that thought mean more than he wanted it to. He was unsuccessful.

"Joey, Justin. So good to see you," Kevin sprang into action. Them all just standing there, staring at one another wasn't going to get them far. Not to mention it was strangely uncomfortable and people were starting to stare. His eyes caught Joey's briefly until the younger man looked away, cheeks slightly pink. A small piece of Kevin was pleased to know he still had that effect on the other man. He tried not to show his relief.

"Yeah, Kevin. You too." Justin stood and shook Kevin's hand. He hadn't failed to notice his best friend's reaction to Kevin. It wasn't a secret between the two of them how Joey felt about Kevin. How Joey had felt about Kevin since the days they both worked at Disney and he had admitted to them fooling around together. And it wasn't a secret how crushed Joey had been when Kevin had put a stop to their quasi-relationship to become serious with Kristin, although Kevin hadn't stopped sleeping with the other men he frequently 'dated'. There had been some bull shit about Kevin feeling that with the other men it was okay, because he didn't care about them, but with Joey he felt it was cheating because it wasn't just sex, it was more and Kristin didn't deserve to be cheated on.

Justin wanted to know if Joey deserved to be cheated on, but he'd never asked and Kevin surely wasn't one to willingly inform Justin of his decisions or his life in general for that matter.

He also wanted to know why, if Kevin had decided to stop all sexual relations with Joey, he would occasionally show up on his doorstep, usually in the middle of the night, asking to be let in with just the quiver of his lip, the pout of his mouth and a silent plea in those electric green eyes, only to leave before Joey woke up in the morning, providing a note of apologies and thanks for being the man he himself knew he wasn't.

Justin wasn't sure why he didn't hate Kevin more than he should. The older man had certainly given him enough cause to, but Justin, deep down, believed that despite what he said, Kevin loved Joey. Loved him more than he would ever admit to Joey, but more so himself. In a way, Justin felt as bad for Kevin as he did for his best friend.

"What are you guys doing here?" Joey asked Nick more so than Kevin. It was safer for him to focus on anything that wasn't Kevin right now. The blonde simply shrugged, barely able to concentrate on one thing in particular.

"We're here to help me deal with my break up with Paris. What are you guys doing here?" Nick smiled at Joey before resting his gaze on Justin, who was still watching him curiously.

"Male bonding," Justin supplied. He bit his tongue from admitting that he was there to get his mind off of his dilemma of telling Nick his feelings, not to mention just to get away from Cameron. It was interesting that where in the beginning of his relationship with her, he saw it as a positive move in the right direction, now he felt confined and cornered by it. Not to mention his increasing guilt every time he wished she was someone else, namely Nick. So he opted with the 'male bonding' excuse and left it at that.

"So, you ready for the next girl to take Paris' place?" Joey asked. He heard Justin's gasp of disbelief beside him and fought not to laugh out loud. Judging from the look on Kevin's face, he was as amused by his bluntness and was doing his best to refrain from laughing as well.

"Joe!" Justin nearly died of embarrassment. Nick barely seemed phased by it.

"What? We're all dudes here, and I'm curious. Besides, I could definitely use some action and if Carter's up for cruising..."

Nick gave a confident smile, all the while he was cringing on the inside. The last thing he needed was Justin to think he was going to be back out on the prowl, so quickly after breaking up with Paris. He also didn't want Justin to think he was looking for someone other than him, but at the same time, didn't want Justin to think he wasn't looking for someone because he couldn't get over him. It was all too confusing and depressing. Thankfully, Nick had become a master at hiding how he really felt. "Nah. Not up for that drama right now. What I'm looking for is a little more ..." He paused to find the right word. "permanent than a one night fuck. Or a few nights of fucking that lead nowhere. I'm tired of relationships that go nowhere. I want something real. Something real with someone real."

Justin nodded, it was as if Nick had looked right inside of his heart, his head and read ver betum how he felt on the subject. It was just more proof that he and Nick were meant to be. He snuck a look at Joey who was giving him some weird look, as if trying to tell him something. For the life of him, he didn't know what, so he simply gave a small shrug.

"Speaking of real," Kevin segwayed, hoping to God Nick wouldn't realize the set up. "How is Cam doing Justin?"

All four men broke into laughter as Justin rolled his eyes and shook his head. "She's great, she really is."

"But?" Nick asked, wanting Justin to continue. He was curious as to where the younger man was going to go with this and wanted to hear more of Justin's relationship with his pseudo-girlfriend. He'd been battling for quite some time with the decision of whether or not to confront Justin and confess all of his feelings for him, but the one thing that was stopping him was Cameron. Cameron and their relationship that seemed too good to be true, but exactly what Justin had said he'd wanted.

Being a believer in fate and cosmic connections, Nick felt that this whole interaction, the fact that he and Justin were both in the same hotel at the same time, running from things they didn't want to deal with meant something.

"She's not my forever. And I want forever." Justin stared directly into Nick's eyes, trying to telepathically convey to him everything his heart was feeling. That Nick was his forever and, although he was too scared to admit it, he wanted him in his life as more than a memory.

"We all want forever, Justin. It's a matter of what we're willing to risk for it."

It was as if they were the only ones in the room now, both Joey and Kevin could see this. They looked at one another, both raising an eyebrow as they gingerly extracted themselves from the situation. Joey gathered his chips into a bucket as he requested that Justin's be held for him at the VIP desk.

Moments later the transaction was finished and Joey returned to Justin's side. He hadn't even been missed. "J, I'm gonna go do some gambling on the third level and Kev wants to take in a show. We'll see you two later."

"My chips dude?" Justin broke free from the daze he was in. He'd gotten lost in Nick's eyes, in his mere presence and he had barely even realized he'd finished playing his last hand.

"All taken care of. When you're thinking clearer we'll go get them." Discreetly, he leaned in and whispered into Justin's ear. "Get your boy, Kid. This is your chance, don't fuck it up."

Justin blushed, praying to god Nick hadn't heard him. Thankfully, he'd been busy with Kevin whispering the same thing into his ear.

Once again, they were both alone. "So... I can't help but think about the last time I was here with you..." Nick started, looking around the casino nervously. Kevin had told him to grow some balls and make him proud. Nick took a deep breath, he was going to give it his best try.

"I don't think we were ever here... at least not in this part of the hotel. I mean, damn, did we even leave the room?"

Nick blushed a darker shade of red and shook his head. "Uhh, no. No we didn't."

It was then that Justin realized Nick didn't mean there, in that exact spot, but in Las Vegas. In that hotel. He hated knowing he had embarrassed Nick when he was trying to subtly lead them into the conversation that was weighing on both of their minds. "Ah... you didn't mean here exactly, did you?"

"No."

"Well, I haven't been able to get it out of my head either," Justin admitted. Since Nick was going to take the first step, he figured he would follow. He contemplated finishing the thought. After figuring it was time to own up to it, he did. "And not just since we arrived. I've thought about it almost every day... since."

To say Nick was shocked was an understatement. THE understatement of the year. He'd assumed that Justin had his fun and filed the experience away as just another weekend in the life of Justin Timberlake. Never once did Nick assume that it had meant more to Justin than a series of fucks, all taking place over the span of 96 hours. Nick didn't fail to forget the cuddling, the talking and the heart to hearts they had, but he'd also chalked that up to post orgasmic euphoria and hadn't let himself think TOO hard about that. It was easier to focus on the physical than dwell on the emotional, especially if it was just him feeling the emotional.

