Title: The One Where Nothing
Happens Author:
Pairing: None Part: 1/1 Series: "The One" Series Rating: R for language Disclaimer: Fiction for
entertainment purposes, not to be taken as truth. Warnings: AU Warning, Non-GSF
Warning, Bi-Groupal Warning Notes: There were parts of this
that made me laugh out loud while I was writing it. It's been a long
time since that has happened, especially to the degree I was laughing.
I was hysterically, falling off my chair laughing. GTs. This was
unbetaed, so all mistakes are mine!! And I know it seems to end rather
abruptly, but that's the point. Nothing happens and when nothing
happens, it's hard to decide when to just end it. So I did. I swear,
this story could have gone on for pages and pages and pages...
~*~*~*~*~
Time was moving backwards. It had to be because there was no way that
it was only four o'clock. Justin had one hour before he could finally
go home for the weekend and he stared at the clock on the wall in
disbelief as he actually thought he saw the minute hand going
backwards. The last hour on a Friday afternoon was killer and all he
could think about was two days of freedom. Nothingness. Chilling on the
couch with his house mates watching their new, boss, entertainment
system. Again, Justin looked at the clock in dismay, annoyed that only
a minute had passed since the last time he looked. At least it WAS
going forward rather than backward. He thought about the weekend ahead
and he sighed. A small grin covered Justin's face.
Two days earlier a large truck had pulled into the driveway of the
house that he shared with four other guys, friends of his he'd met in
his freshman year of college and still, after five years, was still
inseparable from. Much to everyone's surprise, when the delivery men
started unloading the truck, they were informed that it was a 56 inch
plasma TV, a ten disc DVD player and a fully equipped game system, not
to mention a beautiful solid oak entertainment centre to display it in.
"You must have the wrong address," Justin announced, unable to believe
that this was all theirs. He prayed to every God he could think of that
they didn't have the wrong address and this beautiful, orgasmic looking
system was going to be theirs. Their boring 27 inch normal TV paled in
comparison to the new one that was shining, all pretty and new. Justin
shrugged at his house mates when the delivery men continued to move the
equipment into their living room. Justin fought not to jump up and kiss
the two men.
"We have the correct address. It was repeated to us ten times just in
case we didn't understand. It was spelled out and everything." The
delivery man did not look impressed. Justin and his house mates all
turned their attention to Justin's best friend Lance, in question.
It was Nick, one of Justin's other house mates that spoke next. "Uhhhh,
by any chance... Was the name on the bill Bass?"
The mover nodded, rolling his eyes. "Yeah. Nice folks. Really!" The
sarcasm was dripping from his words, causing Lance to blush, his house
mates all hooted and hollered in amusement. It took one phone call to
find out why they were the owners of a very new, very cool
entertainment system.
It turned out that the Bass' realized they had missed their only son's
birthday. Four months earlier. And to show their regret and love, they
had their personal assistants make a few phone calls to order the best
of the best for their favourite son Lance. It didn't matter that while
he was celebrating his 25th birthday, they were in the south of France,
virtually unreachable. It didn't matter that Lance had not only spoken
to, but seen them since his birthday and not once was the forgotten day
mentioned. And it didn't matter that Lance had pretty much disowned
them and didn't care whether or not they remembered his birthday, let
alone any other holiday. They still felt the need to save face, and if
spending several tens of thousands of dollars on the newest electronics
and equipment was the way they had to do it, they would make the
sacrifice.
Lance had to admit, once everything was set up and it took up the whole
main wall in the den, he wasn't actually going to complain. Since that
day the only time any of them had left the living room was to go to
work, and that had been more than painful for them.
Justin looked at the clock again, frowning when he saw that it was only
a quarter after four. His only consolation was that he would still be
getting home before anyone else, which gave him the prime TV watching
position. Nick and Lance wouldn't probably be home until at least six,
and Alex and Joey usually only came in a little before that, sometimes
after depending on the buses. So Justin knew he'd not only get first
pick of where to sit, but he'd have control over the remote control.
Life was sweet, and he owed it all to working the closest to home. Not
to mention having his own car, not having to rely on public
transportation all the time.