Now, for the first time since it had happened, Nick allowed himself to hope that it had meant something to Justin. Memories of Paris were long gone and as it had been for as long as Nick could remember, the only thing Nick could see was Justin.

"You maybe wanna..." Nick nodded his head towards the elevator. He didn't know exactly what he was offering, but knew that whatever Justin took him up on, he'd accept willingly. If it was just sex, he'd take it, but if it was more... Nick's body trembled at the mere thought.

Justin was nodding before he registered the action and they were quickly making their way through the crowded casino, garnering stares from people passing them by. Both men realized how odd it probably looked, both Nick Carter and Justin Timberlake heading through a packed casino, every so often stopping to look at one another, just to make sure if the other was really there and they were really about to do what they were about to do.

Of course, neither were sure of what that was just yet, but they'd both been patient for this long, another few minutes wouldn't kill them. The elevator lifted them almost motionlessly and with each flashing light indicating another floor had passed them by, they felt their pulses race faster. "So.." Nick started, nervously. The silence was pressing down on them, hovering mercilessly.

"It wasn't just sex." Justin's voice was soft, his eyes glued to his shoes. He knew from inside sources that Nick thought their weekend together was just sex to him. That he wasn't special and had just been in the right place at the right time. Justin was freshly broken up with Britney and had gone through a brief period of recklessness and sowing wild oats. What Justin had learned from his period of mourning was that he wasn't and hadn't ever been 'that guy'. Fucking around with anyone who was willing, using people to get off and forgetting about them the next day. He'd watched Joey, Chris and JC fuck their way across Europe, not to mention the States when they'd come home and hit it big, and as much as they'd assumed he was the same, he wasn't. With more than enough opportunity, both during his relationship with Britney and afterwards, Justin found the whole prospect of a different person every night ...dirty. Meaningless. Cheap.

He didn't judge the others for doing it, it was their personal choices, their bodies and their consciences. It just wasn't something he was interested in. But he more than understood why Nick would feel he felt that way about them. It wasn't as if he'd told him differently, in fact, Justin had gone out of his way to give Nick the impression that it had been fun while it lasted, but not to expect more. Justin wasn't ready for more at the time. Or so he'd thought. After a few months of dating Alyssa, Janet, and a few other girls here and there, he realized that he equated sex with love and a relationship, and the only one that he wanted was the one person he'd had sex with outside of a relationship. But by that time, Nick was going through a phase where he ignored Justin and he figured he'd lost his chance. Then Cameron came around, only to be followed by Paris in Nick's life. Life seemed to throw them as many curve balls as possible, it was time that Justin caught one of them. He was
 finally ready. He was the master of his own fate for once in his life.

"Oh?" Nick stepped out of the elevator, holding the door for Justin to follow. "Are you sure? Because I thought..."

"I don't do meaningless sex." This time Justin's voice was stronger, more definitive. Loud enough to catch Nick's attention and give him cause to believe it. And if it wasn't his voice, it was the gleam in his eye that told him the truth.

None of Justin's friends would ever talk to him about what happened between them. Nick took that as either Justin hadn't told them or they just didn't want to share the information with him, which pissed Nick off because his feelings hung in the balance. Although Nick had heard quite frequently that Justin didn't really sleep with fans or random girls, and by sleeping that included any form of sex, which in their lifestyle and it's opportunities, surprised Nick. He did do meaningless sex, had done it since he'd been fucked over by Mandy and realized that it was okay to fuck girls just to fuck them, if they wanted it and he wanted it, then what was the problem? That was something that Nick admired about Justin, his uncanny ability to know what he wanted and not settle for anything less.

Nick had long since learned how to settle.

He'd loved Mandy more than life itself. At eighteen, had planned on marrying her and having a houseful of kids with her all the while touring with the group in a perfect happily ever after. Then she'd started abusing him, in every sense of the word, and he realized that love wasn't perfect and he'd taken a little time away from being in love. Except that he'd always, deep down inside in places that he didn't talk about or even think too much about, loved Justin, at least a little, and the bigger NSYNC got, the more Justin was in Nick's face and he couldn't ignore how he felt about him.

Feelings that were unrequited. Until he'd been given the idea that they weren't unrequited, but still, nothing happened, at least not what Nick wanted. Their weekend was amazing, wonderful, everything he knew being with Justin would be, except that late on the Monday afternoon, Justin stood up, got dressed and told Nick he had a flight to catch, and with a fleeting kiss, said he'd see him around. For a man who'd only known meaningless sex without love attached, Nick's eyes had been opened, his heart a raw mass of nerves. Justin had forever changed Nick, although the blonde wouldn't admit it to have happened for the world. The last thing he needed was one more mistake to chalk up to his ever increasing list.

Nick wanted to say he didn't do meaningless sex either, but they both knew it wasn't true and Nick didn't want to start whatever this was with Justin with lies. So he didn't say anything. He just rolled over Justin's sentiments in his mind, trying to analyze the whole situation. In retrospect, Joey and Kevin seemed TOO casual for a chance meeting, and knowing Kevin's feelings about Joey, Nick wondered why the two of them had been okay to go off together. Although he wouldn't talk about it, ever, Nick knew Kevin was still in love with Joey, a love that would never die, contrary to how hard Kevin tried to convince himself it would. Although Nick adored Kristin, thought she might be the strongest and most amazing woman ever to not only put up with Kevin's shit for all these years, but also the shit with the fans and the other guys... and just pretty much everything that Lou, Jive and the whole music industry had thrown at her, he didn't think that it was fair for Kevin to have to punish himself for not being in love with her. At least not in THAT way. He loved her, Nick knew this, loved her more than he could possibly love another woman, but it wasn't a romantic forever love. His love for Joey was that love, except they couldn't be together.

They were a reminder of why Nick didn't put too much faith in love any more. In most instances it was more trouble than it was worth. Except now they were in Justin's hotel room and Justin was watching him through emotion filled eyes, nervously chewing his lip, fidgeting with his shirt, waiting for Nick to say something, because technically, it was Nick's turn. Justin had made his admission, and Nick had still yet to respond. He was so screwed.

Justin swallowed thickly, knowing that he was going to have to make his move. It had been Nick that had instigated things the last time, confessing to Justin more than he'd wanted to hear at the time which prompted the 'no talking about anything except what we're doing right this exact minute rule'. He'd nixed any conversations about relationships, forever, love or anything else even remotely close to it, which pretty much had kept Nick quiet, letting Justin set the pace for every conversation. He knew how Nick felt, although he hadn't let himself believe it, he'd always known. Nick had, in so many words, told him. It was Justin who had constantly tried to convince himself it wasn't true. He'd always had the power to get what he wanted, he was just afraid of that power, and Justin decided he didn't want to be afraid anymore.

It took three long strides to cross the distance between them, putting himself directly in front of Nick. The blonde took a sharp gasp of a breath, obviously affected by Justin's close proximity. "You were there for me when I was getting over Britney, I want to be here for you." Justin hadn't realized that it might have been the worst possible way to start things off. Instantly, Nick's defenses went up and he watched an invisible shield cover Nick's face.

Nick nodded, interpreting Justin's comment as an encore performance of the last time they were in Vegas together. As long as he knew what he was getting himself into this time, he would be fine. No expectations, no raised hopes and no broken hearts. Except that with Justin's comment about not doing meaningless sex, he'd already had expectations, his hopes were through the roof and Nick's heart was hanging in the balance, moments away from being shattered. Nick figured he really should have known better. "Okay. So what, we do this again..." Nick made a grand sweeping gesture towards the bedroom before turning back, "get whatever it is we're feeling out of our systems and Monday you go back to Cam and I go back to being that one guy you fuck when one of us has broken up with our significant other?" He watched the colour drain from Justin's face as his lips formed a small 'o'. Nick took a step back just to distance himself. He could smell Justin's cologne, feel his heat and felt his whole body trembling with want.

"I..."

"No, it's okay, Justin. I just ..." Nick sighed. "I just need to know. I can't go into this thinking it's something it's not only to then have to watch you walk out without looking back. Not again."

Justin flinched. He wished Nick could experience things through his eyes, feeling what he felt every day, seeing him, hearing him, knowing how much he loved him and realizing he'd lost any chance to be with him. "I told you, I don't do meaningless sex."

"Our sex had meaning. I helped you get over Britney, you want to help me get over Paris. There is meaning and purpose to it, so you don't have to worry, it's not meaningless."

"That's not what..." Justin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I don't know what to say, everything I say comes out wrong."

"Just say how you feel. It can't hurt me any more than I already am right now." Nick saw the hurt flash in Justin's eyes, mixed with regret and finished his thought. "No, I don't mean you. I mean everything else. Finding out that Paris cheated on me, when we both agreed that this relationship was going to be different. She knows how much I've been hurt in the past with girls who fuck around on me and promised she wouldn't be that girl, and then she was. So I went out and fucked other people to get back at her, and... it's fucked. Because even when I was fucking the other people, I was thinking about her and how much she'd hurt me and I didn't want to be there with them, I wanted to be with her and ... I couldn't. Never again. So fucking tell me what you want so I know what I'm walking into."

Justin's heart hurt for Nick and he put his relationship with Britney into perspective and thanked God for his good fortune. Yes, she'd fucked him over good, but it wasn't anything compared to what Nick had been through. Nick was a person with a lot of love in him, he craved attention and gave as much as he got, which put him at a higher risk than someone like Justin who was guarded with his heart and soul. After Britney, he hadn't let himself get into the position where he could be hurt again, but Nick on the other hand, had a line up of women and men who had used him and thrown him away, like he wasn't anything but a ticket to get him anywhere. Knowing Jane Carter, Justin was certain that Nick had been treated like that since inception and he'd yet to meet a woman who wasn't conniving, maniacal and using him for some reason or another. Suddenly, Justin wanted to take care of him. Wanted to nurse him back to emotional stability and show Nick that he was capable of loving and being loved in return, in a healthy, positive relationship.

Nick's skin was smooth under Justin's hand as he cupped his cheek gently. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Nick asked, voice barely a whisper. Justin had closed in the distance he'd put between them and Nick's pulse was racing wildly.

"For every person who made you feel less than you are. For you never having someone show you exactly what you're worth. For not telling you sooner and making you feel that it meant nothing to me. I'm sorry for so many things Nick."

"I don't want your pity, if that's what this is." Nick licked his lips nervously. Justin's hand had moved from his cheek to the back of his neck, where his fingers were playing with Nick's hair at the base of his neck. He felt as though he should put some distance between them, but couldn't move his feet. Their eyes were locked and Nick could vaguely feel Justin's breath ghosting on his jaw. "You don't have to tell me this shit to get me to sleep with you, I think we've already concluded that I'm pretty easy where you're concerned. It's not like I've ever made it a secret."

Both men gave a small smile and Nick blushed as he averted his eyes.

"I'm not giving you my pity Nick. And I'm not saying this to get into your pants. I'm saying this to get into your heart. To let you know you've gotten into mine." Justin reached down with his free hand and grasped Nick's hand in his, twining their fingers together as he brought it up between them. "There are so many things I wanted to say to you that weekend, after that weekend but I wasn't ready. God, I was so fucked over from Britney and there you were, touching me, treasuring me, telling me how beautiful you thought I was and how special I was and I couldn't hear it. Not after everything that had gone down with her because if I was lovable, why did she do that to me?"

Nick understood what Justin had gone through because it had been the same thing Mandy had put him through, but with Justin coming out having less bruises and emotional abuse.

"And I couldn't deal with you being so nice to me so I pushed you away. I needed distance and..." Justin hiccuped, "... you gave me that. And by the time I realized I didn't want it, I thought I had but really, I didn't... but by that time, you were already gone and I'd fucked things up completely."

"Yeah, you really did." Nick admitted, nodding his head. "I would have done anything for you. If you had have just said to give you time, I would have agreed instantly. Just the thought that you might want to be with me would have been something. You know? But then you went back to ignoring I existed and ... I knew that it wouldn't have worked, but it raised my hopes a little. That after all those years of crushing on you, you might have wanted something beyond a weekend of unbelievable sex."

Justin leaned in towards Nick, so that their noses brushed against one another. Their eyes were still locked and Justin could feel his mouth watering at the thought of being able to kiss Nick. At being in his arms in that exact moment. "Have you ever had sex like that Nick? Before or since? Has it ever been THAT good again?"

Justin watched Nick think about his question, smiling as the blonde finally answered with the shake of his head. "No. I mean, I've had good sex. I've done stuff and had stuff done to me that was incredible and mind bending, but what we had is on a whole other plane. I can't even put words to what it was." And he couldn't. Nothing could ever even being to compare to what he'd shared with Justin, and Nick had certainly tried.

"Do you know why?"

Nick had a few ideas, but he wanted to hear what Justin was going to say first before offering them. So with that in mind, he shook his head.

"Because it was fate. It was meant to be, WE were meant to be. If nothing, I've learned that Britney wasn't who I was meant to be with for my life. I thought she was, but now looking at her, I see someone who needs help. A lot of help and it's not help I could give her. She was the means to put me where I needed to be put, with who I'm meant to be with, but I couldn't see it at the time. What happened here was destined, but I was so blinded by what happened with her, I refused to think about it. I didn't want to know. So I ignored it, and walked away. But I'm not going to make that mistake again. Every single person I've been with since that weekend, I've compared to you. And it made me think, why settle for what I don't want, when if I could just get what I really want, I'd be complete."

Nick was stunned. Speechless. In the back of his mind, he waited for Joey and Kevin to jump out from behind the curtains, maybe have Ashton fucking Kutcher there too with cameras, filming it all for another season of Punk'd. His eyes darted around nervously causing for Justin's to follow.

"What are you looking for?"

Nick blushed and he closed his eyes. "Cameras. Television crew." He had to be honest and as he opened his eyes, he watched a flicker of pain flash in Justin's eyes. Justin tried to pull away, and in that moment, Nick realized it was real. He held Justin tight, unwilling to let him go.

"This is real," Justin spoke, his voice soft. "I understand why you might not believe it right away, but I've never lied to you and I'm not going to start now."

"It's not that I don't believe YOU, it's more that I can't believe this. That it's happening." Nick waited for Justin to respond, yet wasn't ready for the manner in which he did. He watched as Justin slowly leaned in, closed his eyes and pressed their mouths together in a tentative kiss. It was familiar yet, at the same time, new. Nick allowed himself to relax in Justin's embrace, opening his lips just enough to deepen the kiss.

The room was spinning and Justin could feel Nick trembling in his arms. He fought not to start tearing Nick's clothes off and throw him on the bed. This was going to have to go slow if they wanted to get past the insecurities he knew they both still harboured. His tongue darted hesitantly at Nick's mouth, wanting to breach through knowing that Nick had parted his lips for that reason, but not wanting to rush. He needn't have worry, Nick whimpered at the first feel of Justin's tongue against his mouth and met it with his own. It was at the electric current that overwhelmed both men that they knew slow wouldn't be an option, not that night.