After a painful half hour, Justin could finally start shutting
everything down. Of course he was going to have to drag the process
out, but at least he would be ready to go right at five, if not a few
minutes earlier. It was just when we was about to stand up and throw
his bag over his shoulder that his work phone rang.
"Justin Timberlake," he answered, not bothering to look at the call
display.
"J? It's Joe!"
Justin's skin pricked with worry at the sound of Joey's voice. He
didn't sound all that good and as Justin remembered to that morning, he
recalled seeing Joey look a little more pale than usual. He sat down
for a moment, "What's wrong?"
"Just feeling a little under the weather. I think it's a summer cold or
something. I felt like shit this morning and it only got worse as the
day went on, so I came home early. Can you bring me some gingerale
home? We're out."
Justin could and he would. He made a stop on the way home, picked up
some junk food for the weekend and half an hour after Joey had made the
phone call, Justin walked in their front door. Joey was sprawled on the
couch and Justin put the bottle of gingerale in front of his sick house
mate. He headed into his bedroom, changed out of his work clothes into
something more comfortable before going to the kitchen to make a snack.
After calling in to see if Joey wanted anything else, Justin joined him
on the couch, curling up against the opposite end while their feet
mingled in the middle.
Their eyes met and they engaged in a silent conversation, questioning
what to watch. Joey smiled and turned the channel to the game show
network, where an old school episode of the Price Is Right from the
70's was on. The two men settled into a comfortable silence, one which
was occasionally broken as they participated in the festivities.
"A dollar ninety nine," Justin said, trying to price a can of water
packed tuna.
Joey chuckled, which turned into a full blown coughing fit.
"Seventy-nine cents," he choked out after sipping on his gingerale.
They waited in anticipation for one of Barker's Beauties to unveil the
price. Joey smiled in victory as Justin scoffed. They waited for
another contestant to 'come on down'.
"Eighty nine cents."
"A dollar thirty-nine."
"How can they not get the hole in one? It's so fucking easy!"
"J, not everyone's a mini-golf pro like you!!"
"I fucking LOVE plinko!!!"
"Two-fifteen."
Justin paused as his house mate priced a jug of fabric softener. "Dude.
It always ends in a nine. Two twenty-nine. Three-o-nine, fifty-nine..."
Joey shrugged. "Two-fifteen."
The hour passed and finally it was time for the showcase showdown. They
watched with interest as the first showcase was revealed.
"Keep it!" Justin called out to the screen. "It's not gonna get better
than that!! You always know if there's a vehicle in the first one, the
second one is gonna blow." Joey met Justin's eye and they both broke
into laughter. It wasn't until Joey started to cough and had to take
another long drink to calm his chest that they quieted down. They
watched the contestant take the showcase and look at the audience to
bid.
"Seven thousand, four hundred," Justin guessed, looking at Joey for
confirmation.
Joey contemplated Justin's guess as well as the prizes to be won,
taking into account the fact that it was from thirty years earlier.
"I'll agree with that bid."
The next showcase was being presented when the door opened and Lance
and Nick entered the house. "What are you ladies watching?" Nick
grabbed a beer from the fridge and entered the living room. The moment
he saw Joey curled up on the couch with a blanket covering him his
eyebrows furrowed. "Bro? You okay?"
"Summer cold dude. Killer."
Nick nodded sympathetically as he sat down on the lazy boy that was
closest to the couch. Lance made himself comfortable on the bean bag
chair, accepting the beer that Nick had passed him.
"Need anything?" Lance asked after downing a quarter of his beer.
"Not yet, I'm okay."
"Shut up fuckers, I'm missing this!" Justin complained as he raised the
volume on the TV. All eyes were on the screen, watching expectantly.
When they were finished, all eyes were on Justin. "Four thousand, three
hundred and seventy one."
"For all that?" Nick asked incredulously.
"Yeah, for all that." Justin rolled his eyes.
"Are you serious?" Nick chuckled, he ducked when Joey tossed a used
tissue at him. "Ass wipe, that's gross."
"It's like nineteen seventy four then Carter, things weren't as
expensive back in the day. Fuck, you weren't even born yet."