It was Nick that pulled away first. He raised his arm, turning the back of his wrist side up. "Is this going to be a problem? That I have her name tattooed on my body?"

Without blinking, Justin stepped away and pulled his tee shirt over his head. He turned around, displaying the guardian angel tattoo on his back. "Is this going to be a problem? That I have this on my back? For my mother?" Justin knew what people thought about this tattoo, how they thought it was disturbing and it represented more than it actually did. He watched as Nick's eyes moved from the tattoo, down his back and lingering on each muscle, memorizing every inch of skin. Nick licked his lips, shifted the bulge in his jeans that was growing steadily and raised his eyes to stare into Justin's. He shook his head. "No."

"Then no."

"Good." Justin's lips curled into a smile as he tugged at Nick's tee shirt. He wanted the blonde at an equal nakedness. "Although, you have to promise me something."

"Anything!" Nick admitted. He would promise Justin just about anything at this point, as long as he didn't stop touching him or looking at him the way he was.

"Don't tattoo anything for me anywhere on your body."

Nick thought it an odd request, but the sincerity and worry in Justin's eyes was more than enough to cause for him to nod. "Okay. Can I ask why?"

Justin blushed as he buried his face in Nick's bare throat. The heat that was generated between them scorched Justin's body and caused for him to press closer to Nick. "Because it's the kiss of doom. You're with someone, you're so fucking happy and then bam, you get matching tats, or tattoo something of them on their body and it's over faster than it takes the tattoo to heal."

Nick rubbed the spot on his wrist that was still slightly raised and irritated. Justin's words rang frighteningly true. It had been only three weeks since that day, and in that three weeks he'd gone from happy and confident that he'd finally found what he was looking for, to learning she'd been unfaithful and wasn't as in love with him as she'd previously thought.

"Don't worry, Baby." Nick whispered against the side of Justin's face. "I think we'll be okay."

Justin wanted to ask Nick how he knew. How he knew they would be okay, but kept quiet, because as he looked into Nick's eyes and read his thoughts, he knew how Nick knew. Because they'd finally gotten things right. Yes, they'd fight. They always did. But it would be done with love, not with insecurity. They would fight because they loved each other and their love would prevail over any argument because deep down, they were soul mates and meant to be together. "Me too."

Nick's hands traced Justin's chest and stomach, feeling goose bumps in his wake. He smiled as he leaned down to nip and bite at the skin on Justin's chest, kissing and licking every once in a while. He watched as Justin's head fell back and his eyes fluttered shut, his own lips curled into a smile at the sight. With gentle precision, Nick made his way down Justin's torso to the waist band of his jeans. He unbuckled Justin's belt, not surprised when Justin's eyes opened and he had a pair of icy blue eyes watching him. There was obvious lust displayed in their depths, but there was also something else, something more intense. Nick shivered at the electricity between them, he flashed Justin a sexy smirk and continued undoing his jeans. It was mere seconds before Justin lifted his left leg first, followed by his right, leaving him completely naked. Nick was breathless at the sight.

Justin knew what Nick's intentions were by getting him naked. With the blonde on his knees, Justin's legs spread adequately and his erection in tongues' reach of Nick's mouth, it wasn't difficult to figure out what was next on the agenda. Except Justin wasn't going to follow the usual plan. He wanted Nick naked, naked and pressed against his body, inside his body, entwined with his own body so that it was difficult to tell where one ended and the other began. "Nick... not yet," he whispered as Nick's hand enclosed around his erection and his lips began to part.

"What?" Nick asked, confused by the way Justin put a stop to his foreplay. His eyes fluttered from where they'd previously been focused, Justin's throbbing erection, to his eyes, which were a dark grey, the blue intensified by his arousal. "You don't want..." His tongue darted out, lapping at the bead of pre cum that had escaped the slit.

Justin trembled at the feel of Nick's tongue swiping at his cock. The muscles in his stomach contracted while he fought not to just slide right into Nick's mouth, allowing him to continue on with the impending blow job. "I want.... later... now I just want you."

"You've got me now, Baby." Nick assured Justin. He slid his hand up and down Justin's cock a few times before moving them back towards his balls, which were heavy and hot to the touch. Nick felt Justin's hands slide into his hair, stroking his scalp sensuously.

"Want you naked.. on the bed.. with me..." Nick's hands were causing for him to lose all concentration, making Justin ache with need and desire.

"When I'm done.." Nick argued, moving back in to take Justin into his mouth. He slid the head between his lips, using his tongue to stimulate the slit before allowing more to enter his mouth. Nick started off slow, moving the first few inches in and out of his mouth, using his tongue to explore each crevice thoroughly. While his mouth worked it's magic, his right hand stroked the part of the organ that was left unattended, providing Justin with a dually explosive sensation.

"God, I fucking love your mouth," Justin admitted, conceding defeat. There was no way that he would be able to pull off now, all he could do was submit and allow for Nick to pleasure him.

After endless teasing, Nick took all of Justin into his mouth and allowed for his erection to slide effortlessly down his throat. He hummed softly while his hand continued to roll Justin's balls, quickly bringing the younger man to his climactic pinnacle. Nick heard a loud groan, a whimper and Justin growl Nick's name before his knees buckled and he thrust one last time and shot directly into Nick's throat. Nick barely flinched. It was when Nick finally pulled off, cleaned Justin's cock with long, luxurious licks and wiped the corners of his mouth that Justin could breathe again, his whole body feeling boneless.

"God I fucking love your mouth," Justin repeated, this time breathless and exhausted.

"And my mouth loves you too!" Nick smirked as he stood up and stretched. In lightning speed, Nick's fingers undid his own jeans and he stepped out as he walked, leaving himself as naked as Justin. With a confidence that Justin didn't remember the last time they'd been together, Nick strutted across the hotel room, walked into the bedroom without looking back and made himself comfortable on the bed. He knew Justin would follow.

Nick smiled when Justin did follow and leaned against the doorway casually. They stared at one another, neither feeling the need to fill the silence with words. They both knew what the other was thinking as it was written on their faces. Once he'd gotten a clear enough look of Nick, Justin crossed the room joining the blonde on the bed. He took his time crawling up Nick's body, licking and sucking at all of his pleasure points. By the time Justin had reached Nick's mouth, he was writhing shamelessly, begging for Justin to 'just do it already'. Justin would do it when he was ready.

With one look at Nick's lips which were swollen from chewing on them, with one look at the way Nick's features were flushed, his skin scarlet and alive and with one look at the way Nick's body was trembling for more attention, for HIS attention, Justin knew he was ready. He leaned down, capturing Nick's mouth in a kiss that made his whole body go weak. He collapsed onto Nick's chest, feeling his body ignite at the tight press of their skin together. Within moments, Nick had shifted their position, so that Justin was half pinned under him and their bodies were entwined.

There was no rush what so ever, the moment was all about relearning everything there was about the other. In between kisses, Nick would ask Justin something, or Justin would casually mention something he'd always wanted Nick to know. They would talk until one would touch the other, bringing them back to the kissing and the relearning each other's bodies.

It was Nick that took the next step forward. "I really want to make love to you. We never did that..."

Justin raised an eyebrow as he traced Nick's face. "We didn't? I recall things differently." Although they hadn't exactly put a name or label on what they'd been doing, there had been one time, in the middle of the night when Justin had woken Nick up after going to the bathroom that they'd started kissing again, ending up having the slowest, most beautiful and erotic sexual experiences of either of their lives.

Nick nodded. "I want to make love to you when we both admit that's what we're doing. Where we can both say that this is what we want, inside or outside of this room and not have to worry about how it's going to seem in the morning. That's what I want."

Justin understood exactly, and so he kissed Nick's lips tenderly. "Then that's what you will have." Justin claimed Nick's mouth in one last kiss before pulling away and climbing off of the bed. He walked towards his suit case, pleased when he opened up the side compartment and saw exactly what he was looking for. He pulled out a bottle of lubrication as well as a few condoms, waving them in the air for Nick to see. Justin approached the bed once more, climbing on and pulling Nick to his knees. "I want you inside me." Justin's erection had returned, yet despite how much he wanted to be inside of Nick, be the one to make him feel so good, he wanted to have Nick hovered over him protectively, joining their bodies as one.

"This time," was all Nick said, the promise clear in his voice.

"This time," Justin couldn't help but agree. As always, their minds were in tune with one another.

Once his erection was properly sheathed, lubricated and Justin was sufficiently stretched, a pillow was placed under Justin's hips and Nick adjusted their bodies so that they were lined up with one another. The hand that held his erection in place was trembling slightly and his mind flashed back to every single sexual experience he'd had up until that moment. Never once, not even his first time back so long ago it felt like it had happened to someone else, had he ever been this nervous. Never once had so much hung in the balance and never once had he ever wanted anything so much. It took a slight thrust of his hips and the head of his cock was breaching the barrier. Justin's body tried to resist against Nick but he continued on. Justin tried to relax by pushing out, hoping to make Nick's decent into his body as painless as possible. Justin couldn't help the soft yelp that escaped, causing for Nick's eyes to open and their gazes to meet.

"You okay?"

"Never better."

When he was completely sheathed in Justin's body Nick felt it necessary to say what was on his mind, hoping to god it didn't interfere with what they were doing. The last thing he wanted to do was push Justin too fast and scare him off, but at the same time, he needed to tell the younger man what he was feeling. "I love you."

Justin grinned, his whole body relaxed and he felt light headed. "I love you too. It feels so good to be able to say it.. out loud and have you hear it."

Nick chuckled, "What?" He watched Justin blush and continued chuckling. The sight of Justin embarrassed was adorable, Nick leaned up and kissed the tip of his nose playfully.

Justin's cheeks burned as he bashfully buried his face into the hollow of Nick's throat. "You'd gotten up to go to the bathroom and I was curled up in bed. I was half asleep and it was at that moment that I realized exactly what we were doing and how much it meant to me, and I had whispered it into the empty room that I loved you. I knew you weren't in the room but I'd closed my eyes and pretended you were there, spooning behind me. It was the closest I could come to telling you how I felt."

Nick felt his heart swell at Justin's confession, wishing that he had have known how the younger man felt at the time, but also pleased that he had indeed felt the same way. "Well, you've told me now and that's all that matters." Nick took Justin's hands in his own and stretched them above his head. He shifted just slightly, grazing against Justin's prostate in the process. Both men reacted to the pleasurable sensation.

Justin arched his back and shimmied his hips, trying to coax Nick into moving. Their contact wasn't enough, he needed more. He extended his neck, darting his tongue out at Nick's lips playfully. "Please... I want you to move."

"I'm just looking at you," Nick admitted, snapping out of the trance he had fallen into. Their lips met in a steamy, erotic kiss and Nick felt Justin wrestle free one hand which he swiftly brought to his ass, clutching it tightly. Justin squeezed and stroked the fleshy globe while grinding his hips and Nick couldn't hold off any more, he was ready to start moving. "Want you so bad," Nick admitted as he brought his hands to Justin's hips and steadied them. He kissed Justin one last time before straightening his back and beginning to withdraw from his body.

Justin's words were stuck in his throat as he opened his mouth and no sound came out. Justin arched his back and wrapped his legs tighter around Nick's legs, digging his heels into Nick's calves. Wanting more leverage, Justin shifted so that his legs were high around Nick's waist, opening himself up more for his lover. Neither man had imagined it to be as good as it was. It far surpassed any expectations and Nick felt himself slip into a whole other plane and he struggled to bring Justin with him.

~*~*~*~*

"I was slightly worried that they would suspect something and be upset at our scheming," Joey admitted with relief. He knew that within the first few minutes of Justin spotting Nick, he would know whether or not they'd made the right choice in brining the two men together again. Especially here and now. But it was obvious from the way Justin's eyes lit up and his cheeks darkened with blush, and the way Nick stopped in his tracks and hope flashed in his eyes that they had indeed done the right thing.

"I knew that they just needed the right push. I mean, Nick wasn't ever going to admit how much he wanted Justin, not after all this time had passed, and Justin is exactly like Nick. They both know what they want, but are too insecure in their past together to go after it. If it had been anyone else, Nick would have no problem in getting what he wanted, but Justin... his feelings for Justin are genuine and he's hid them for so long that it's second nature now." Kevin felt strangely unsure of himself and having Joey only inches away was harder than he'd anticipated. He hated how Joey's back was straighter than normal, his movements jerky and rigid. It was because of him and Kevin hated how uncomfortable things were between them. He had no one to blame but himself for that and it only deepened his sadness where Joey was concerned.

Kevin had never intended on falling so hard and deep for Joey Fatone. Even in the early days when they were both working at Disney and it was supposed to be just for fun. It was something they'd discussed the first night they kissed, neither were looking for something serious. Both Joey and Kevin were there in Orlando to make it big and the last thing either needed was something to distract them from their original goal, fame and fortune. Both men were happy to find that the other understood their predicament. And so their quasi relationship began. Except over the course of the year, they'd fallen in love. Kevin had signed with Lou and joined Backstreet while Joey was still struggling. It wasn't until Joey had signed with Lou as well, finding his own group that he admitted to Kevin that his feelings were more serious than just having fun. Kevin wouldn't admit to the same, not in the beginning anyways.

It all started to blow up in his face when he'd been too careless and was caught by the wrong person with another man. An ultimatum was issued, either stop being sexually active with men all together, or get married. Kevin chose marriage. Kristin knew all about Kevin's sexual activities and accepted the proposal. She never forced Kevin to choose, her or the men. As long as he gave her equal attention she was fine with it. Not once did Kevin expect to fall in love with her and with that love came a feeling of loyalty. He didn't want to stop sleeping with men, but at the same time it felt like cheating when the sex was more than sex. Joey had to go.

Kevin was too much in love with Joey to keep it casual and so he decided to break it off with him. Except that he couldn't. As much as he wanted to keep away from the Italian, he kept finding his way back to him, only hurting Joey more in the process every time he left and confessed it would be the last time. So knowing how much he'd hurt Joey in the past few years, Kevin understood why Joey hated him as much as he did, and he surely understood why he was as uncomfortable as he was at that moment.

Joey felt a mixture of anticipation, anger and sadness while sitting next to Kevin. There was so much he wanted to say, yet at the same time he just wanted to get up and run. Run to his room except that for some stupid reason he and Justin had gotten one room together and he was pretty damn sure that Justin took Nick back to their room. It would take almost nothing for Joey to get another room, his eyes darted to the door wondering if Kevin would really care if he stood up and walked away. Joey afforded himself a glance in Kevin's direction, surprised to see the older man watching him closely, a look of regret clearly displayed on his face. Joey's question was out before he could stop it.