"Uh, none of us were born yet," Lance pointed out, shrinking as Joey
took aim with another tissue.
Nick thought about it, finally shrugging. "I guess." Justin glared at
Nick, growling softly. He received a wink and an air kiss in return
from the blonde.
It was as Justin was basking in his victory of two won showcase
showdowns that their fifth and final house mate entered the house. Alex
took one look at the other four and started to laugh. "I should have
known you rejects would be parked in front of the TV." He looked at
Lance and Nick and rolled his eyes. "You two haven't even fucking
changed!"
The two men in question were still in their work clothes. Both men
shrugged in apathy. Changing would mean getting up, getting up would
mean they would be away from the TV and all its toys, clothes really
didn't matter all that much.
"Has anyone at least thought about dinner?"
Again he received shrugs, except this time there were four. Alex rolled
his eyes and Joey voiced his defense. "I'm sick so I shouldn't have to
worry about it. You guys should be taking care of me."
"Hey, I got you gingerale bitch!" Justin said, kicking Joey gently. AJ
chuckled as he looked at Justin, Lance and Nick.
"He's sick, what's your excuses?"
"Lazy," Nick replied.
"Ditto," Lance agreed.
Justin shrugged, refusing to answer the question.
"Pathetic, you're all fucking pathetic." Alex went into the kitchen,
returning with a handful of pamphlets. "What do we feel like?"
Lance grinned. "We may be pathetic, but at least we'll be fed. You're
the best wife a man can get Alex."
Alex knew that was the plan all along and thus didn't feel offended by
Lance's observation. They were all the same, and he'd done exactly what
they had done to him, countless times. If you waited long enough,
someone else would care enough to get dinner either started or ordered,
it was just a matter of who was the hungriest at the time. He sat down
on the floor and gave Lance the finger. "Pizza?"
Joey gagged, everyone else shook their heads.
"We eat too much fucking pizza," Lance complained.
"Sushi?"
This time Joey and Justin gagged, Alex shaking his head in agreement.
"Chinese?"
Joey gagged again but everyone else was favourable. Alex patted Joey's
head comfortingly. "We'll get you some miso soup Joe. It'll make you
feel better and it's not too heavy." By the time Alex had ordered their
dinner, they were midway through an old Dating Game.
"We're not watching this all night, are we?" Nick asked, bored.
No one answered so he repeated himself. "Are we?"
"What do you want to watch?" Justin countered without taking his eyes
off the screen. When Nick didn't answer he looked at the blonde. "Well?"
"I'm sure there's a game on some channel, I mean, we get like six
hundred of them now."
"All we ever do is watch 'the game'," Lance complained. "I mean, I'm as
into sports as the next guy," Lance paused as his house mates gave
hearty laughs. "I'm serious, I can handle them some of the time, but
fuck.. it's Friday night. What else is on?"
Joey clicked the button that brought up the TV guide. They flipped for
a few minutes, scanning the multitude of stations they now had. It was
when he got to SCREAM, the horror movie network that he stopped. "Damn,
a marathon!"
Right before them was the listings for a Friday The Thirteenth
marathon, followed by a Nightmare on Elm Street marathon, ending with
Freddy Vs Jason. It was pretty much a weekend of horror classics. The
room was silent. Finally Nick spoke up. "What time does it say it
starts?"
"Eight tonight," Joey coughed. Looking at the clock, they saw it was
just seven thirty. "We've got about half an hour."
"I'ma go change," Nick announced standing up. Before he left the
vicinity of the chair he turned to face his house mates. "And none of
you better be taking my chair while I'm gone." He saw Alex flash him a
smile that was too innocent and he knew the second he got up his spot
would be taken. He got a brilliant idea and sat back down.
"I thought you were gonna change," Justin said, watching the blonde
curiously. He saw Nick grin and knew he was up to something.
"Just have to do something first." Nick took a deep breath and seconds
later a loud farting noise could be heard. The blonde burst into
laughter and let another one rip, this one louder than the first.
Joey and Justin couldn't help but giggle, the look on Alex and Lance's
faces priceless. Nick winked at his house mates and stood up before
walking towards his bedroom.