"Did you ever, you know, love me?" His voice lowered so no one except Kevin could hear. "I mean, I understand that you want to be a family man and all, loyalty and shit, but I just... you always said you did but I can't help but wonder if it was just to get me..."

"If you say I told you that to get you into bed, so help me God..." Kevin threatened, his eyes narrow and voice low. He looked into Joey's eyes for the first time, really looked, and saw the anger there. The younger man had every right to be upset but there was nothing that Kevin could do to make him understand, especially when he himself didn't understand entirely.

"What am I supposed to think? You break things off by saying you're not going to fuck around anymore, but then I find out you're still doing it. Just not with me. You come over, drunk as all hell going on about stupid shit, shit I can't even understand, tell me you love me and fuck me only to leave in the morning and apologize by saying it was all a mistake. You fight with her, show up while we're on tour, tell me you just need to get away and I'm the only one who understands, spout about how you wish things were as easy with Kris as they are for me and Kelly, tell me you love me, fuck me, then leave in the morning, again with the shit about it being a mistake. I get it, I'm a mistake. But I'm a fucking mistake you keep making and if you need sex, I'm fucking fine with it, but don't lie and bring love into it because that's what I have the problem with." Joey's anger was blinding and he stood up and started walking towards the elevators. Kevin watched in surprise, not moving. Joey turned around to see Kevin still sitting on the stool. "Get the fuck over here Richardson. I'm not done and what I have to say to you should be done in private, unless you want all of Vegas knowing our dirty laundry."

Kevin was off the stool and across the room in less than two seconds.

"You got a room?"

Kevin only nodded, he had never seen Joey like this before and didn't want to further upset him. He had a feeling that ten years of pent up frustration was about to come out and the worst part, was that he deserved everything he got.

"Let's fucking go."

The ride up the elevator was uncomfortably silent. They weren't the only ones in the elevator and Joey wouldn't even acknowledge Kevin's presence. When they reached the tenth floor, Kevin excused himself. "Come on, this is us."

Joey simply followed, not giving any other indication that he'd heard Kevin. IT wasn't until they were safe in the room that he continued, not even missing a beat. "So I can understand if you don't love me, I never asked for that. But what I don't like is being lied to and I don't fucking like being used. Especially not when you can't even admit you're doing it. Just be honest with me for once in your god damned life."

That made Kevin angry, because he'd never lied about anything. His own anger surfaced and he slammed his fist onto the table. "God damn. You are so fucking out of line," Kevin boomed. "I have never once lied to you. Every single time I've told you I love you, I've meant it. You were the first fucking person I told about marrying Kristin. I hadn't even told my parents, the other guys, I hadn't even told Lou or management. The minute she accepted I went to see you and told you. So don't play the wounded animal card with me. You are the one person I HAVE been honest with so shut the hell up. And second of all, I didn't break things off with you because I don't love you, I distinctly told you when I came to your house that day why I couldn't see you any more. Fucking around on Kris with other men is one thing. Fucking around with Kris and it being with the person I'm in love with is another. If it means something more than just a fuck it adds a whole other dimension to the relationship and I can't cheat on her that way. I never wanted to disrespect her by being with someone I love, so I had to push you away."

Joey laughed bitterly. He went to the mini bar, took out two beer and opened one, handing the other to Kevin. He downed half of it in one gulp as he waited for Kevin to continue.

"But I couldn't. I'm weak, I fucking know how weak I am and every time I knew I shouldn't see you, I had to. I couldn't not have you in my life, so I'd go to see you, all with the intention of not sleeping with you but just talking to you. I'd missed that, the days when we'd sit around and talk, just share everything and things were simple. But then I'd realize I couldn't be near you without wanting to touch you, be with you, love you and it would end up with us in bed. And I'd realize that I shouldn't have gone over. It only made things harder."

"You can't be with me BECAUSE you love me?"

"Exactly. If it was just fucking I wouldn't have a problem, but..." Looking at Joey, the man standing before him that Kevin had loved for so long, Kevin wasn't sure of anything any more. He couldn't understand why he wasn't with him, but at the same time a picture of Kristin flashed in his mind and he couldn't imagine his life without her in it too.

"So, you're hurting me to save hurting her," Joey's voice was soft and filled with pain. His place in Kevin's life was painfully obvious with that statement and it hurt a lot more than it should, especially after so many years of Kevin hurting him and of him letting Kevin be in the position to hurt him. It shouldn't matter but it was undeniable, Joey would always love Kevin, no matter what.

Kevin let out a soft gasp that followed into a sob. It was something he had always been aware of, but never once was it vocalized. Kevin figured if he didn't think about it like that, it wasn't true, but just seeing the product of what he'd created by hurting Joey so frequently over the years staring him in the face, he couldn't ignore it. Kevin's heart broke instantly. All he knew was that he couldn't go on like this anymore. If nothing, this weekend had shown just how deep his feelings for Joey went and how he couldn't not have him in his life.

"God, I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry," Kevin's voice was barely audible, his eyes glued to his hands which were folded in front of him. He looked up, eyes suspiciously wet and met Joey's gaze. "I never meant... It wasn't supposed... I couldn't give you up, but never let myself think about how it hurt you. How can you still..." Kevin realized he didn't even know if Joey still loved him. "Do you even still love me?" He held his breath and waited for Joey to respond.

Joey saw the broken man in front of him and felt his stomach drop and his own eyes water. There was never a doubt about how he felt for Kevin. Despite the hurt and pain he'd caused him over the years, when it all came down to it, he loved Kevin more now than he did that first day. They'd come too far for him not too. Joey sighed and approached Kevin, kneeling down in front of the chair the older man had sat down in. "As much as I shouldn't, I do. I always will."

It came as a complete surprise to Kevin, so much that his head snapped up and his eyes were wide with shock. He couldn't understand how, after everything he'd put Joey through, he still loved him. "Why?"

Joey thought for a moment, trying to calm the million voices screaming in his head. Finally, he took a deep breath and smiled. "Because of your inherent need to take care of those around you. You have this feeling of responsibility, that unfortunately, nothing can deter you from. When Lou gave you the ultimatum after finding out you liked dick, and not his, you thought about what it meant for Backstreet and did what you felt you had to. I know for certain that had you left when he wanted you to, the group would have gone nowhere and four other lives would have hung in the balance. I'm not saying you don't love Kristin, or you don't cherish your marriage, I respect your arrangement with her and respect her for being the strong, beautiful woman she is, but at the same time, I don't think that was what you wanted. Not then anyways."

Kevin wanted to defend his marriage, but knew Joey was right. He wasn't disrespecting Kristin or what they had together, just stating the truth. His cheeks darkened in embarrassment with the love and respect Joey was speaking with, the look in the younger man's eyes as he memorized every feature of his face.

"And even after that, you've constantly sacrificed your own happiness for those around you. I see how much you care for AJ, Nick, Howie and Brian, how with each mistake that you made, with each person who tried to take you down a notch, you did what you had to make things work. You were the driving force behind Backstreet and you sacrificed who you are along the way. As much as it hurts, because it directly affected me, I can't hate you for it. In fact, it only makes me love you more because you do what you have to do, not what you want to do. Most people would have been selfish, but you.. you're selfless. And with each visit you made to me, no matter where I was, you made me feel special. Like you wanted to be there with me and there wasn't anywhere else that you would have gone."

"I did want to be there with you. I wanted to be there more... all the time... letting you know how much you meant to me. How much I love you but... with each time I hurt you, it only made me realize how I'm not good enough for you. You deserve someone who can be with you one hundred percent of the time..."

Joey held up his hand, silently asking for Kevin to stop speaking. When he had the older man's attention, he cupped his face in his hands and pressed a gentle kiss to his jaw. "When did I ever say I wanted you 100% of the time?"

Kevin's face scrunched up, thinking about Joey's question. He didn't understand. "Huh?"

"I'm serious. Go back to Disney Kev. At any point in our relationship, did I ever ask you for anything? Any more than you could give?"

Kevin shook his head, Joey hadn't. "No."

"And that's never changed. I understand why you got serious with Kris, I understand why you married her. Hell, if you haven't noticed, I have a fucking daughter. A daughter and my daughter's mother who I'm still technically with. But we've got an understanding and it works for us. Any person who I'm with, male or female, has to realize that I'm a package deal. They want me, they get Brianna and Kelly too, if they don't like that, too bad."

Kevin wondered what this had to do with him, or more so, their relationship. Thankfully, Joey wasn't finished explaining.

"And I would have done that with you. I would have understood that my being with you included Kris in the package deal. But you didn't even give me the chance to make that choice. You never once let me in enough to trust me that I would understand. I knew what Lou was capable of, hell, you don't think we experienced the same shit? We had to make sure that whenever Lou was in the same room as Justin or Lance, there was always someone else with them to look after them. Hell, Chris was almost sent back from Germany ten times because Lou would make nightly room checks and find that Chris was in there fucking some guy he'd picked up at a bar. And don't even get me started on what happened when Lou found Lance and Justin experimenting."

Kevin nodded, he understood completely. It was the same with Backstreet. There were ground rules while on the road with Lou. Rule 1 was that Nick was never to be left alone with Lou in any circumstance, AJ had been spared any attention due to his foul mouth and rebellious attitude, not to mention Lou hadn't deemed him as pretty as Nick was. But it was the same all around, rules that were strict, bordering unreasonable, and they'd spent many a nights wondering if the payoff would be worth the road to get there.

Ultimately it had, but Lou's destruction was still going strong, even so many years after the fact. This conversation was proof.

"I thought I was doing us both a favour," Kevin admitted softly, the feel of Joey's mouth on his fresh in his mind. He wanted Joey to grant him the pleasure again, but was too uncertain of himself to ask.

"And as fucked up as this sounds, that's a little of the reason why I'll never stop loving you. It doesn't matter that you hurt me so much, it's the fact that you sacrificed yourself as well... I just don't know how to explain it." Joey rubbed his face, he suddenly felt emotionally drained. He looked up into Kevin's eyes, lost in the familiarity he found there. In that moment, nothing mattered, nothing outside the two of them being alone in that hotel room, finally bearing their heart and souls to one another. Joey blinked as a thought ran through his mind. "Are there... do you still... besides Kristin, is there anyone else?"

Kevin averted his eyes. He was 33 and he certainly didn't have to justify his actions to anyone, especially his sexual ones. But at the same time, he couldn't bring himself to be offended or defensive about Joey's probing. "I can't lie and say that there aren't."

"So there are." It wasn't a question this time, just an observation. Joey raised an eyebrow and his lips curled into a smirk. Kevin raised his gaze and saw the expression on Joey's face, relieved that there wasn't any anger. In fact, there was amusement. "It's not a trick question Kevin, I was just curious as to how many other people I'm competing for your affections with."

"None." Kevin answered truthfully. There was no competition, Joey had won that years earlier, uncontested. Kristin was the only person to even attempt to give Joey a run for his money, and that was a moot point. It just wasn't possible. "I fuck other people, but they're not you. They'll never be you."

Joey's heart raced and he fought not to jump up and throw his arms around Kevin. Instead he rest his hands on Kevin's thighs and leaned up, nuzzling the older man's jaw. "Are you just saying that? Because you think it's what I want to hear?"

Kevin cupped Joey's face in his hands, bringing them so they were nose to nose. His face was serious, set in stone. "I never have told you anything because I think it's what you want to hear. If I'm saying it, it's because it's true." Kevin then said something that even he had trouble believing came from his mouth. "And if you told me right now that you wanted me to stop fucking around with other people, that that is what it would take for you to trust me and trust that I want you and love you, I would do that. Except for Kristin of course, that's not even an issue. But ..." Kevin paused to take a breath. "But yeah, I would have no problem doing that... just knowing that we'd finally be where we should be..."

Joey pressed a finger against Kevin's lips only to remove it and replace it with his mouth. Nothing Kevin could have said would have surprised him more, but in the same moment, it only solidified Kevin's feelings for him. Feelings that Joey hoped Kevin had, buried deep inside his heart but hadn't let rise to the surface. He felt overwhelmed and ecstatic, not sure of what to do or say first. Instead, he kissed Kevin with all the pent up emotion he'd been saving for years.

"You don't have to do that," Joey admitted, although he couldn't deny how much it hurt knowing that Kevin was sleeping with multitudes of men, men that weren't him. He would never ask that of anyone, knowing how much it would irritate him, being given ultimatum and demands. Kevin stood up, bringing Joey with him so that they were standing chest to chest. The feel of Kevin's breath on his lips gave Joey goose bumps and he trembled as Kevin's arms wrapped around his waist.

"I want to do it." Kevin felt as if he had been thrown in the middle of an ocean without a life jacket, forced to sink or swim. His pulse was racing, his heart beating and his mouth was dry, but at the same time, he felt more alive than he had for longer than he could remember. It was that feeling which verified that he was doing the right thing. "I can't not do it. I won't be with you while I'm with other people Joey, I can't. I thought that they would be able to fill the void that was created when I ended things with us, but they only made the void seem bigger and darker. Why have what I don't want, when I can have what I do want?"

"But Kris?" Joey had always felt that Kevin's wife resented him and he always had an overwhelming sense of guilt whenever they were at any type of social gathering together.

"Will be happy I've finally stopped being an ass and told you how I feel."

Joey couldn't have been more surprised. "I thought she hated me."

"Sometimes I think she hates me," Kevin admitted, laughing against Joey's cheek. He caught the Italian's mouth in a sweet kiss, cherishing the intimacy of the action. He had worked hard to get where he was, endured many hard times and finally had happiness in his grasp. There was nothing he was going risk to losing this to. "But in the end, she just wants me happy, and you make me happy. You are what I want."

Joey covered Kevin's mouth in a steamy kiss, allowing his tongue to push past his thin lips to seek out the mouth he'd been denied access too for too long. All of the other times they'd been together, good and bad, were erased and this was all that he could remember. The time to start fresh was long overdue and Joey wasn't going to question what act of fate brought this upon them. Silently, he thanked Justin for never giving up on his infatuation with Nick, yet he also had to thank Nick for breaking up with Paris and still, after almost their whole lives, being in love with Justin. The two golden boys were his guardian angels and he owed his present happiness to them. Them and the man who was sucking hungrily on his tongue, whimpering nonsensical words against his mouth.

Joey had died and gone to his own personal heaven. And the fact that Kevin was grinding his erection into Joey's, tugging on his hair almost painfully and, as it seemed, trying to crawl into Joey's body through his mouth only solidified Joey's claim of finding heaven.