"What the hell was that?" Lance asked, covering his face with his hand.
The smell of Nick's gas had already overwhelmed the living room.
"My insurance that the seat will be free when I get back," Nick winked
as he disappeared.
Joey's laughter had turned into gasps for air as the stench was rank.
"Oh fuck bro, that's nasty. What the hell have you been eating?"
"With that, I'm gonna go change too. Hopefully when I get back the room
will be aired out," Lance stood up, his hand still covering his nose as
he darted out of the room.
Joey and Justin looked at each other and the second their eyes met they
burst into giggles, both cowering underneath the blanket. "God, don't
you fucking dare fart Bro, I'll kill you!" Justin threatened. He
started laughing enough that he himself farted causing for Joey to
laugh harder, which also ended up with a fart.
Alex stood up, disgusted by his house mates. "You're all savages." The
room was nearly unbearable, but Joey and Justin found it too funny to
mind. Alex stood up and opened the window, hoping to air the room out.
"You gonna sit in his chair?" Joey asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Hell no!"
"Insurance," Nick repeated as he reentered the room, clad in a tee
shirt and a pair of baggy jogging pants. He sniffed the room and his
nose scrunched up in distaste. "That can't just be me." His comment
brought forth more giggles from Justin and Joey on the couch.
"Savages!" Alex reiterated, shaking his head.
"Can it smell any worse in here?" Lance asked as he sprinted back into
the room and snagged his open chair before anyone could protest. This
time Joey, Justin and Nick all looked at one another and smirked. At
the same time, three distinct 'pfffft' noises could be heard as the
three men burst into hysterics. Lance sighed, trying not to encourage
them by laughing as well. "I guess I spoke too soon."
"Shouldn't dinner be here soon?" Nick whined, settling in for their
movie marathon. He grabbed a handful of chips from the bag sitting on
the coffee table. As if on cue, the doorbell rang and all five men
jumped to attention.
"How the fuck do you do that?" Alex asked in wonder. "Every damn time."
Nick shrugged, smiling around his mouth of Lays. "Need money?"
Alex shook his head. "Nah, I got it from the cookie jar." The cookie
jar was a jar in the kitchen where each of the house mates put money
weekly in case they wanted to get dinner, or something or other popped
up. It saved them from scrambling for their wallets at the last minute.
Justin took the chance that Alex was distracted with the food to jump
off the couch and run to the bathroom, wanting to relieve his bladder
before starting dinner and the marathon coming up. Thankfully, Alex was
still getting dishes and cutlery by the time he scurried back in and
jumped back onto the couch.
"We're awful," Nick voiced, cackling evilly.
"Like he's not just as bad," Lance pointed out, not feeling bad at all
that Alex was going to be banished to the floor. The other three had to
admit that their house mate was right and thus got comfortable, waiting
for Alex to return with their food and dinnerware. By the time the
marathon started, they were all armed with lo mein, fried rice, and egg
rolls, Joey with a huge carton of miso soup.
The dirty dishes and half empty cartons sat on the coffee table until
the first movie was finished. "We've got ten minutes before the second
one starts," Joey announced as he stretched.
Lance and Alex cleaned up the mess while Justin and Nick fought over
the bathroom. When they returned to the living room, the other three
made their way for bathroom and stretch breaks. By the time everyone
was back in their places, the second Friday the 13th was starting.
Justin scratched Joey's leg lightly.
"You feelin' okay?"
Joey nodded, flashing the younger man a smile. "Yeah, the soup was a
good idea."
"Told you," Alex commented from the floor where he was surrounded with
pillows. "I know my shit."
They were silently watching the movie, zoned out and enjoying the
plasma screen when the phone rang, scaring the crap out of everyone.
Although he denied it, Justin screamed like a little girl, nearly
kicking Joey in the crotch.
"I'm sorry, I was startled," Justin blushed, thankful that the room was
too dark for anyone to notice.
"Startled? I'm sure that if we look down your pants, we'd find that you
shit yourself," Lance snickered. He reached for the cordless that was
sitting on the coffee table. He shrugged when Alex shot him a strange
look. "What?"
"You want to look down J's pants?"