It was Joey's stomach growling that interrupted their kissing, causing for both men to laugh. "Didn't you just come from dinner?" Kevin asked, resting his forehead on Joey's as he looked down between them. Their fingers were entwined together and he smiled at the knowledge that they were together, and it was all going to be okay.

"Yeah, like I could really eat!" Joey hadn't been able to finish his salad, let alone the dinner he'd ordered earlier. All he had been able to think about was Kevin and the fact that he'd be seeing him in mere hours. His stomach had been in knots and as much as he'd liked to have thought it was nerves for Justin, it was more for himself. "All I could think about was you and how awkward it was going to be."

Kevin laughed, kissing Joey's nose playfully. "Can I make a confession?"

Joey nodded.

"I didn't eat much either." As if on cue, Kevin's stomach growled. Both men burst into laughter, Joey rested his head on Kevin's shoulder. He didn't want to leave the confines of the hotel room, but he knew that they were going to have to eventually. It was as if when they left the room, the spell would be broken and everything would go back to the way it was before.

Kevin hugged Joey tighter, he would never forget the way it felt to have this man in his arms, bodies pressed together. "You maybe want to go get something to eat?" He'd just asked Joey out. On a date. He wondered if Joey would catch that. He had.

"A date?" Joey asked. He held his breath, hoping that Kevin's answer was yes.

"Our first?"

Joey thought about it and shook his head. "No, I think in the early days we'd gone on dates. We never called them that of course... god forbid. But I distinctively recall us going out a few times. But it can be our first official date."


Kevin grinned. He looked at his watch and was surprised to see how much time had passed since they'd entered the hotel room. Granted, he'd expected them to be a lot more naked and less interested in going out, but he was pleased that he and Joey had talked and gotten things straight, especially where their relationship was concerned. He was simply glad that they had a relationship to be concerned about at this time. And as much as he wanted to be locked in Joey's naked, sweaty embrace, making love and being made love to by this man, he also wanted to take things slowly. Get to know Joey again, cover new ground between them and not start their relationship based on sex. This was their second chance and he wasn't willing to mess that up.

~*~*~*~*~*


With a final cry, Nick's release washed over him, shooting deep inside of Justin's body. He'd held on for as long as he could, unable to resist the way Justin's body was so responsive, the tight heat that enveloped him from the moment he began to enter the younger man as well as the dozen or so love bites and marks Nick knew Justin had left on his throat and chest. Looking down, he saw a mark as far as his shoulder and grinned, he was marked, marked as Justin's and it was all he'd ever remembered wanting.

A soft whimper on the bed beneath him reminded Nick that he'd been the only one to achieve his orgasm. Justin was still holding on by a fine thread and Nick could feel Justin's erection pressed against his stomach between them. With a few rapid movements of his hips Nick watched Justin's face contort into a painfully pleasurable expression.

"Please.." Justin whimpered. He opened his eyes and pleaded with Nick to afford him his release.

"I could never say no to you," Nick admitted with a smile as he reached between them and grasped Justin's cock tightly. He pressed the swollen organ against his stomach and began to grind down on it, using his hand on the other side for more leverage. Nick leaned down, captured Justin's mouth in a hot, wet kiss as he gave two hard strokes, just enough pressure for Justin to cry out and explode between them, coating their already sweaty and messy chests with the evidence of his pleasure.

The release was painful yet delicious and Justin's body shook with the aftershocks. Nick held him until he'd finally stopped shaking, their bodies molding into one tangled mass of limbs. Their hearts were synchronized, breathing still accelerated and Justin curled up against Nick's chest, feeling a sense of inner peace at being so close to the other man.

"Are you hungry?" Nick asked. They had been resting peacefully for nearly an hour, neither making any move to get up and clean themselves. Justin was half asleep, unsure if he'd heard Nick correctly.

"What?"

"Food. Are you hungry?" Nick was ravenous. He propped himself up on one elbow so that he could look down at Justin dozing. He was beautiful.

Justin growled into the pillow, words that Nick couldn't make out. Nick simply snickered, kissing the side of Justin's face. "I'll buy."


Those were the magic words. Justin's head popped up and he opened two sleepy eyes. "I could eat."

"You're so easy!" Nick smacked Justin's ass as he climbed out of the bed. He walked across the room and got into the shower. When the water was perfect, Nick felt Justin step in behind him. He smiled to himself and turned around. "You okay?"

"Tired."

"Go back to sleep."

"You promised me dinner. I'll sleep later." Justin grinned and pressed a quick kiss to Nick's mouth. It was amazing how easily it had been for them to fall into a comfortable zone with each other.

They went back into the bedroom and redressed in the clothes they had been wearing earlier. Nick checked his phone to see that Kevin had left him a message. He and Joey were going to be down in the hotel's main restaurant. If Justin and Nick felt so inclined, they were invited to join them.

"Kev and Joe went downstairs to eat. They might still be there."

Justin nodded, he definitely wanted to talk to Joey and let him know that everything was going to be okay. He was finally on the right road to having everything he'd ever wanted in his life.

The moment they walked into the restaurant, Justin spotted Joey and Kevin at a table, coffee cups in front of them. "Corner," he pointed, leading Nick to the table where their friends were sitting. Upon approaching, Joey and Kevin looked up, pleased to see the satisfied and glowing faces of Nick and Justin.

"Hey, we were just wondering what you two were up to," Kevin nodded towards a chair, inviting them to sit down. Nick took the seat next to Kevin, while Justin sat beside Joey. The atmosphere at the table was electric.

"We decided to get some dinner," Nick said as he reached for a menu. He caught Kevin's eye and winked. Kevin understood immediately and smiled.

"So, you two figure things out?" Joey asked bluntly, much to Justin's embarrassment.


"Jesus, Joe!" Justin cried, shaking his head. He saw the way Kevin was smirking and Nick was blushing and he glared at his best friend. "Did you and Kevin?" That alone wiped the smirk off of Joey's face and he found himself blushing as well.

"Yes." Kevin answered, matter of fact.

"So did we." Nick countered.

"Good, it's about time." It was Joey's turn.

"I could say the same thing about you two." Justin shot back.

"You just did," Kevin pointed out. All four men were smiling.

"Guess I did." Just as Justin was about to stick his tongue out, the waitress approached, a coffee canister in her hand. She topped up Kevin and Joey's cups and smiled at Justin and Nick.

"Can I get you two anything?"

"Eggs benedict," Nick ordered as he scanned the menu. With a side of home fries please. And a large orange juice."

"I'll have the spinach and feta omelet please, with a side of brown toast," Justin ordered. Nick, Kevin and Joey stared at him incredulously. He shrugged and continued. "And an iced tea with lemon."

"Sure thing." The waitress left to fill their orders. Nick shook his head.

"You're not eating any of mine," he said.

"We'll see about that," Justin, Joey and Kevin all said in unison, causing for them all to break into laughter. Justin pouted and batted his eyelashes, surprised when Nick rolled his eyes.

"So not going to work. You're going to have to do better than that."

Justin leaned in and whispered something in Nick's ear. He went a shade of red before a sly grin covered his mouth and his groin started to swell.

"Did you want me to feed it to you, Baby? I don't want you wasting energy needlessly," was all Nick responded with.

Again, Joey and Kevin broke into laughter.

The pieces fell into place effortlessly. It was as it was always meant to be, with nothing standing in the way. All four knew that the battle was far from over, as there was years of baggage to deal with, but for the most part, the hardest part was over.

They had the future to look forward to, and the past to look upon as reference. A guidance on where they'd gone wrong and what to do to rectify it.

Finis


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