Lance rolled his eyes. "Yes, I do. Is that what you want to hear
dumbass? That I'm jonesin' to look down the baby's pants so I can get a
good look at his junk." He paused for a moment for effect before
continuing. "No, what I'm saying is that it scared the shit out of him.
Didn't you hear him scream like a fucking twelve year old?" Lance
sighed as he hit the answer button. "Hello?"
"I think Lance's got a hard on for Justin," Alex announced knowing that
Lance couldn't retaliate while on the phone.
"You're so retarded," Joey said, wrestling his leg free from the
blankets and kicking Alex in the back of the head.
"I think Alex has a hard on for Lance," Nick announced, his eyes still
glued to the TV." When no one answered, he looked at them and shrugged.
"What? You don't think?"
"Why the fuck would you say that?" Alex asked.
"Because you're always commenting on how Lance wants Justin, so if
you're that concerned with it, it must be for a reason. And that reason
is you want in Lance's pants. Which is fine dude, I won't deny he's got
a hot ass and ... well we've all seen him naked and there's no doubt
about how hung he is. But again, it's only if you're into that."
"I think NICK has a hard on for Lance," Justin announced, staring at
his friends incredulously.
Joey shook his head. "Nick always has a hard on."
Lance threw the phone at Nick, smiling as it landed in the blonde's
lap. "Speaking of hard on, it's your girlfriend."
"Yeah?" Nick gave a half grin as he spoke into the phone. Kevin's voice
came through, loud and clear. They had been in a quasi relationship for
about three months, neither wanting to commit to something serious but
at the same time, not wanting the other to be with anyone else.
"Hey. What's up?"
"Just watching TV with the boys, you?"
"Going out clubbin' with Josh. I was wondering if you wanted to come
with? We could pick you up in half!"
Nick looked at the other guys and then the TV, not wanting to really
get off the chair. "How 'bout tomorrow night?"
Kevin chuckled and shook his head. "You guys need to get away from that
damn TV." Nick laughed, knowing he was right. "But tomorrow night, I'm
holding you to that. If I have to come over and force you to get ready
and come out, you are."
"For sure, Babe. I'm all about that, tomorrow."
They said their good-byes and Nick focused his attention back onto the
screen. All conversation was paused as they watched the movie in
silence. As the credits were rolling Lance turned to his house mates
and cocked his head to the side. "So what's this about me having a hard
on for Justin, but Alex and Nick having hard ons for me?"
Joey shrugged as he sipped some of his gingerale. "That was about the
extent of it."
Lance looked at Justin, Nick and Alex who all nodded. "Pretty much,"
Alex answered. Lance nodded.
"Okay. Just making sure."
A few minutes passed and Justin turned to Nick. "What did Kevin want?"
"He and Josh are going clubbing, wanted me to come with."
"And?" Joey asked, stretching the kinks out of his body.
"I'm still here aren't I? I'm gonna go tomorrow." He received four
raised eyebrows and started to chuckle. "Okay, so I'm gonna try to get
him to stay in tomorrow night and watch TV. I can't fucking NOT be in
this room staring at this thing. Lance, as much as your parents suck,
they fucking ROCK! If anything, I have a hard on for this TV. I'd have
it's fucking children if I could."
Everyone had to agree with that statement.
"Anyone want anything while I'm up?" Joey asked, crawling off the
couch. "I'm going to make some tea for my throat."
"Another beer," Nick called, which was seconded by Lance. Justin wanted
a mountain dew and Alex was fine. Joey made his tea, watching the
beginning of the third movie from the entrance between the kitchen and
the den, only to join Justin again on the couch about fifteen minutes
later. With their positions resumed once more, they fell into the
familiar silence, only broken by laughter and comments to characters on
the screen on what they should and shouldn't have done.
Everyone sighed in pleasure and contentment as the music cued up the
third installment of the horror series. None of the house mates would
be moving any time soon, at least not for any lengthy period of time.
Odds were, when Kevin came over the next day, he'd find them all in the
same positions they were in, wearing the same clothes, only having to
move long enough to go to the kitchen for something to eat or the
bathroom to relieve their bladders.